Hero(79)
Author: Samantha Young

“No, that’s my decision to make.”

We stared at each other while I bit back an infuriated response.

Caine crossed his arms over his chest. “Only Henry and the people involved know this about my past. I’ve worked hard to make sure it stays buried.”

Oh fuck, oh God, oh hell, oh fuck …

“At school I was working as a waiter at this fancy restaurant in Society Hill. I’d gotten into Wharton on my scholarship, but I wasn’t living in the greatest student housing in Philly and I still needed money. I needed money to survive, but I also needed money to invest. I met Henry in college and he had connections. He got me the job at the restaurant. It paid better than most … While I was there I was propositioned by this older woman. A wealthy older woman.”

If it was possible I think my heart stopped for a moment.

Caine’s gaze bored into me with some kind of twisted determination. “She offered me a lot of money.”

“Oh my God,” I whispered, not believing where this confession had led. If I’d placed a bet on what his secret was, I would have lost huge. “You did it? You had sex with her for money?”

He gave a short nod, so tense he looked ready to shatter. “The way she saw it, I was perfect—I was a Wharton man, not some ignoramus off the street, but I was also poor and ambitious. She asked the right questions, worked it out, knew what she was doing, knew I might let her manipulate me. And I did. I thought what the hell? It was just her.”

Realization hit me with force. My stomach knotted. “But it wasn’t, was it?”

He shook his head. “It was the kind of titillation a bored housewife was looking for. She told a friend she trusted and before I knew it I didn’t need the waiter job. I had a clientele.” He bit the word out bitterly. “It was perfect. There was no chance of it getting out, because none of these women could afford for people to discover they were paying a college student for sex. I made enough money in nine months to invest. I invested wisely and saw a huge return. From there I invested more and so forth.”

“A big enough return to start up the bank.”

Caine finally looked at me, seeming to dare me to hate him. “Henry walked in on me with one of my clients one time and discovered the whole thing. He’s the only one who knows how far I sank to get what I want.”

“That’s why you’re weird whenever I ask about Wharton. Why you hate me around Henry, because he’s the only one who could tell me the truth?”

“That and he gets a kick out of pissing me off by flirting with you all the time.”

I ignored that, too stunned, reeling from his revelation. “That woman at the Delaneys’ party … she was one of them, wasn’t she?”

“Yes,” he admitted, his expression still taunting. “She’s from Philadelphia. I rarely cross paths with the women from that time in my life, but I knew she was going to be there—”

“That’s why you were in a mood that whole day and at the party …” I stood up slowly and he watched me warily. “That’s why you ended it with me.”

“It could never work between us.”

“Because of this?”

“Lexie, I practically sold my soul to get where I am today. I’m a selfish bastard … and you …” His eyes washed over my face. “You’ve already lost everything to keep your soul intact.”

“Caine.” I couldn’t say anything for a minute. I was strangled by emotion.

He abruptly started to walk away.

“Don’t go,” I cried out.

He stopped, turning slightly to look back at me.

“I love you,” I said through my tears. “I love you so much. Nothing changes that. Nothing.”

He huffed in irritated disbelief. “Not even the fact that I was a whore?”

I flinched at the word. It wasn’t an easy truth to swallow, and if I didn’t know him, know how life had cheated him from the start, maybe I wouldn’t have been able to see the big picture. But I could. I didn’t blame Caine for what had happened. I blamed them. “They used you,” I argued.

If anything, this seemed to piss Caine off even more.

“No, they used you,” I repeated. “Yes, you used them, but they used you too. You were just a kid.”

“I stopped being a kid at thirteen, Lexie.”

“You were just a kid to them. And you were a kid, whether you want to admit it or not, and you were hurting. You got through what happened to you because you had ambition to focus on. So you did something you’re ashamed of now … but it got you where you are. Do I wish it were different? Yes. I wish that wasn’t your past. I’m pretty sure right now you do too. But we can’t change it. It was years ago. You’re not the same person now. We just have to leave it where it belongs. In the past.”

“It’s not part of the past,” he snarled, seeming enraged by my understanding. “It’s who I am—it’s what I’m capable of! I use any means to get what I want and I don’t give a shit who I hurt in the process.”

“No.” I shook my head, not believing that for a second. “It’s not who you are. Not with me.” I reached for him, my fingers stroking through his hair as I curled my hand around the nape of his neck, trying to draw him closer. “You’re lying to yourself. You’re holding this up as a way to keep me locked out. But it’s too late. I’m in. You love me.” I smiled softly as he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth against my words. “You love me,” I repeated, “and you’ll never hurt me. And I will never hurt you. I will never use you like they did, like they all did. Because I want you. Just you.” I pressed my forehead against his jaw and held on tighter to him. “No one will ever understand like I do. You’re so different with me, baby. You take care of me. You make me feel safe. You’re not who you think you are. Didn’t you once tell me that people aren’t just one thing? You’re so much more to me than anything you might have done in the past.”

“Lexie,” he said, his voice guttural, “I told you this to wake you up. A man like me isn’t capable of being your fucking white knight.” His fingers peeled my hand from his neck and he gently pressed me away.

I felt the anger boil up inside me. “I’m not looking for a hero!”

He flinched at the emotion cracking my words.