Dead Silence (Stillwater Trilogy #1)(76)
Author: Brenda Novak

He entwined his fingers with hers. “Grace…”

The tone of his voice made her nervous. “What?”

“I know you’re not going to want to talk about this, but…”

Tensing, she waited for the rest.

“…I need to know what happened the night the reverend died. Before whatever’s going on between us goes any further.”

She pulled her hands away. “Nothing happened. I’ve already told you and everyone else. He just…disappeared.”

He looked torn. “I’d like to believe you. I really would. But we both know that’s not the truth. Finding you with his Bible told me that much.”

She didn’t know how to respond. She wanted to level with him—but she couldn’t. Tomorrow, next year, he might not feel the same way toward her as he did right now. “It’s the only truth I can give you.”

“I have to protect Teddy and Heath, my parents,” he explained. “I can’t see you if I don’t know what I’m getting myself into.”

Grace froze inside. What had she been thinking? Just because his mother had asked her to stay, just because she entertained his boys so often, didn’t mean anything had changed between them. He was right. There were still too many risks. For both of them.

“I understand,” she said, folding her arms defensively. Every time she dared to hope, the shadow of her past stretched toward her like the reverend’s arm from his grave. She was stupid to think she could get beyond it, especially here in Stillwater. “I—” she pushed the wine aside “—I made cinnamon rolls for the boys. Why don’t you take some home with you for breakfast?”

“Stop it,” he said.

“Stop what?” she snapped, anger filling the sudden void in her chest, replacing the happiness, the optimism, of a moment earlier.

“Don’t withdraw from me, damn it. You were…there. I could feel it.”

“What do you want me to do?”

Taking her by the elbows, he pulled her up against him. “Trust me,” he whispered. Then his mouth covered hers.

She’d been starved for the taste of him—and suddenly he was there, giving her what she needed. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she returned his kiss more passionately than she’d kissed any man.

“Can you trust me?” he said against her mouth. “Please?”

She wasn’t sure. She was feeling too many sensations. He was yanking off her shirt, and she was trying to help him. She kept waiting for the moment she’d go cold inside, when she’d want him to stop. But as long as he was kissing her, touching her, murmuring in her ear, she felt nothing but warmth. This was Kennedy. It seemed as if she belonged in his arms.

“Tell me what happened to the reverend, Grace,” he said, cupping her br**sts and kissing the swell of them.

Think, she told herself. But she didn’t want to do anything that might end the arousal coursing through her. The desire for more of Kennedy, his touch, his taste, his smell nearly consumed her. She wanted to cast all care and caution aside, to escape them for once.

“Grace?” he prompted breathlessly.

“I…can’t,” she said.

He drew back, stared at her long and hard. Then he lowered his head and took her nipple in his mouth. “Don’t make me choose,” he said, his tongue moving against her.

Every nerve began to tighten and tingle. She closed her eyes at the pleasure he gave and let her head fall back. This was what other women experienced. This was healthy.

“Tell me it’s not going to hurt the people I love if I love you, too,” Kennedy said, the hoarseness of his voice telling her he was every bit as affected as she was.

It was the Bible that was making him so dogged, she thought. She had to give him some explanation or he’d keep pressing her. Fighting to control her careering emotions, she began to make up whatever she could think of—anything to obfuscate the reality of eighteen years ago. “I don’t…know what you mean. I—I found the…reverend’s Bible in the barn when I got back to town and…and I was going to plant it in Jed’s shop so—”

He took a step back. The expression on his face was one she’d never seen there before, one full of desire and deep regret. “You’re saying you were going to frame Jed? I can’t believe that.”

“No, of course not. Not really. I—”

“Forget it,” he said. The hard edge in his voice indicated that he was struggling with his own conflicts. “I have to go. I can’t keep pretending you’re telling me the truth. Teddy and Heath mean too much to me.”

Closing her eyes, Grace listened to his footsteps recede. He was right; he was better off without her. But when the house fell silent before he could have reached the front door, she looked up to find him watching her from across the room.

“I’m falling in love with you, Grace,” he said softly. “Do you know that?”

She shook her head. It was a lie. It had to be.

At her adamant rejection, he swore and started through the living room.

Grace stood at the kitchen counter, her nails curving into her palms. Don’t go, please. She knew, if he walked out, that would be the end of what they had. He’d just bared his soul—and she’d given him nothing in return.

But she couldn’t speak, couldn’t overcome the fear.

I’m falling in love with you…. His words seemed to swirl through her head, growing larger and then smaller. She wanted to grab hold of them, believe in them, let them anchor her to something better than she’d known. But how? Eighteen years of silence clogged her throat, choking off all sound.

When the front door opened, she told herself to let him leave. But she couldn’t. Not yet. He was the only one who could make her forget.

Grabbing her shirt and clutching it to her chest, she ran after him. “Kennedy?” she managed to call.

He turned in the doorway, his gaze hopeful.

Her mouth was too dry to speak. Swallowing hard, she pushed past the fear. “Stay with me tonight.”

His eyes filled with emotion. “Grace…”

“You can walk away in the morning,” she said. “One night won’t change anything.”

Kennedy wished he could refuse. But it was impossible. He’d been telling the truth when he said he was falling in love. And he knew it was the greatest of ironies, after the arrogant way he’d treated Grace when they were younger, that he should want her so badly now.