First Debt

Needle&Thread: You want something real? I’ve only come once in my life, and it was just a few days ago.

It seemed like a small confession, but it was huge after all my fibbing of releases and kinky messages.

Kite007: How is that even possible? What was with all the other fucking releases you had? I thought you were a master at self-pleasure.

Needle&Thread: You’re asking questions that will lead to finding out who I am. Are you ready for that, Kite? Truly? No turning back once you do.

Radio silence.

Typical.

He’d run again.

My fingers hovered over the keys, determined not to end this. Not when we were so close to admitting this charade.

Needle&Thread: I could continue pretending I’m the masturbating minx you think I am or be honest with you. Again, your choice.

I rolled my eyes. He’s a Hawk. Maybe he already knew everything about me? They’d probably had my family under surveillance for years. Maybe that was the whole reason why Kes messaged me on a wrong number—to drip-feed Jethro information on how pathetic and hopeless I was.

I slumped against my pillows. It made sense. And hurt far too much.

Kite007: Masturbating minx? I like that title.

My eyes flared; my stomach twisted with eagerness.

Kite007: I need to know more. Stick to the subject and give me the truth. Nothing more. Nothing less. What were you doing when you said you came?

My heart raced.

Needle&Thread: Releases for me were found either on my treadmill or from working until my brain was numb.

Five minutes passed.

Kite007: And the only time you came? How did that happen?

As if you don’t know.

Suddenly, I was over it all. Over the fibs, the half-truths, the veiled secrets. He knew how it happened. He’d watched his damn brother stick his tongue between my legs and make me combust.

Needle&Thread: I came with the tongue of my enemy between my legs. He drove me so damn high and hard that I gave him a piece of myself no one else ever had, and he used it as a weapon against me. There, you happy?

My chest rose and fell. Arguing via faceless messages wasn’t enough. I wanted to strike and hurt and scream.

Kite007: If you were here with me, I’d give you your second release. I’d finger you until you were soaking, then I’d do what I’ve wanted to fucking do since I set eyes on you.

My mouth went terribly dry.

Needle&Thread: What have you wanted to do?

Kite007: I want to feel how tight you are. I want to experience your wet heat as I fill you. I want to give you my cock, Needle. Would you let me?

Oh, my God. My body turned boneless with desire.

Another message from a different sender arrived.

Textile: Nila? I understand why you haven’t replied to me, but I thought you should know that V and I are closer to figuring a way to end this ridiculous nightmare. Don’t lose hope, sweetheart. I love you so much.

Oh, bad timing, father. Seriously bad timing.

My lust turned to smouldering rage.

Ridiculous? He thought this was ridiculous? This debt that killed my mother and all the firstborn women in my family tree was ridiculous?

I laughed at his choice of words. This wasn’t ridiculous; it was insane.

Needle&Thread: Father, you let them take me. You knew all along they were coming, yet you did nothing to protect me. You handed me over like a fattened calf with no tears or violence. How can you say you’re coming for me? How can you say you love me? I’m not losing hope. I’m building my own brand of hope, and for the first time in my life, it doesn’t hinge on you. Leave me the hell alone.

I shook hard when I pressed send. I’d never spoken to my father that way before. Never been so disrespectful. It made me feel sick but also free. Free from the fear of disappointing him.

Because he’d disappointed me first.

Kite007: Would you let me fuck you? Would you break the rules and give me what I need so fucking much?

My mind swarmed with images of sleeping with Kestrel, but try as I might, all I could see was Jethro. All I could feel was Jethro. All I wanted was Jethro.

Shit.

I wanted to throw my damn phone against the wall.

Needle&Thread: Answer me one question before I give you an answer.

Kite007: What?

Taking a deep breath, I typed:

Needle&Thread: Would you kiss me first? Or is that against the rules?

A minute. Then two.

Kite007: I wouldn’t just kiss you. I would hold your cheeks and worship your mouth. I would devour your lips and make drunken love to your tongue. I would fucking inhale you, so you would live forever in my lungs.

I couldn’t move.

Yet another difference between the Hawk brothers. One would kiss me, and one went out of his way to avoid it. One would adore me until the day of my death, and one would probably dance upon my grave because it meant his obligations were complete.

My heart crumbled into dust.

I couldn’t—I couldn’t do this anymore.

Turning my phone around, I undid the case, tore the battery out, and dumped the dismantled device into the drawer of the bedside table.

I didn’t care about replying.

I didn’t care if my silence hurt his feelings.

All I cared about was nursing the cyclonic pain inside me.

And trying to forget all about Jethro fucking Hawk.

The next morning, I was showered and clothed in a black maxi dress with a sequined orchid on the chest and purple ballet slippers.

I needed some space and planned to go for a walk around the estate. I still hadn’t turned my phone on and had no desire to do so. It was still in pieces in the drawer. For now, I didn’t care about the outside world or even Kite’s reply.

I didn’t care.

It was liberating.

Sitting on the end of my bed, I quickly plaited my hair and draped the long rope over my shoulder.

My head wrenched up as the door to my room slammed open.

“What the—”

Jethro stood breathing hard in the doorway. My cold-hearted nemesis wore black jeans and a grey t-shirt—seriously, didn’t he own any other colours?

“Where do you think you’re going?” His voice was gravel and granite and ice.

I stood up, planting my hands on my hips. “Good morning to you, too. If you must know, master, it’s time for my walk. I’m a good little pet, you see. Making sure I have my daily exercise.”

I knew I played with fire, or ice as the case might be, but I really didn’t give a damn.

The previous night in his office had broken something inside me and Kes/Kite had finished me off with talks of wanting me.

I couldn’t decipher my panic last night when Kite said he would kiss me—my sudden terror hadn’t made sense. But now it did.