Destiny Rising (Page 17)

"I’m not sure Chloe should be living like this," Matt said slowly, not wanting to offend Stefan.

Stefan’s lips curled up in a bitter smile. "The first lesson you both need to learn is that she’s not living like this. She’s not living at all – not anymore."

Next to Matt, Chloe hunched her shoulders protectively and crossed her arms. "I feel alive," she muttered. Matt waited for the wry, dimpling twist of her mouth he’d gotten used to from the human Chloe, but she just gazed down at her feet somberly.

"This is what it is, Chloe," Stefan said to her. His voice was dispassionate. "Until you can learn to survive without hurting humans, you can’t stay near them. Any scent or sound might set you off. It takes a long time to get to the point where you can trust yourself, and until you do, you’ll be skulking in the shadows, existing in the places where no human would go. Sewers. Caves. Places that make this boathouse look like luxury."

Chloe nodded, looking up at Stefan with wide, earnest eyes. "I’ll do anything I have to," she said. "This is my second chance – I understand that. I’m going to fix myself."

Stefan gave her a small smile. "I hope so, Chloe," he said. Rubbing the bridge of his nose between two fingers in a familiar weary gesture, he turned to Matt. "There are things you can do to help her," Stefan told him. "She’s young. It’s important she have plenty of blood or she won’t be able to think about anything else."

Matt started to speak and Stefan cut him off. "Not your blood. Animal blood. If you go with her into the woods when she’s hunting, you can help keep her grounded and away from humans. You can bring her animals when she doesn’t feel like she can go out." Matt nodded, and Stefan turned to Chloe. "You’re fast and strong now; you’ll be able to catch deer if you want to. If you concentrate, you should be able to call smaller animals – birds and rabbits – to you. You can try not to kill them if you want, but you probably will anyway, at least until you learn to control yourself."

"Thank you, Stefan," Chloe said solemnly.

"Practice deep breathing," Stefan told her. "Meditation. Listen to your own heartbeat, learn the new slower rhythm it has now that you’ve been turned. You’re going to get pretty agitated sometimes, and you should find out how to calm yourself down. Do it with her, Matt. It’ll help her focus."

"Okay." Matt wiped his sweaty hands against his jeans and nodded again. "We can do this."

His eyes met Stefan’s, and Matt was surprised by the look on the vampire’s face. Despite the matter-of-fact tone Stefan had been using, he could tell Stefan was concerned. "It’s dangerous for you," Stefan said gently. "I shouldn’t leave you with her."

"I wouldn’t hurt him," Chloe said. Her eyes filled with tears and she angrily brushed them away with the back of her hand. "I’d never hurt Matt."

Stefan turned the same sympathetic gaze on her. "I know you don’t want to hurt him," he told her, "but I also know you can hear the rushing of Matt’s blood as his heart pounds, that you can smell the overwhelming sweet blood-scent of him all around you. It’s hard to think straight when he’s near you, isn’t it? Part of you just wants to tear into him, to rip at that soft skin of his throat, to find the vein that’s so full of rich, warm blood, just there below his ear."

Chloe clenched her jaw, but the white edge of a tooth slipped past the firm line of her mouth, cutting at her lip. With a shudder, Matt realized that Chloe’s sharp vampire canines had descended while Stefan was talking, that she was ready to bite.

Steeling himself, Matt pushed down the instinct to run away from her and instead moved closer and put an arm across her shoulders.

"We’ll get through this," he said firmly. Chloe took a deep, slow breath and then another, clearly trying to calm herself. After a moment, her shoulders relaxed a little and, looking at the looser set of her jaw, Matt thought that her teeth had gone back to normal.

"What else should we do?" Chloe asked Stefan, her voice determined.

Stefan shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets. He walked back to the doorway and looked out over the dark water of the lake. "In the end, the only thing that matters is that you really want to change," he said. "If you want it enough and if your willpower is strong enough, you will. I won’t lie to you, it’s not easy."

"I do want to," Chloe said, her eyes shining with tears again. "I won’t hurt anyone. That’s not who I am, not even now. These last few days – I can’t be that thing." She closed her eyes, and the tears spilled over her lashes, running in silvery lines down her cheeks.

"You can’t feed on anyone," Stefan warned her. "If Matt or anyone else gets hurt, even if you’re sorry, I’ll do what I need to do to protect the humans here."

"You’ll kill me," Chloe agreed, her voice thin. Her eyes were still closed, and she hugged herself, wrapping her arms around herself defensively. "It’s okay," she said. "I don’t want to live like that."

"I’ll take responsibility for her," Matt said, his voice sounding loud in his own ears. "I won’t let anything bad happen."

Chloe inched closer to him, seeming to find comfort under his arm. Matt held on to her. Chloe could be saved; he knew it. He hadn’t been careful enough, hadn’t realized what Ethan was. But Chloe wasn’t lost to him, not yet.

"All right," Stefan said quietly, looking between them. "Good luck." He shook hands with Matt and then he turned and was gone, faster than Matt’s eyes could follow, no doubt headed back to Elena.

Chloe pressed against Matt’s side and laid her head on his shoulder. He rested his cheek on the top of her head, her dark, curly hair soft where it touched his face. This was dangerous, a small unhappy knot in his stomach reminded him, and he didn’t really know what he was doing.