Healed (Scarred #2)(3)
Author: J.S. Cooper

“So you’re with Bryce?” Her words cut me like a knife and jolted me from my haziness.

“Yeah. He’s with me. We’re going to the hospital.” My voice was wrought with emotion. For some reason I felt guilty for being with Bryce, while Luke was at the hospital.

“I see.”

“Do you want a ride to the hospital? We could drop by and pick you up.” I looked at Bryce to make sure it was okay and I didn’t want to ask his father. He is looking at me with a slight frown.

“No, I’ll ask my dad.” And, with that, Anna hung up. I knew something was wrong, but I wasn’t sure what.

“Anna’s going to meet us at the hospital.” I paused and played with my fingers and turned to look at Bryce. “She sounded funny though. I don’t know what’s up with her. But she was acting weird. Maybe it was a mistake to call her.” My head was pounding even harder now and I rubbed my temples with my fingertips, trying to massage the dull throbbing pain away.

“Then why did you call her?” Bryce sounded annoyed.

“She’s one of my best friends, Bryce.” I looked at him with a frown. “Of course I’m going to call her.”

“Sorry.” He looked away from me.

“Bryce is going through a lot right now, Lexi. Maybe you can cut him some slack.” The Mayor looked at me briefly and it took everything I had to ignore his words. I felt my heart start to tremble as he pulled into the hospital parking lot and I closed my eyes to ignore my hatred of him and started to pray.

“Please, dear God, please don’t let Luke be dead. Please God. Please.” I placed my face down to my hands and pleaded tearfully.

“Lexi, he may already dead.” Bryce opened the door for me and I can see the worry in his eyes. “Are you going to be okay, Lexi?”

“I don’t know if Luke Bryan is the one who died.” The Mayor’s voice is firm and soft but to me his voice sounds like the wails of a banshee. I wanted to put my fingers in my ears so that I could ignore him but, instead, I overpower them both with my screams.

“What do you think, Bryce? Would you be okay?” I pulled away from him and ran into the hospital. “Where is Luke Bryan? Where is Luke Bryan?” I shouted at the nurse sitting at the front. She looked up at me with a sigh. I suppose she was used to people getting anxious and rude when they came into the hospital.

“What is he in for, mam?” She spoke slowly and patiently. I fixated on her uniform; she was wearing a top with yellow smiley suns on it. What sort of uniform is that? I thought to myself. Did she really think that a flowery top was going to make families feel better when their loved ones died?

“He’s dead!” I cried out, wanting to slap her in the face for being so calm. Why wasn’t she reacting? Why wasn’t anyone feeling the same pain and frustration that I was?

“Lexi.” Bryce was next to me; I felt his arm around my shoulder. I shook him off of me and he looked at me with a surprised and hurt expression. It seemed to me that he didn’t understand how much Luke meant to me and how guilty I felt. If I had just spent the day with him, maybe he wouldn’t be dead.

“Where is Luke?” I looked at the nurse with a pleading expression.

“Mam, if you are talking about Luke Bryan, he’s on the third floor … but, mam…” she stood up and called to me as I went running towards the elevators. There was nothing else I wanted to hear from her.

“Lexi wait up,” Bryce called after me as I ran into the elevator and I sighed as I pressed the button to keep the doors open for him. “Lexi, you need to relax. Please.” He grabbed my hands and pulled me in close to him. “You need to breathe; please, just breathe.”

“I can’t breathe, Bryce.” I felt claustrophobic and closed my eyes. “I feel like the world has just stopped but, for some reason, I’m still alive, still seeing, still feeling, still breathing. But inside I feel dead.”

“That’s a normal feeling, Lexi.” He kissed my forehead and whispered in my ear. “When Eddie died, I felt like I had been transported to a far away planet and had been left there all on my own. I know how you feel, Lexi. Please let me be here for you.”

I opened my eyes and saw the tenderness in his, they were gazing into me as if trying to repair my soul. For a second, we were one. We both understood the pain and inner turmoil one experiences when a loved one dies. I knew that he was a kindred spirit and that he cared, he truly cared about me. More than I would have ever believed before. More than I would have ever hoped for.

“Thank you, Bryce.” I spoke softly and squeezed his hand. I needed him to know that I wasn’t pushing him away. I just needed this time to be by myself, to come to terms with the grief that was consuming me and burning a fire in my soul.

“I’m looking for Luke Bryan.” I ran up to a doctor who was walking past me. “Please, please, tell me where he is.”

He looked at me with a funny expression and pointed down the hallway. “Go past the desk, look in the third door on the right; I think he’s in there.”

“Okay. Thank you.” I started running down the hall, but stopped when I got to the desk. I was scared. I didn’t want to go to the room. I wanted to postpone the moment. I didn’t want to accept that he was dead. Maybe if I just went home, I could pretend, pretend that he had just gone on a trip to Boston and that he would be back. I could wait for him to return. Maybe, if I prayed hard and long enough, he would come back. Maybe it was time for me to start believing in miracles. I turned around, suddenly feeling calm and grabbed Bryce’s hand.

“We can go.” I smiled at him. I felt as if I were walking on air.

“What’s going on, Lexi? You haven’t been in the room as yet?” He frowned at me and I reached over and rubbed his temples.

“You must stop frowning, Luke.”

“I’m Bryce.”

“Oh, sorry.” I bit my lip. “Shall we go and get a shake?”

“Don’t you want to see Luke?” Bryce came to a halt.

“I don’t want to see.” My eyes widened in fear. “I don’t want to see him. Please.”

“Lexi…” Bryce’s voice trailed off as his phone rang. “It’s my dad.” He put the phone back in his pocket.

“You can answer it.”

“I’ll call him back once you have done what you need to do, Lexi. I’m sure he just wants to rush home to get ready for another date.”