Heart Recaptured

Ky sighed and ran his hand across his forehead. “It ain’t forbidden out here. There’s no prophet to worry about. No fuckin’ apocalypse that you taking a sip of that Joe is gonna bring.” Ky’s hand pushed the mug in my direction, and he said, “Just try it, Li. Just fuckin’ try it.”

I stared at the offending receptacle. I was startled at the level of turmoil I was feeling. I had never deviated from Prophet David’s words or commandments. I was a true believer in the cause. But at the same time, Ky’s words played havoc with my mind. I wanted to please him. I wanted to try and live out here on the outside… at least until I was returned to The Order.

Something within me wanted to trust him, wanted to please him.

Clenching my hands, I shook as I gripped the handle of the mug and brought it to my lips. The closer it came, the stronger the rich aroma became. I closed my eyes, convincing myself to try it, when a small amount of liquid flooded my mouth.

It was hot, bitter, sharp… and I loved it!

Lowering the mug, Ky tipped his head to the side and said, “Well?”

Stifling a laugh, I said, “It was good. It was very good!”

He beamed a big smile. “Proud of you, Li. You took life by the balls.”

Maude appeared at that moment and placed down plates filled with food I had not seen before. Ky picked up his fork and pointed at a large round item on my dish. “Pancake.”

I panicked at what was proper decorum. I was not allowed to eat with men in the commune, it was forbidden, so I waited for further instruction.

Ky stared at me and sighed, reaching forward and handed me the knife and fork. “Try it,” he pushed.

I nodded in submission as he poured a sticky brown sauce on the top of the food.

I frowned, and he said, “Try it, Li. Eat. You’re gonna fuckin’ love it. Ain’t no rules to stick to with me.” I decided to try a small bite so to not anger him, but my stomach felt in knots.

I tried it.

And I loved it.

I really truly loved it.

Chapter Seven

Lilah

“It is… unbelievable,” I whispered, my face almost pressed against the windowpane as I absorbed the sights. Huge buildings stood proudly side by side, some built in strange shapes, others so tall I struggled to see the top.

The day turned out to be bright and sunny, allowing me to see everything with perfect clarity.

“Downtown Austin, sweet cheeks. This shit’ll blow your fuckin’ mind. Good music, good vibes.”

“I… I never knew such a place could exist. We heard stories, of course, but my imagination could never have dreamed up this spectacle.”

People of all races, shapes, and sizes thronged the busy streets. Some were dressed sinfully, some in garments I did not begin to comprehend. Many were holding machines that Mae had told me about, “cell phones” she had called them.

“So? What d’ya think?” Ky asked. “Could you see yourself living here?”

Shaking my head profusely, I answered. “No. Absolutely not. It is too full. I would be fearful of everything, behaving wrong, of the unknown people I passed.” Taking a breath, feeling exhausted through overstimulation, I said, “If I were to reside outside of commune—”

“Which is gonna have to happen,” Ky interjected.

“Yes, okay,” I replied. “I would prefer to live somewhere quiet, away from people who would stare at me and make salacious advances. I would like to live without the fear of sin, without too much noise, without too much strife.” As I cast my gaze out of the window, I added, “I would like to live pain free.”

Ky said nothing in response, but his knuckles betrayed his emotion as they turned white with the intensity of his grip on the wheel.

The more we drove around the city, the more tired I became. Ky would point things out to me and explain what they were, things called museums that housed ancient artifacts from around the world, cinemas where people would meet and watch “movies.” Of course, I had never watched a motion picture. Ky had to explain what a television was.

I found I could relate to nothing out here.

It all felt so… so… big to me. Too much.

After hours of all-consuming life-altering experiences, I turned to Ky. “Can I request that we return to the compound now? I have grown tired and I feel I have had more than I can handle in one day.”

Ky nodded his head, clearly aware of my desperation, as I sank back into the depths of the seat. He clicked a button on the wheel, music suddenly blaring through the vehicle. Every space seemed alive with fast, heavy beats. I leaned my head against the door as the loud noise permeated the very air I breathed.