Hawke

That’s what I should have done, but honestly, it wouldn’t have made me feel better. Just made Hawke feel shittier, so I let it go.

Again.

“Have you heard from him?” my dad asks quietly as he pulls a baking pan from the bottom cupboard.

My head jerks up in surprise. My dad and I haven’t really talked about Hawke since we returned. I didn’t hide the truth of what happened. I told him I laid my heart out there, but Hawke just wasn’t in the same place that I was. I don’t think my father necessarily agreed with the way I just gave up, but he understood how badly I was hurt and thus supported my decision to leave the Cold Fury.

“Well, have you?” he presses.

My face drops back down to the floor so I have time to blink away the threatening tears. “Nope. Not a word.”

“Maybe you should reach out to him,” he suggests gently. “I mean…you two didn’t really talk much about it. You sort of made a unilateral decision to leave.”

“It was the right decision,” I protest angrily. “I can’t be with someone I love who doesn’t love me back.”

My dad’s lips press into a sympathetic smile. His eyes are sad for his daughter. “Yeah, I know. I just thought…well, I just thought you two were it for each other, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” I agree as I walk up to my dad. I place my hands on his shoulders and look him dead in the eye. “But I’ll be okay. Given time, it will all be fine.”

“Yoo-hoo,” I hear called out from the front of the house as the front door opens.

“Back here, Avery,” I call back. I can hear Piper jump from my bed, her nails clicking on the hardwood and then a distinctive oomph as I imagine Piper just jumped on Avery.

“Damn beast of a dog,” Avery says affectionately, and then she’s walking into the kitchen with Piper hot on her tail. While I don’t question Piper’s loyalty to me, there’s no doubt she loves the woman who fed and cared for her the past few months.

“Hello, hello,” Avery says as she pulls her coat and hat off, throwing them on the butcher-block island. Her gloves follow, then she’s giving me a quick hug before moving on to my dad. With her arms wrapped around him, she says, “How are you, my big teddy bear?”

Dad laughs, squeezes her back, and says, “Got a Christmas tree.”

“So I saw,” Avery says before shooting a wink at me. “It’s so big you could build a tree house in it.”

“We’re having pork roast tonight if you want to come eat with us and help decorate,” my dad offers.

“I can’t,” Avery says. “My parents invited us over for dinner tonight. Oliver and Nina too. My mom said she had a surprise for us, so you know I’m not about to pass that up.”

“She probably just wants to give you her old china set or something,” I remark dryly. Avery’s mom and dad have decided to retire down to Florida after Christmas and they are unloading all of their personal effects on the kids.

“I’ll take it,” Avery says as she opens the refrigerator and roots around, coming out with a Diet Coke. “Rob and I only got enough of our china pattern as wedding presents to feed one and a half of us.”

“Maybe I’ll buy you a piece of china then for Christmas,” my dad muses as he unwraps the pork roast.

“Don’t you dare,” Avery says aghast. “I much prefer jewelry.”

I roll my eyes and dad laughs. “Duly noted, Av.”

My dad opens the oven door and goes to put the roast in. I don’t say a word, but Avery doesn’t hold her tongue. “Dave…you know you have to preheat the oven first, right?”

My dad straightens and looks at her with confusion. “I was just going to turn it on now.”

Avery clucks her tongue, steps forward, and removes the pan from his hands. “Dear, dear Dave…you poor noncooking fool. And you can’t just put that in without seasoning. Let me show you how to do it.”

“And with that,” I say, taking my cue to make myself scarce, “I’m going to take Piper for a walk.”

They both ignore me, Avery already reaching into the spice rack and giving a lecture to Dave on the proper way to prepare a roast.

Chapter 27

Hawke

“Dinner should be ready in about ten minutes,” Oliver’s mom, Carly, calls out from the kitchen. “We’ll eat as soon as Avery, Rob, and Thomas get here.”

The smell of Carly’s poutine râpée tantalizes me and my stomach rumbles. It alone makes this hasty spur-of-the-moment trip to visit well worth the hassle.

“Come on, man,” Oliver says as he gets up from the couch where we were both sipping on beers. His dad doesn’t spare us a glance, preferring to watch TV stretched back in his recliner. Oliver’s wife, Nina, who is very lovely and also a handful, is helping Carly in the kitchen. “I need a smoke.”

I follow Oliver out the front door, both of us grabbing our coats from the rack in the entryway. We step out onto the stoop lit by a single yellow bulb and he lights up.

“Nasty habit, dude,” I say as I flick my eyes to the cigarette.

“Yeah, so is scratching my balls, but you don’t see me giving that up anytime soon, do you?” he says, and then proceeds to show me just such a move.

I laugh and shake my head, leaning back against the iron porch rail that trails down the steps. “What Nina sees in you is beyond me.”

“It’s true love,” is all Oliver says as he takes another drag. Then he gives me a grin. “Dude…I can’t believe you just showed up.”

“I had some time,” I say with a shrug. “And a visit with your parents is long overdue.”

I really shouldn’t have taken the time to come here. The Cold Fury just finished an afternoon game in Ottawa and we play Montreal day after next. That gave me a very small window of opportunity to hop a regional jet here so I could visit my old stomping grounds.

And perhaps a chance meeting with Vale?

Oh, who am I fucking kidding? As much as I want to visit with Oliver and the gang, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pulled here by Vale. I can barely seem to go two minutes without thinking about her. Obsessing about her.

Missing her.

So fucking much it almost makes me sick to my stomach.

Oliver nods and takes another drag, looking out over the yard. I hesitate a moment, then finally take a deep breath. Scratching my hand through my hair, I ask, “How is she?”

His head snaps my way and his eyebrows raise up in surprise. “Who? Vale?”

“Well who else?” I snap at him. “Of course Vale.”

Oliver gives me an appraising smile, takes another drag, and exhales slowly. “I haven’t seen her much. Avery sees her almost every day.”

“And?” I prompt.

“And what?” he plays stupid, and I think he’s enjoying this.

“How is she doing?” I grit out.

“Oh,” Oliver says with mock sudden awareness. “You mean, is she dying of a broken heart? Or maybe you want to know if she’s dating someone? I heard Jeff Conklin over at the hardware store was going to ask her out. He seemed a bit hesitant at first, but I told him to go for it. Vale’s as single as they come, right?”

Jeff Conklin? You got to be fucking kidding me. That douche is nowhere good enough for the likes of Vale. We played hockey together for the Oilers but he was a hack. Got cut after the second year and stayed behind in Sydney trying to capitalize on his brief fame and glory with the team. Oliver told me he’s been married and divorced twice since then.