First Debt

I couldn’t help it.

She was a fucking drug.

Grabbing the diamond collar, I shoved her hard. Toppling from her knees, her nails scraped my ribcage as she fell backward on the bed. The moment her ballerina legs spread, I pounced.

I couldn’t resist anymore—it was futile.

Ripping my shirt off my shoulders, I kneeled on the bed and grabbed her hips to drag her body beneath mine. Pressing myself over her, we both shuddered in delight.

Her belly fluttered like a dying creature; while her heart pounded so hard, it rearranged my own beat.

I’d never enjoyed kissing anyone as much as I enjoyed kissing Nila. I felt her tongue in my mouth but felt it stronger on my cock. I’d never been high on the taste of another person. It wasn’t just chemistry sparking between us or the battle of willpowers or even the knowledge of how this would all end.

It was different, and I had no urge to put a description on it. The moment I knew what it was, was the moment I would have to run from it.

Her tongue stroked slow and inviting with mine, dancing like liquid silk.

My hand fell between her legs. The jeans she wore were my worst enemy as I attacked the button and zipper.

She giggled against my mouth, shoving my fumbling fingers away to release it with one twist of a single hand. “Now you can get rid of them.”

My stomach clenched at the need in her voice. “Thank fuck for that.” Rolling off her, I yanked the offending material away and bent my head over her hip to tear at the black lace knickers she wore. Ripping them off, a groan echoed in my chest.

“Hey! You keep doing that and I won’t have any underwear left.”

My cock lurched at the thought of her spending the rest of her days walking around with nothing on beneath her fancy skirts and dresses. I liked the idea way too much.

An image of her dressed in that gorgeous black and feather gown when I’d stolen her from Milan filled my mind. I wished I’d brought it with us, instead of leaving it on the sidewalk, tattered and dirty. Nila was the type of beauty who deserved to wear decadence every day.

I couldn’t deny I liked seeing her in shorts and regular clothing, but there was something overwhelmingly sexy about a woman in corsets and garters.

Fuck, stop thinking about that.

I was hard enough to kill someone with the weapon in my trousers; I didn’t want to come before I’d even filled her.

Her hands landed on my belt buckle. I blinked as she magically undid both my belt and jeans. With feisty hands, she shoved them, along with my boxer-briefs, down my thighs.

I groaned as her fingers latched around my cock.

The fire she conjured in me was too fucking strong. My psyche did what it had been trained to do and retreated instantly, protecting itself, hiding the truth.

I went frigid.

Nila paused, panting. “What—what’s wrong?”

Everything.

“Nothing.” I pulled back, sitting up and swinging my legs over the edge of the bed.

This is so bloody dangerous. You have to stop it.

I sucked in a breath as Nila’s graceful arms wrapped around my neck, pressing her now naked breasts against my back. The swell of soft flesh and pinpricks of hard nipples almost undid me.

I curled my hands, drawing blood as I bit hard on my lower lip. “Let me go.”

“No.”

A small flare of anger shot through my blood. “Christ, woman.”

“Nila. My name is Nila.” She pressed a kiss on my shoulder. “Try it…it won’t kill you.”

You’re wrong. You’re already killing me.

“Jethro—if you’re pulling away, then you should know if you walk out that door and leave me for days on end…we’re done.”

The very word implying I would never be allowed back inside her welcoming body was blasphemy. My anger increased, thickening my blood. “You’re forgetting that you’re mine to do with as I see fit.”

“I’m yours to torment, I agree. But somehow I think your father wouldn’t be pleased with us doing this.” Her lips grazed my shoulders again. “You can’t lie about that. That’s why you told me to keep it a secret.”

I slumped forward, trying to dislodge her hold.

Silence fell awkwardly between us. I battled with doing the right thing by leaving and the wrong thing by spinning around and thrusting my aching cock inside her.

Nila murmured against my skin. “Sex is meant to strip us back. It’s meant to show the truth of what we keep hidden. Don’t be afraid of something that could ultimately save you.”

My heart froze at the thought of revealing my innermost secrets.

I laughed coldly. “I don’t want saving, Ms. Weaver. And sex is the opposite. It’s a projection of nothing more than animalistic need.”

“You don’t believe that. Not what we have.”

“What we have is so far out of my comfort range, I’m hanging on by a fucking thread.”

What. The. Fuck?

I snapped my lips closed at the awful confession.

Nila stiffened, her heartbeat tapping against my back. “See, you can be honest when you don’t censor yourself.”

I sighed. “You want honesty? Fine. I’m used to living my life with an iron fist of control. You undermine that control. I can’t let that happen. I don’t handle things well when I’m not…”

“Cold.”

I nodded. “I’ll admit that you’ve gotten under my skin in a way I didn’t think was possible. I’m feeling things I’ve never—” I cut myself off. What the hell was I saying? I sounded like a fucking pussy. “I won’t deny, now that I’ve had you, that I want you again and again and fuck, I doubt I’ll ever want to stop, but it has to stop.”

It has to stop before I do something worse.

Nila pulled away, moving to sit beside me. “Something this good shouldn’t have to end, Jethro. Screw family. Screw the debts. We want each other. Let’s just give in to that and forget about tomorrow.”

If only it was that easy. If only we had unlimited tomorrows.

But we don’t.

“What—what do you want from me, Jethro? You’ve taken everything—either by force or by allowing me small glimpses of who you are. What are you so afraid of?” Her voice lowered to a curse. “What do you want?”

I want…I want…

Fuck, I don’t know what I want.

My body ached with frustration, confusion, and need. How did this go from sex to revelations?

Everything I’d ever wanted in my life had turned me into this…mess.