Deep Redemption

Ruth said goodbye and left the cabin, smiling at me as she passed. I glanced to the bed. Rider’s eyes were already on mine. I crossed the room and wrapped my hand around his. I sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over to kiss Rider’s soft lips. I ran my hand over his hair. “Sleep, baby,” I whispered. “Sleep.”

Rider’s eyes drifted shut, and in minutes, his breath evened out.

While he slept, I cleaned the cabin, finishing just as dusk began to bring its early curtain of darkness. Needing to get some fresh air, I stepped out into the humid night.

I sat down on a log that sat amid the wildly overgrown grass . . . and I breathed. I breathed and breathed, and allowed myself, for the first time, to let our new reality sink in.

We were free. We were out of the commune, away from the Hangmen . . . and we were free.

I felt tears flood down my cheeks. And I allowed myself to cry. I cried and I cried for the all of the lost lives, the burdens and the pain. I cried out everything I had kept locked inside for years, sending it all into the twilight sky. Minutes and minutes passed until all my tears had been shed. In its place was a welcomed numbness.

The spark of a new beginning.

I stared at the old wooden cabin. Hope sprouted in my chest. It was ours. We had a home of our own. I took in a deep breath as I thought about our future. I had no idea what it would hold. For the first time since we had arrived here, I wondered how I would live in this outside world.

Brother Stephen had explained so much to me in Puerto Rico that I found myself feeling a strange mixture of recognition and uncertainty when I was faced with new buildings, people and things. Devices that were shunned by our people. Even clothes that some people wore confused me.

But I did not let it scare me. If I had survived this far, I was determined to take on this new world’s way of life with my eyes wide open. I would no longer be held back.

I tipped my head back and smiled when I saw the stars begin to shine. Suddenly, I heard the sound of a vehicle approaching. Lights came slowly toward the cabin.

I tensed, wondering who it could be. The vehicle stopped, and my sisters got out.

All three.

Lil’ Ash sat in the driver’s seat. He threw me a small, shy wave. I waved back. Too tired to rise from the log, I smiled as my sisters came toward me, dishes in their hands. Lilah was the first to speak. “We have brought you food. For your new home.”

“Thank you,” I said and got to my feet. I took the dish from Lilah’s hand and placed it near the door. “Rider is asleep,” I explained.

“Shall we sit?” Mae asked, pointing to the log.

I nodded and sat back down. Lilah sat beside me. Maddie and Mae settled on the ground opposite us. I watched as Maddie looked all around us, a sadness sprouting in her eyes.

“Do not be sad,” I said to my youngest sister. Maddie looked up at me through damp lashes.

“I do not like that you are so far away from us.” She wiped her cheek. “I do not like that you must live out here all alone, unable to come to the gatherings. Our celebrations. To our homes.”

My stomach fell at the pain in her voice. Reaching forward, I took hold of her hand. “Maddie . . . it has to be this way. And I am okay with it. He is alive. That is all that matters to me. Not this house or the distance. But that my heart did not break with another devastating loss.

“And that is because of you.” I sat back, releasing Maddie’s hand. “I have not had a chance to thank you all properly. But . . . but you will never know what it meant to me, when you came to stand beside me in that barn.” I choked on a sob. “When I saw him tied up, so broken, I feared I would never be able to breathe again.” I blinked through my blurred vision. “But then you each stood beside me. In solidarity beside me.”

Mae shifted, and laid her hand over mine. “Always,” she whispered. “We will always be that way.”

Lilah shifted her hand to my shoulder and nodded her head. Maddie inched forward and put her hand over Mae’s. I felt the touch of my sisters and I had to close my eyes to savor this moment. This moment that felt so impossible before. Now so real and so true.

So welcome.

I opened my eyes. “We have always been this way, have we not? Us four against the world?” I huffed a small laugh. “Despite it all, we had a love that could never be shaken. A bond that no man could break.”

“Not even now,” Mae said and smiled. “Not even in that barn. We would never have left you alone. You are our sister. We will never let you go again.”

“And they will never understand,” Lilah said softly. I turned to my sister. “The men here—our husbands included—they will never truly understand why you saved him. But we do.” I stilled. Lilah looked back at the closed door of the cabin. “I have thought hard about what you said in the barn. And it is true. We always had one another. He had no one.” Her eyes shimmered. “Imagine being alone your entire life, with only a brother like Judah by your side. Rider would not have even known Judah was corrupted; he never had anyone to compare him to.”

Mae sighed sadly. “Bella, I do not think they will ever let him back in.”

“I know,” I replied. “And that is okay. Because he has me. He has Ruth, Stephen, Samson and Solomon.”

“And us,” Maddie said with a blush on her cheeks. “He has us too. We all understand what that life was like. And we do not lay blame at his feet.”

I nodded my head, too overcome with gratitude to answer. When I had pulled myself together, I whispered, “I love you. I love you all so much.”

“We love you too,” Mae said.

I felt the tiredness of the past few weeks begin to take me over. Lilah stroked her hand down my face. “You are exhausted.”

“Yes,” I sighed. “So, so tired.”

We got to our feet. Maddie’s arms were immediately around my waist, her cheek against my chest. “You do not have to fight anymore,” she whispered, her soft voice a balm to my nerves. “We are all safe. Rider is too. You no longer have to fight.” She lifted her head and her green gaze fell into mine. “You can live now, Bella. We are all happy. You are too. There is no more war for you fight.”

My face contorted as I cried, my shoulders racking with the impact of her words. Lilah’s and Mae’s arms wrapped around me too—this time it was them comforting me, saving me . . . protecting me.