Fall (Seaside #4)(55)
Author: Rachel Van Dyken

“Stop it.” He jumped onto the bed putting a leg on either side of me, pinning me in place. “I love you. When you hurt, I hurt. I’m not leaving you, not for one second, not if they offer me a bloody billion dollar contract. They’d have to do nothing short of drugging me to get me on that plane, love.” He sighed, leaning forward so our breaths mingled. “Don’t you understand? The depth of what I feel for you? I’m not just crazy for you, I’m out of my mind, out of my depth, love. You are my life — to leave you would be like leaving a part of myself.”

Tears stung my eyes and boiled to the surface. Needing to stem them, I blinked; I couldn’t spend the rest of my life crying at every damn thing. “What happened to you?”

“I thought it was obvious,” he whispered. “You happened. It was you.”

Our mouths met. I lifted my arms as he pulled my tank top from my body.

“Thank you,” I whimpered. “Thank you for loving me.”

“It should be me, thanking you,” he said. “For not giving up on me, even when all signs pointed to me being hopeless.”

“You aren’t hopeless.” My lips grazed his. “You’re perfect.”

“That’s my line.”

“I stole it.”

He laughed.

It felt good to hear him laugh. When he laughed I wasn’t as consumed by the pain of loss — I didn’t feel as empty. I felt like I was going to be okay, as long as I had Jaymeson to hold my hand through the fire — I was going to make it.

“I’m ready.”

“Alright.” Jaymeson nodded. “Let’s get dressed, and I’ll take you back to the hospital.”

“No.” I felt myself blush. “I mean I’m… ready.” I wanted it. Wanted him, wanted him to make all the pain go away. To suck in all the darkness — and turn our situation into light.

Jaymeson’s face contorted as if he was in severe pain. “I can’t, love. Not now. I’d never forgive myself. I know that look. It’s not one of love. It’s desperation. I’ve worn that look more times than I could count. Giving yourself to me isn’t going to make the darkness go away — if anything it invites more in. Believe me when I say this moment isn’t right. You’ll know when it is, and there won’t be anything capable of stopping me from making you mine. You can count on that. Now get dressed before I decide to forget the fact that I’ve somehow managed to find my morals again.”

I sighed, not necessarily feeling rejected, maybe chastised a bit, but I had to admit I’d wanted him to consume me. I’d wanted a distraction. And that wasn’t fair to either of us.

“Okay,” I mumbled.

Jaymeson offered a soft smile and grabbed my hands, running them down the entire length of his body — all of his body. “Don’t for a second doubt that I burn for you. Day and night. Night and day. I freaking burn.”

And now my face was burning.

He released my hands and threw on his shirt, then walked out of the room, while I was torn between wanting to take a cold shower and wanting to bawl my eyes out.

I chose neither.

And opted to dress, take one more sip of wine, and walk out of the room. I had a little sister to fight for.

And with Jaymeson by my side, I truly did believe we’d win the battle… Months ago I’d painted him as the dragon. Never once did I imagine he was my shining knight the entire time.

Chapter Forty-Two

Jaymeson

My body hummed with unquenched desire. I was pretty sure that if Demetri or Alec touched me I was going to freaking throw my fist through the wall — or my body. That sounded good too.

Guilt gnawed like a poison. I shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting her — I shouldn’t feel guilty for needing her. Yet, I’d rejected her again. When did I go from taking every flipping chance I had to bed a girl?

To pressuring one to wait?

“I want to wait.” Hell, those used to be my least favorite words. All freaking four of them. And now? Now, I was the one spouting them out.

I could blame Nat’s pregnancy hormones being too close to my vicinity causing me to be overly sensitive. The truth? Maybe I’d been that guy all along. I’d just pushed him so far beneath the surface that I’d lost him.

Funny, because Pris had a way of reaching into my soul and plucking him right back out.

“You ready?” Demetri tossed me a bottle of water.

“As ever.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “Are you guys just going to hang out?”

“Yeah, we’ll stop by a bit later. It’s probably best to split up. We don’t want to cause utter chaos.”

“Must be so tough,” Alyssa said from the couch, not lifting her eyes from the magazine. “Demetri, I love you! Marry me! Make me yours!” Her voice was whiney. “Back off, bitch, he’s mine.”

Demetri smirked. “Babe, she was twelve.”

“Should have let me fight her.”

My eyebrows rose while Demetri started laughing, walking over to the couch and taking Alyssa into his arms. “Babe, she was hardly a threat.”

“She looked older.” Alyssa sniffed.

Demetri threw up his hands in a helpless gesture. “Want to marry me and make it all better?”

“I already said yes.” She glared.

“So pick a date.”

I watched their exchange with interest. It was like watching an old couple bicker — only you knew that after said arguing was over there’d be a hell of a lot of making up.

“During the second tour break.”

Demetri burst out laughing, then sobered when Alyssa didn’t join in. “Holy shit, you’re serious.”

Alyssa looked back at her magazine.

“Babe, that’s in four weeks.”

“Twenty-eight days…” She sighed. “What about this dress?” She pointed to a dress that looked more like lingerie. I covered my smile with my hand as Demetri groaned out loud.

“Woman, you’ll be the death of me.”

“I’ll wear heels.”

“Four weeks it is.” He clapped his hands. ”But cover up, babe. We aren’t running a brothel.”

Her response was to smack him in the head with a magazine, and then I saw arms flying, legs wrapping, some kissing, heard some disturbing moans, and yeah, by then I just turned my head and stared at the door waiting for Pris to emerge.

“Whoa.” Alec coughed coming up from behind me. “They need to hurry up and get married before they have a child out of wedlock.”