Fall (Seaside #4)(31)
Author: Rachel Van Dyken

“Time?”

He leaned closer. “For the kiss.”

“So now it’s the kiss?”

“Makes it sound so important… besides I think every kiss with you will be that way, important, epic, amazing…” His fingers grazed my cheek as he cupped my chin and pressed his lips to mine.

They were warm, somewhat intoxicating as his mouth moved slowly against mine.

It was nice.

The kiss.

But it wasn’t Jaymeson. It wasn’t possessive, it wasn’t — devastating.

It was just a kiss.

But kissing Jaymeson? Even if he hadn’t meant it to be anything more than a lesson… it had wrecked me.

So when Smith’s tongue entered my mouth I honestly just fought through it, knowing that for the rest of my life my kisses would be like this. They’d be good — never great.

There was only one great.

And he was a self-proclaimed whore.

Lucky me.

“Goodnight.” I pulled back and reached for the car door, but Smith grabbed my hand and pulled me back into the seat kissing me harder.

I tried to return his enthusiasm, thinking I could escape if I kissed him more, but his hands moved to my hair, and then down my shoulders.

With a nervous laugh I pulled back. “I really should be going.”

His breathing was ragged. “I know, sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s fine,” I whispered. “See you later?”

“You can count on it…” With a wink he grabbed my hand and kissed my fingertips. “I’ll be dreaming about that kiss tonight.”

“Me too,” I lied. “Night, Smith.”

“Night, beautiful.”

With another tight smile, I jumped out of the truck and walked up to the condo. As I shoved the key into the lock, one thought replayed in my head over and over again.

I didn’t want to go home.

I wanted to talk to Jaymeson. I wanted to run over to his house and jump into his arms and tell him that the kiss wasn’t good and that it was his fault. I wanted to tell him he was my downfall.

My phone rang.

“Dad?” I answered as I opened the door. “What’s up?”

“Pris!” He sounded excited. “Lots of sunshine down here, how’s the rain?”

“Awesome. I only contemplated suicide like twice today.” I locked the door behind me. “So what’s up?” I winced as I realized I’d already asked that and now probably looked like a nervous teenager.

“That’s my girl, always looking at the positive.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Are you rolling your eyes right now?”

“It’s like you have cameras on me.”

His warm chuckle made me feel immediately better, like my date with Smith was peanuts compared to everything else going on in my life. I was fine. I would be fine with or without a guy or a stupid kiss because I had my parents. They were my rock. Everything.

Dad cleared his throat “…the damage to the house is pretty severe. It’s safe to live in. We can afford to do the damage cleaning, but as far as fixing the basement or the electrical, well, it’s going to be a process, sweetie. I know you hate asking, but do you think you can stay at Alyssa’s house for a while? The clean up crew should be going through everything to make sure there isn’t any smoke residue — legally you can’t stay there while they do that. We’re sending your sister to Stella’s once she gets back, and your mom and I will make due at the house until we can get everything fixed.”

“But you’ll have no electricity!” I argued.

“Oh, sweetie!” He sighed. “It’s fine. The church has showers and a kitchen, we’ll just be sleeping at the house.”

“But can’t you stay—”

“Pris, honey, don’t worry about us, okay? Everything’s going to be fine. We just want you girls to be safe and warm, alright?”

“Alright,” I croaked.

“We’ll be home in a little over two weeks. Maybe a miracle will happen between now and then, right?”

“Right.” I tried to keep my voice high. “Miracles happen.”

“That’s my girl.” He sighed again. “Love you, sweetie.”

“You too, Dad.”

The phone went dead. Dizzy with stress, I walked out onto the balcony and leaned against the railing, allowing the sea breeze to calm my nerves.

I had a guy that liked me. And I didn’t like him.

I had a guy who wanted to be my friend — whom I liked — whom I couldn’t have.

And my parents were hiding something from me. They didn’t have the money. They were basically going to live in poverty. I was ashamed to ask Demetri and Alyssa if my parents could stay at their condo too. I mean, they hadn’t even lived in their new place yet. The last thing they wanted was for a family to move in.

Plus, as much as I donated, I hated charity. I hated receiving it. I’d received it all my life. Growing up as a pastor’s kid you’re thankful for everything, the hand-me-down clothes, food on the table. I didn’t take anything for granted, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have pride.

Besides, I knew if I offered to have my parents stay with me, they’d just say no. My dad hated putting people out. It made him uncomfortable.

I leaned my head against the railing and told myself not to cry.

Dread pooled in my stomach when I realized that if they had no insurance, if they couldn’t fix the house…

I wasn’t going to be able to go to school this year or next year.

I’d managed to save ten grand over the last four years of working, but half of it had gone to get a car that actually worked.

And now I’d give it to my parents. Because they needed it more than I did, and I could go to school any time, right?

“Hey,” a voice called. “You okay?”

My head snapped up to discover Jaymeson leaning against the railing, wearing a baseball hat that looked a lot like the one Jamie Hudson wore in his picture. It seemed all of LA had the same taste.

“Yes,” I whispered, barely able to get the words out. “I’m fine.”

“So is this our first lie?” he asked softly. “As friends?”

Tension hung in the air. It was the first I’d voiced. But the entire friendship had been a lie because I would always want more.

“Maybe.” My lower lip trembled.

“Come over.”

“No, I can’t I—”