Death’s Excellent Vacation (Sookie Stackhouse #9.5)(15)
Author: Charlaine Harris

"No self-respecting undead hit man would take a contract on a human, " Bones said dismissively. "Humans are too easy. Like getting paid to stomp on a goldfish. But in your case, probably a human hit man who knows about the undead got frustrated that his last two attempts didn’t work, and gave some quid to a young ghoul to finish you. It’s a practical solution; the ghoul gets money and a meal, the hitter still keeps the bulk of the contract payment, and the client’s happy that you’re dead. " "You would know, wouldn’t you?" my mother muttered. "How’s that?" Tammy asked. Bones smiled at her, beautiful and cold at the same time. "Because I was a hit man for over two hundred years. " Tammy gulped. I didn’t add what I knew: that Bones had been very particular about his contracts. He killed other killers, not innocent people, and most of those people were his own kind. That hadn’t won Bones any popularity contests in undead circles, but if Bones thought someone deserved to die, he took the contract, no matter the danger. "In a few days, Don should have your greedy toad of a cousin arrested, and then it will be safe for you to go home, "Bones went on.

"If you’re a hit man, why can’t I just pay you to kill Gables?" she asked, recovering. "My birthday isn’t for another two months. Who knows if my cousin might try to kill me again, even if he is in jail?" My eyes widened at how causally Tammy broached the subject. Pass the salt. Kill my cousin. Bones shrugged. "He might, but you’ll have to look elsewhere for a hitter. I’m too busy for that now. "

Tammy glanced at my mother, me, and then Bones before her face tightened up. "This sucks, " she said, and ran up the stairs. Considering I could have been spending the next two weeks on vacation with my husband instead of looking after a spoiled rich girl who was being targeted by killers, I agreed. "It’ll be all right, Tammy, " I called out. An expletive was her response. Bones arched a brow and tapped the side of his eye. "Say the word, luv. I’ll glare a whole new attitude into her. " Vampire mind control would be the easy way out, but when did I ever take the easy way? "She’ll come around, " I muttered. Hurry up, Don. "I’ll go talk to her, " my mother said. Both my brows went up. "You think you can make her see reason?" My mother gave me a jaded look as she ascended the stairs. "You forget, Catherine–I’ve had a lot of experience dealing with a difficult child. " Bones laughed, with a knowing glance at me that made my mouth twitch despite myself. Okay. My mother had a point.

Chapter Nine

Three

I’D been in life-and-death situations since I was sixteen, but those could be handled with some bravery–or recklessness, depending on who you asked–and my knives. A cranky, demanding heiress required a different set of skills. Ones I didn’t seem to have. Day two during a conversation with Tammy: "So you’re married to Bones, huh? How’d you manage to snag him? You know,with your red hair and white skin, you look like a big candy cane. " Day three: "Boy, is Bones hot. If I were you, I’d be on him five times a day. If you two break up, send him my way, huh?" Day four: "Let me out of this room! I’ll call the police, the FBI. Let me out!" By day five, when Don still hadn’t located Gables, Bones and I were ready to take matters into our own hands. If my uncle, with all the resources of the military and the government behind him, couldn’t find Gables, then he wasn’t going to be found anytime soon. Putting our lives on hold for a few days was one thing, but Bones was Master of a large vampire line. We couldn’t hide with Tammy for much longer. Soon we’d have to get back to our usual routine, dealing with the intricacies and dangers of life in undead society. Not to mention, staying in a tiny house with my mother had ground my sex life to a halt. These walls were paper thin anyway, and with my mother being a vampire, anything we did would be as clear to her as if she were in the same room. The idea of her overhearing every last detail of me getting it on with Bones wasn’t romantic, to say the least. Yeah, it was past time to be proactive about finding Gables.

We drove down a barely used road that dead-ended at a large industrial warehouse. Judging from its exterior, you’d never guess this was a nightclub filled with creatures the average person didn’t believe existed. It was called Bite. Bones had taken me here on our first date, but we weren’t taking a trip down memory lane. We were here for information. Parking was around the back, surrounded by a thick line of trees that concealed the number of cars from anyone who happened to stumble across the lonely single road. For a secluded spot where immortals could let their hair down, Bite was perfect. Of course, the heartbeats coming from many of the people waiting to get in proved that Bite didn’t cater only to undead partiers. They’re the menu, with legs, Bones had said of the humans the first time he brought me here. It was a willing arrangement. A skillfully executed vampire bite could feel better than foreplay. Plus, some humans hung around vampires hoping to be promoted to the next level in the food chain. Even the undead had groupies. My mother declined to come with us, stating that she didn’t want to be around more vampires than necessary. Fabian stayed to keep her company, which seemed to make her happy. How far she’d come. I remembered when my mother would have run screaming away from a ghost, not looked forward to spending an evening with one. So it was just Bones, Tammy, and I who walked past the people in line. Humans and new vampires might have to wait their turn, but a Master vampire–and anyone with him–could go straight to the door. As we approached, I felt Bones draw in his aura of power, suppressing it to a level far below the mega-Master that he was.

It was a trick Bones had gotten better at during the past several months. Immediately, the connection I had with him was barely discernible. The last time he’d closed himself off like this, it was right before he’d almost died. Feeling that blank wall when I was used to tapping into his mood brought back bad memories. "I hate it when you do that, " I whispered. He squeezed my hand. "Sorry, luv. I don’t want to announce myself to anyone who doesn’t already know me. " I understood. Muting his power level was a better disguise for Bones than dyeing his hair or making other changes to his appearance. The entrance was guarded by a brawny, blond vampire who had to be six feet tall. She barely looked at Tammy, smiled when she saw Bones, and then laughed when her gaze flicked to me. "I knew it. Wait until I see Logan. I told him Bones brought the Red Reaper with him years ago, but Logan didn’t believe me. " I’d recognized the bouncer from that night, but I was surprised she remembered me. "Trixie, luv, been a long time, " Bones said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She returned it before shaking my hand. "Reaper. A pleasure. "