Healed (Scarred #2)(24)
Author: J.S. Cooper

“You mean lie?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, even if to protect my feelings. I feel like Lexi would have told me I could do anything.”

“I bet she would have.”

“But it’s not true. And it’s a lot of responsibility to live up to.”

“What is?” She took a sip of her drink and I watched as her tongue darted in and out of her mouth as she sipped. Look away, Bryce, I lectured myself, internally. What was I doing? I was not attracted to Anna. I could not let this situation become even more complicated than it was.

“Being the perfect guy. It’s a nice label. But it’s a hell of a lot to live up to.”

“I don’t think anyone thinks you’re the perfect guy anymore, Bryce.” She laughed and I felt like she had slapped me in the face.

“I can be a good guy.”

“I’m sure.” She smiled. “Every guy can be good.”

“You don’t think so?”

“I don’t know.” She sighed. “Life is never what we think it’s going to be. And neither are people.”

“You know, Anna, you’re a lot more different than I thought you were as well.”

“Like you ever thought of me before.”

“Sure I have.” I lied, not wanting to make her feel bad.

“No, no you haven’t.” She gave me a half smile. “And that’s okay. Maybe I never wanted to be noticed. I didn’t want to be the poor kid with the dead mom.”

“I’m the poor kid with the dead mom now.”

“Oh Bryce, I’m so sorry.” Her face collapsed as she realized what she had said.

“It’s okay.” And in my heart it was. “I like you, Anna.”

“I like you too, Bryce.”

“Maybe we can go for another shake again soon?”

“I don’t think so.” She shook her head and sighed and I felt a pang of regret at her words. “I don’t want to do this to Lexi. No matter what happens to our friendship.”

“We’re just hanging out.”

“I’d like you to take me home, please.” She stood up and I had an overwhelming urge to beg her to stay with me. “Oh and Bryce, I think you’ll make a fine big brother or dad. You’re a good guy.”

“You’re just saying that ’cos you want a ride home.”

“Maybe.” She laughed and put her arm through mine as we walked out of the restaurant and to my car. “And maybe I think that you’re just a sheep in wolf’s clothing.”

“You say the sweetest things.” I laughed and we drove in silence back to her home. I drove slowly, not wanting to say goodbye. As we got closer to her home, I felt myself feeling emptier and emptier inside.

“Thanks for driving me home.” She looked into my eyes as she took off her seatbelt. “I had a good evening.” She was nearly out of the car when I pulled her towards me.

“Wait.” I grabbed her arm and she looked up at me curiously. I tilted my head down and kissed her urgently. She kissed me back, passionately and I’m surprised at our sexual chemistry. It hadn’t felt like this the night I had been wasted and out of my mind. I felt bereft when she pulled away from me and left my car. I sat there, watching her walk away and I wanted to get out and run up to her. But I knew there’s nothing I could say to make this alright.

I sighed as my phone rang and I was sure it was my dad, calling to discuss the funeral. I was surprised to see Lexi’s name on the screen. I felt a slight dread as I answered the phone. I was so confused about everything.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Her voice was soft. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” I sighed. “I’m sorry to drop that bomb on you. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It’s okay. I understand why you said it.”

“We should talk.”

“Yeah. I think we should talk.” She sounded worried and I felt my breath catch. I couldn’t end it now. Not after everything she’s done for me. Not after she’s loved me soo long. I knew in my heart of hearts that she wasn’t the one. She had made me believe in myself again, but someone else was winning my heart. But I wasn’t going to go back on my word now. I owed her that much. I would stay with her. I would be the man that she needed me to be because that was what I was. I was a man.

Chapter 9

Lexi

I leafed through Bryce’s letters after we got off the phone. It seemed like it had been in another universe when they had meant so much to me. It seemed like a dream world and I had woken up. I was now in my real life and everything felt more real and rawer. I thought that finding true love would heal every hurt in my life. But it hadn’t. I still felt slightly empty inside. I knew it was because of the conversation I’d heard. I didn’t know whom Luke was whispering to, or what it was about, but I knew there was something he wasn’t telling me. That one, one-sided phone call had crushed me. I had been flying high until that moment and now I felt low.

I felt even lower now that I had spoken to Bryce. What sort of person would I be if I were to meet up with him and dump him after his mother had died? I couldn’t be that person. I was all he had left. He loved me. I didn’t know how to tell him that I didn’t feel the same way. Not after everything. Maybe I wasn’t meant to find love.

The man I loved was lying to me. I never thought Luke would lie to me. Or hide things from me. I didn’t want him to throw his life away either. His comments about not going to Boston because of me really distressed me. In another age I would have seen it as the ultimate in love. But now I saw it in a different light. I didn’t want to be the one who was responsible for him not following his dream. But I also knew that I didn’t want to move to Boston.

“Lexi, can I come in?” My mom opened the door before waiting for me to answer.

“What’s up, Mom?”

“I met someone,” she giggled, happily.

“Okay and what about it?” I sighed. Here was another relationship that was going to end in tears and heartache for my mother, I thought.

“He wants to marry me.”

“What?” I shrieked in shock. “How long have you known this guy?”

“He gave me a ring.” She pushed her hand towards my face and a huge diamond on her finger blinded my eyes.

“Mom, I didn’t even know you were dating someone. What’s going on here?”