Fall

“Jaymeson?”

I kissed her head. “Hmm?”

“I love you, too.”

Chapter Forty-One

Priscilla

I dreamed of car crashes, of metal slamming against metal. The screeches made me wince with pain as I watched my dad’s face disappear into the darkness.

I reached out to him.

And touched thin air.

Nothing.

With a sob I woke up, almost punching Jaymeson in the jaw.

“Hey.” His arms tightened around me. “It was just a nightmare, go back to sleep, we still have some time, alright?”

Nodding, I lay back down on the pillow.

Jaymeson shifted next to me and pulled out his phone. “This isn’t a good time, Peter,” he whispered.

With a curse, he looked at me, seeming to realize quickly that I was awake, mouthed sorry and moved across the room and into the bathroom.

The door wasn’t completely shut. My ears strained to hear what he was saying.

“Peter, her parents just died. No, I can’t make it to a damn final audition. Fine!” He yelled. “Then give it to someone else. I don’t care if it ruins my career, I don’t care if people hate me for the rest of my life. She’s hurting. I’m not leaving.”

He was silent for a few more minutes.

“Yeah man, I’m serious.” He sniffed. “Thanks, you too. And sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. It’s just, she’s my priority now, not the movie, not you, not the money. I hope you can understand.”

I closed my eyes as he walked back in the room. I’d never been good at faking sleep. I clenched my eyes together, and then felt cool air blow over my face.

“Worst acting I’ve ever witnessed,” he whispered in my ear. His breath caused chills to run down my body.

“You should go.” My body shuddered at the thought.

“Hell, no.” He looked offended. “I’m not leaving you.”

“But it’s your job.” I forced a smile. “Plus, Alyssa’s here and—”

“Stop it.” He jumped onto the bed putting a leg on either side of me, pinning me in place. “I love you. When you hurt, I hurt. I’m not leaving you, not for one second, not if they offer me a bloody billion dollar contract. They’d have to do nothing short of drugging me to get me on that plane, love.” He sighed, leaning forward so our breaths mingled. “Don’t you understand? The depth of what I feel for you? I’m not just crazy for you, I’m out of my mind, out of my depth, love. You are my life — to leave you would be like leaving a part of myself.”

Tears stung my eyes and boiled to the surface. Needing to stem them, I blinked; I couldn’t spend the rest of my life crying at every damn thing. “What happened to you?”

“I thought it was obvious,” he whispered. “You happened. It was you.”

Our mouths met. I lifted my arms as he pulled my tank top from my body.

“Thank you,” I whimpered. “Thank you for loving me.”

“It should be me, thanking you,” he said. “For not giving up on me, even when all signs pointed to me being hopeless.”

“You aren’t hopeless.” My lips grazed his. “You’re perfect.”

“That’s my line.”

“I stole it.”

He laughed.

It felt good to hear him laugh. When he laughed I wasn’t as consumed by the pain of loss — I didn’t feel as empty. I felt like I was going to be okay, as long as I had Jaymeson to hold my hand through the fire — I was going to make it.

“I’m ready.”

“Alright.” Jaymeson nodded. “Let’s get dressed, and I’ll take you back to the hospital.”

“No.” I felt myself blush. “I mean I’m… ready.” I wanted it. Wanted him, wanted him to make all the pain go away. To suck in all the darkness — and turn our situation into light.

Jaymeson’s face contorted as if he was in severe pain. “I can’t, love. Not now. I’d never forgive myself. I know that look. It’s not one of love. It’s desperation. I’ve worn that look more times than I could count. Giving yourself to me isn’t going to make the darkness go away — if anything it invites more in. Believe me when I say this moment isn’t right. You’ll know when it is, and there won’t be anything capable of stopping me from making you mine. You can count on that. Now get dressed before I decide to forget the fact that I’ve somehow managed to find my morals again.”

I sighed, not necessarily feeling rejected, maybe chastised a bit, but I had to admit I’d wanted him to consume me. I’d wanted a distraction. And that wasn’t fair to either of us.

“Okay,” I mumbled.

Jaymeson offered a soft smile and grabbed my hands, running them down the entire length of his body — all of his body. “Don’t for a second doubt that I burn for you. Day and night. Night and day. I freaking burn.”

And now my face was burning.

He released my hands and threw on his shirt, then walked out of the room, while I was torn between wanting to take a cold shower and wanting to bawl my eyes out.

I chose neither.

And opted to dress, take one more sip of wine, and walk out of the room. I had a little sister to fight for.

And with Jaymeson by my side, I truly did believe we’d win the battle… Months ago I’d painted him as the dragon. Never once did I imagine he was my shining knight the entire time.