Healed (Scarred #2)(21)
Author: J.S. Cooper

“So there you have it,” he laughed roughly. “I’m really your second best.”

“No Luke, you’re not. You don’t understand,” I cried out, trying to get him to understand. “Yes, I thought I loved Bryce. I’ve been infatuated with him since high school but I don’t really know him. I was in love with a dream. You are the guy for me, Luke. You are better than my dreams. I just didn’t realize it.”

“But you realize it now Bryce cheated on you?”

“Yes. No. I mean, that’s not what I mean. His cheating made me really examine my feelings and what I wanted out of life. Who I wanted.”

“Forgive me, Lexi, but it still makes me feel like second best.”

“You told me you weren’t upset,” I shouted at him. “You told me you didn’t care that I had slept with Bryce.”

“It’s not about you f**king him, Lexi. It’s about us. Why can’t there be an explanation for an us that doesn’t involve him?”

“Luke, please.” I felt the tears running down my face, and my breath came in little spurts. These are the ugly sort of tears, the ones that give you splotchy marks and weird breathing. The kind that you don’t want others to see.

“What do you want me to say, Lexi?” He shook his head. “I can’t make your guilt and your pain go away. And neither can Bryce. None of us can fix you, Lexi. We can cover a hole, but eventually that cover is going to fall off. You have to fix yourself.”

“I don’t need fixing!” I screamed. “I’m perfectly fine.” I fell to his bed, sobbing into the sheets.

“No, Lexi. No you’re not.” He sat next to me and rubbed my back. “Maybe that’s why you and Bryce were both drawn to each other. You both have scars deeper than the eyes sight. But you’re going about it wrong. No one else can heal those scars, Lexi, only you can.”

I turned around slowly then and looked at him through tear-drenched eyes. “That’s where you’re wrong, Luke. Love can heal all scars.”

“That’s a fairytale, Lexi. Why can’t you grow up? Love can’t fix everything. No one is perfect.”

“No one is perfect, Luke but I’m not looking for perfection. I love you because of everything you are. Who you are. I’ve always loved you. It just took a kick in the head to show me.”

“Lexi, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He looked worried and I leaned over and kissed him.

“You don’t get it, do you, Luke? You’re not the problem. You will never be the problem.” I laughed through my tears. “Though that may not always be true. I’ve got some issues. I know that. I’ve never really gotten over some things related to my dad, but I don’t need to hide in my daydreams any more. You’re the most honest, wonderful human being I’ve ever met in my life and you are always here for me. You say love can’t fix everything, but I’m here to tell you that that’s not true. Your love has healed me. It has helped me to be confident and true to myself. My journey’s not over. No, it’s just beginning. But I am confident that I can complete it because I have you in my life.”

“You must really love me.” He half smiled and I hit him in the arm.

“You’re a goof, Luke Bryan.”

“Do you love me enough to watch ‘Madea Goes to Jail’ right now?”

“Are you joking me?” I laugh. “You are the only white guy, no scratch that, the only guy in the world who wants to watch Madea.”

“She’s funny,” he laughs. “And if you pay attention, she has a lot of good wisdom.”

“I’m not getting my wisdom from a man dressed as a woman.”

“But you will from a butterfly?” He cocked his head and I pushed him onto the bed before slowly getting on top of him.

“I’ll have you know that butterflies say the most incredible things.”

“Like?”

“Well,” I grinned at him and unbuckled his jeans. “I can’t do two things at once.”

“Lexi, you know that I’m always here for you right? You don’t have to ever hide anything from me.”

“I know and I feel the same.” I pulled his pants down and I see that he is ready for what I have planned.

“I want you to know that I understand if there are things you can’t tell me.” He gasped as I pulled his boxers down and took him in my hands.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” He grunts and lies back, allowing me to pleasure him in a way I had never known I would enjoy so much before.

***

Sex makes you sleepy. I know, I know, that’s something I should have known from the movies or something. But as I stretched and reached out for Luke, I realized that he wasn’t in the bed. I heard him whispering and I lay still, trying to hear what he was saying.

“Hey, yeah I saw Bryce at the hospital,” he sighed. “I see. Yeah, I thought he might be trying to plan something like that. You didn’t tell him anything, did you?” I saw him peak around the room and I closed my eyes quickly. “I don’t want anyone to know. I can’t do that, you know that. I think you should move forward. Okay. I’ll come to see you next week.” He hung up the phone quickly as my mind was scrambling. Why had he said that he had seen Bryce at the hospital? I thought he had seen him at a café or shop? Why would he lie to me?

I felt my heart beating fast and I turned over as I felt him get into bed with me. He curled up next to me and I felt his arm come around my waist to fondle my breast. He moved up against me and spooned me and my body betrayed me by pushing back into him. I lay in his arms, wondering if I truly knew who he was. Who had he been talking to?

I must have fallen asleep again, because I woke up a few hours later to the sounds of the TV.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” Luke grinned at me. “Did I wake you up?”

“No,” I yawned.

“What do you want to do?”

“I think I should go home.” I averted my eyes and slid out of the bed. “My mom’s most probably wondering where I am.”

“Can’t you stay?”

“I stayed over last night.” I pulled on my tee shirt quickly and he held up my bra.

“Going braless?” He licked his lips.

“Well I’m just going next door.”

“You can go braless with me at any time.” He jumped up and pulled me towards him.