Free Fall (Elite Force #4)(39)
Author: Catherine Mann

Holy crap. The dog from earlier was tucked under there asleep.

The kid looked like Tom Hanks from the actor’s early days, with curls and an aw-gosh-golly attitude. He waved a hand. “It’s all cleared and official, ma’am. Some folks at the base arranged the paperwork since they care about the dog so much. No worries about the military getting their knickers in a twist.”

“Fang,” she reached to pat the dog’s belly, “somehow I don’t think anyone’s going to be riding your ass about the mutt today.”

“Guess not.” Fang scratched his shoulder under the seat harness. “A group in the States sponsored the dog a while ago and since we were headed out, the dog will be swapping over to another plane in Mogadishu. He’ll be gone before…” He swallowed hard. “I mean, like, if the worst happens. The dog will be safe.”

“Fang, you’re going to be okay,” she said with a total conviction she knew he needed to hear. “I’ve crunched the numbers. I’m the queen of logic, remember?”

He nodded and grinned like a grateful kid before closing his eyes.

The dog scrabbled across the grated floor and tucked in beside Jose. His hand slid down on top of the animal’s head and right away she thought of Jose’s old commander, the one he’d told her married a lady who worked with therapy dogs for veterans under stress. She could totally imagine how that would work right now.

In fact, she could envision a lot at the moment, that tenderness in Jose that had so drawn her. How could he not recognize that in himself? The part of him meant to nurture…

“Stella,” Jose said softly without opening his eyes, just leaning closer to her where no one could hear them, “just because I like dogs doesn’t mean I’m primed for domestic bliss. And don’t deny you were thinking it.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to. I can feel your thoughts, lady.”

Didn’t that just make her point? They were so in tune with each other, it was wrong that he kept denying what they could have together. “You’re petting a dog. It’s like one of those pictures circling around the Internet of soldiers with pups. It’s heart-tugging, all right?”

“Okay. I just don’t want you to make too much of it. Yeah, I’m human and the mutt is comforting. You’ve been kidnapped. You got shot at earlier today. You could get shot at again. I’m rattled, but I’ll pull it together before we land.”

“I know you will. I have complete faith in your ability to do your job.”

“Too bad that confidence in me didn’t carry over into the relationship department.”

His voice rumbled so lowly it almost blended in with the drone of aircraft engines. But she caught every word all the same. His hand slid away from the dog and the mutt inched on to the next available hand… on to Bubbles, who looked less than pleased to have company, especially fuzzy company. The fuzzy-phobic PJ unbuckled from his seat and guided the pup back to the crate strapped down, although Bubbles chose to sit beside the dog. Softie.

Stella glanced away and back to Jose. Frustration sparked inside her over him laying the whole breakup at her feet. She looked around at the others and they were catching their own catnaps or far enough away where they wouldn’t overhear. A part of her winced at having such an intense conversation when they were anything other than alone, but their life was anything other than normal or convenient. They had to grasp moments when they could.

“Jose, you’re the one who didn’t want me to settle down with a couple of rug rats.”

His eyes crinkled at the corner with one of those sad smiles. “Like you would ever settle down.”

“If I had kids, I would make changes to my life.” And she meant it. “I want to be there for my children. I don’t want them to grow up like I did, not if I can help it.”

“Moot point for us anyway.”

She flinched, reality a cold freakin’ splash of water. “We could all die today.”

“That’s not what I meant, Mary Sunshine.” He bumped his knee against hers.

“But it’s true. The risk here is off the charts.”

He glanced over at the mutt in the crate as if he wanted to haul the dog back out. “I can’t walk into missions thinking that way.”

“You approach every mission thinking that way. That others may live. Right?”

He sat up straighter. “You’re afraid I’m going to check out on you.”

“Is it so wrong to worry you could be killed, living life with that kind of reckless approach?”

“I just didn’t expect that from you.” He searched her eyes, his forehead furrowed. “I thought you would understand. You signed on for the same thing. Who did you expect to fall for when you hang out with guys like me all the time?”

His words stung, making her sound foolish when she wasn’t. She’d just had a plan and he arrived too early. “You make it sound so analytical.”

“You’re the one who’s logical,” he reminded her gently.

She sagged back with a sigh. “Apparently not about falling in love.”

“You love me?”

He studied her warily, making her all too aware of the pain they’d both felt over their breakup.

“I did.”

His hand rested on top of hers gently, but his jaw was hard and set. “I still do.”

Oh God, he was breaking her heart here. “That’s not fair.” She squeezed his fingers. “Especially not now with what we’re about to face.”

“Nothing between us has been fair.” He pulled his hand free, crossed his arms over his chest, and went back to sleep.

Four breaths later, his chest rose and fell evenly, his body lanky and relaxed as if they hadn’t just torn each other’s hearts out again, damn it. She ached to wrap her arms around the comfort of that goofy looking dog, but surprisingly Bubbles was scratching the mutt’s muzzle through the mesh grating.

She needed to find peace, resolution, and she needed to find it fast. They would be landing shortly, then go through another debrief with Smith and his intel comrades. Even now, intelligence organizations were following up, gathering data through satellites and drones and human assets on the ground. Those tasked with detail tomorrow would be forced to sleep tonight, to block out the world and recharge their bodies for whatever waited for them when the vice president’s wife landed to greet a welcoming crowd of at least a couple hundred. Thousands more gathered outside the airport’s secured perimeter.