Deep Redemption

I bent down and kissed his forehead. “I will not let that happen,” I whispered, for his ears only. “I will not let you be alone ever again.”

Rider’s eye closed, and he slipped into a deep sleep. We got him into Smiler’s room in the clubhouse. He slept on the bed as Smiler—apparently a novice medic—stitched his wounds.

My sisters and I, in silence, cleaned my husband’s wounds. As his blood washed away on the white rags, I prayed that the cleansing water would bring with it a rebirth.

I was not sure how much pain Rider felt he needed to endure to finally be redeemed. But I knew—we all knew—he had suffered enough. I just needed him to believe it too.

Because I loved him.

And I would gladly be his redemption, if he would finally forgive himself first.

 

 

Chapter Eighteen

 

Styx

 

“What. The. Fuck?” Viking spat as we heard Smiler’s truck speed away from the barn.

I hadn’t moved. I hadn’t fucking moved one step. My chest muscles were about to rip from the tension.

Ky ran his hand down his face. “What the fuck now? The bastard hasn’t paid for turnin’ coat.”

I stared at the blood pooled on the floor beneath the chains. But my vision blurred ‘til all I was seeing was Mae, holding Bella’s hand, her eyes fixed on mine. I ain’t ever seen her so fucking determined about anything as she was in that moment. As pissed as I was, my fucking black heart swelled with pride too.

She’d had Bella’s back. All fucking four of them stood protecting that piece of shit’s life. Like fucking beautiful warriors.

I turned to face the brothers, who were all watching me. Tank flicked his chin. “We can’t let him live, Prez.”

My jaw clenched.

Mae. Fucking Mae. I hadn’t known she would ever rise up against me. But then I hadn’t known what she would do for her sisters. Now I fucking did.

AK ran his hand over the nape of his neck. “Smiler, the little fuck. What the hell was he doin’? The fucker just met all our eyes with zero fuckin’ shame as he carted the rat out of here.” I remembered. But more than that, I remembered how Mae had walked behind them, clutching Lilah and Maddie’s hands . . . never once looking my way.

“Helpin’ his brother,” Cowboy replied from where he rested against the barn’s wall. The laidback Cajun had his arms crossed over his muscled chest and his foot resting against the wood. He looked fucking bored, unlike the rest of the brothers. Cowboy pointed at Hush beside him. “Would never see me cuttin’ this guy up in revenge.” He shook his head. “Don’t fuckin’ care if he shot up a whole fuckin’ town, I wouldn’t fuckin’ do it.” He flicked his chin in the direction of the door. “Smiler never took one strike at Rider. Thinkin’ he still sees him as his family. Thinkin’ he forgives him too.”

Viking laughed. “Think it’s ‘bout time you go change your tampon, Cowboy. You bein’ on the rag this heavy is makin’ you real fuckin’ emotional.”

Cowboy smiled a cold smile at Viking. “Say what you want, brother, but you ain’t gonna be putting a blade through Flame or AK’s head anytime soon. You’d fuckin’ die for them first.”

Viking stuck his finger up at Cowboy; Cowboy tipped the edge of his Stetson in response. The Cajun was dead right.

I looked at Bull, and signed, “Get the prospects to clean this place up.”

I stormed toward the door, but before I got there, Viking said, “So what, Prez? We’re just gonna let him get away with all the shit he’s done?”

My back tensed as I heard the pissed-off tone in his voice. But I didn’t reply. I walked forward, but Vike spoke again. “You’re the fuckin’ Hangmen prez! You can’t be lettin’ your piece of pussy stop this kill! Tonight was a fuckin’ joke. You shoulda grabbed all y’all bitches by their hair and threw them outside! Pussy don’t interfere with Hangmen business. You just stood there like a dick and let them take him!”

Rage must have made me black out or some shit. Because the next thing I knew I had his huge fucking pale body up against the wall, my hand squeezing the air from his fucking throat. I could hear the brothers’ shouts from behind me, but I didn’t fucking care. All my attention was on this fuck. His eyes locked on mine as his face reddened. The anger searing through me forced words from my fucking defective mouth. “Y-You w-w-wanna be the f-f-fuckin’ p-prez? Y-You wanna t-t-take this sh-shit from m-my h-h-hands?” I slammed my free hand over the “Prez” patch on my cut. “Y-you w-want this? ‘Cause I-I’m sick of all th-this sh-shit!” My fingers piled more pressure onto his throat. Leaning closer, I said, “Y-You e-ever m-m-mention M-Mae again a-a-and I’ll k-k-kill y-y-you!” Viking’s eyes bulged. I dropped my arm and watched the fucker fall.

I whipped around to face my brothers with my arms spread wide. They were silently staring at me in shock. “An-anyone e-e-else wanna f-f-fuckin’ say s-s-somethin’?” I roared, my lips curling in fucking rage.

No fucker said a thing.

Dropping my arms, I fucking hightailed it into the rain, letting the water wash the blood from my skin.

I heard the sound of footsteps chasing me, and it was no surprise to me that it was Ky. My best friend joined me at my side. I turned to the thick wood of trees and began cutting through to my cabin.

“Fuck, Styx!” he said. “You just fuckin’ spoke! The brothers are just stood there like zombies, fuckin’ dumbstruck!” I kept pounding forward. My pulse was slamming in my neck. “SHIT!” he screamed and balled his hands into fists. “Our old men would be rollin’ in their fuckin’ graves at the shit that just happened! We can’t let our bitches do that again; the brothers were right. Hell, our old men would have slapped the fuck outta their women for pullin’ a move like that. That can’t happen. They need to keep their mouths shut.”

I didn’t respond; I just moved faster. “Styx,” Ky called as he followed me up the wet verge. “STYX!”

I spun around and shouted, “Wh-what the f-f-fuck do you ex-expect me t-to d-d-do?!”

The rain poured down my face and I yanked my hand through my hair. Knowing I couldn’t speak for shit right now, I signed, “You gonna kick the fuck outta Lilah for that shitshow? You think Flame is gonna lock Madds away and beat her for goin’ against him?” I tensed my jaw. “No, the fucker would kill any brother who even expected it of him. And don’t for a second think that I wouldn’t kill any prick in this club who wanted to punish Mae in my place.” A growl rattled in my chest. “I’d fuckin’ murder them, Ky. Any fucker tries to even speak to her about that fuckin’ interruption and I’ll fuckin’ rip out their tongues.”