Healed (Scarred #2)(8)
Author: J.S. Cooper

“Sorry what?” I frowned confused. Had Luke lost it?

“One day you’ll understand.” He smiled at me, sweetly and took my hand. “You will always be my best friend, Lexi and I am always here for you. Please remember that.”

“I’ll call you.” I got out of the car with tears in my eyes. The words didn’t seem adequate for the emotions running through me. They didn’t adequately impart everything I wanted him to know. I wanted him to know that he was a part of my heart. That when I had thought he was dead, I had wanted to die as well. But I couldn’t say those words. I didn’t want to give him false hope. Not when Bryce was still in my life. Bryce was the one I had been waiting a lifetime for. Love didn’t always come easy, but I had prayed for this opportunity. He was the one. I had always believed he was the one.

I didn’t look back at the car as I opened my front door. I didn’t want to see Luke watching me. I didn’t want to feel even guiltier than I currently did. I didn’t think I could survive more pain and sorrow in my heart right now. I was too tired. So very tired.

“Lexi, is that you?” My mom came down the stairs with a frown on her face. “Where have you been?”

“I was at the hospital, mom.”

“Oh, okay. Did you want to go to get something to eat?”

“Not really.” Thanks for asking if everything is okay, I thought to myself.

“Shall we order in a pizza then, instead?”

“I’m not hungry, mom.”

“Maybe we can ask your young man Luke to come over as well.”

“How many times do I have to tell you? Luke and I are not dating, mom!” I screamed as I ran past her on the stairs.

“There’s no need for your attitude, young lady.”

“Shut the f**k up.” I whispered, under my breath.

“What did you say to me, Lexi?” She chased me up the stairs. “Do you know how much I have sacrificed for you?” she screamed at me and I crouched back, scared she was going to hit me. “You are such an ungrateful cow, I gave up my whole life for you.”

“I just want to go to my room, mom.” I knew better than to respond to her words. I had learnt that a long time ago. “Can I just go to my room?”

“Go to your room. I’m going out.” She turned away from me and I ran into my room and locked the door. I tried to control my breathing by rubbing my head. I have a splitting headache and I know that I should take a tablet. I walked to my door slowly and open it one inch at a time so as not to alert my mother. I tiptoed to the bathroom and paused as I heard the almost silent sobs of my mother coming from her room. I’m rendered immobile for a minute, feeling my heartbreak once again.

I wanted to go to her and hold her. But I knew from previous experience that, if I were to do that, she would soon turn on me. Her emotions were as temperamental as the weather and I knew that the smartest thing to do was to stay well away from her when she was in one of her moods. She went from happy to angry faster than a cheetah chasing its prey.

I walked quickly and grabbed the Motrin that was in the cupboard and scrambled back to my room. I could see the light on in Luke’s room as I opened my door and I wanted, more than anything, to be able to shout out to him and ask him to come over.

“It’s just you now, Lexi.” I looked at myself in the mirror and frowned. I didn’t want to be this person anymore. Hiding in my room. Feeling sorry for myself. Allowing the misery of others to dictate my life. What had I done that was so wrong? Absolutely nothing. I pulled out my phone and contemplated calling Bryce to make sure he was okay, but there was one phone call I had to make that was even more important.

“Lexi, hey.” Anna sounded cheerful as she picked up the phone.

“Hey.”

“You don’t know how happy I am to hear Luke is okay.”

“Oh yeah?”

“What’s wrong, Lexi?” Anna sounded unsure of herself. “You sound funny.”

“Did you sleep with Bryce?”

“Wait, what?” I hard her gasp and I knew in that second that it was true. There was a part of me that had hoped that Bryce was lying. And that he was even more twisted in the head than I had thought. I wanted to believe he was sicker than Anna.

“How could you, Anna?” My voice was low, and I allowed the hurt to come through.

“I didn’t mean to, Lexi,” she whispered.

“You have known how long I’ve loved Bryce. How long I have waited for this moment.”

“I just…”

“Why did you choose this moment to be the worst best friend ever?” I cried out, angry and hurt. “How could you, Anna?”

“It wasn’t just me, Lexi. He slept with me, too.”

“Yeah, after you drugged him,” I spat out.

“I didn’t drug him,” she cried out. “We made love, Lexi. Bryce and I made love. I didn’t make him do anything.”

“Sex isn’t love, Anna.” I was deliberately cruel. “Just because you were a slut doesn’t mean he loves you. He loves me. He wants to be with me.”

“Who doesn’t want to?”

“What?” My voice rose. “Is this because Luke told me he loves me? Are you that jealous of me?”

“Luke loves you?” I heard a sharp intake of breath and, for a moment, I felt a shred of sympathy for her.

“I can’t believe you did this to me, Anna. How could you?”

“You’ve never been here for me, Lexi. Do you realize that? I’m always here for you. Always listening. Always sympathizing. Always there, in the background for you to talk to. But are you ever there for me?”

“What are you talking about, Anna? I have been here for you our whole lives.”

“No you haven’t!” she screamed. “When Eddie died, did you ask me if I was okay?”

“Anna, why would I ask you that?” I frowned into the phone.

“I know he tried to rape you, Lexi and I hate him for that. But I loved him. I was trying to help him.”

“What are you talking about, Anna? You barely knew him.” And then I remembered our game again. I had chosen Bryce and she had chosen Eddie. I thought back to our sophomore year, when Anna had first decided to volunteer at the pound, she had done so because Eddie had been doing community service there. And when she had dragged me to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I hadn’t minded because Bryce had been there, it hadn’t even crossed my mind that Eddie would have been there as well. “Why didn’t you tell me, Anna?” I whispered into the phone in shock. “You were in love with Eddie, weren’t you?”