His to Take (Wicked Lovers #9)(101)
Author: Shayla Black

“I can only imagine what you’re going through. You’ve been carrying this secret for so long. To know that it’s been locked inside must be terrible.”

“I feel . . . I don’t know how to put it.” She shook her head. “Responsible? But I don’t think, at five, I could have stopped what happened.”

“No. If Viktor hadn’t told you to hide, you would have died that day, too. Either he would have ended you as he did the others or McKeevy would have tortured you to see if you knew anything helpful before he killed you.”

Everything he said was true, but that didn’t make the words easier to take. “I wish I had been able to tell everyone sooner maybe. I don’t know. Done something.”

“That wouldn’t have changed anything, either. What you wish is that you’d had more power in the situation, both then and now.”

Bailey hadn’t thought of it like that, but he was right. He understood exactly what she wanted. “Yes. I feel like I’ve done them a disservice by not speaking the truth sooner. And now I’m so angry with Viktor, LOSS, McKeevy . . .”

“And probably me. I’ve forced you into this.”

“You were trying to save lives. I don’t know where I’d be if you hadn’t saved mine. Probably dead. And I would never have known the truth. Thank you for being my white knight.”

He took her face in his hands and looked down at her as if he wanted to say something. But Bailey saw what she needed in his eyes—his strength, his comfort, his sense of right. For the first time, she knew what it was like to choose someone with her heart. She couldn’t change either set of her parents or the way those relationships had ended. She’d drifted through a lot of friends, too. In retrospect, Bailey figured that she’d cleaved onto Blane because he’d been funny, interesting, and so helpful with dance. But Joaquin . . . He filled her heart like no one ever had.

No denying that she loved him.

He might stay tomorrow—but probably not. She couldn’t control that. All she could do was be with him now. He was a balm to her battered soul. He was the warmth that chased the chill from her heart. He made her feel alive, and she needed that so badly right now.

“Will you kiss me?” she breathed.

He pressed his lips to hers softly, lingering for just a moment before he pulled back.

Bailey wanted more. She wrapped her arms around his neck and opened her lips to him, plunging her tongue inside.

Joaquin tensed and pulled back. “Bailey, you need food and sleep.”

“I don’t.”

“You’re upset. I won’t take advantage of you.”

She loved his sense of right and wrong. It might be skewed to some people, but she understood. For him, the righteous end could justify the terrible means. He wasn’t the kind of man to kidnap her lightly. Just like he wasn’t the sort to take from her when he thought she couldn’t spare anything to give.

“You’re not. I’m asking you to fill me up with your touch, your affection. Replace all these bad memories with something good. Help me.”

He frowned, his stare contemplative as he delved deep into her eyes. Finally, he rose and leaned over her, cutting off the shower. Then he helped her onto the bath mat and wrapped a towel around her, squeezing the water from her hair before it dripped on the floor.

Gently, he yanked on the strands falling down her back. “I don’t have any condoms in the room. I picked some up today, but they’re in the car. If this is what you really want, I’ll go get them.”

He should. She should let him.

“No.” The word slipped out.

Bailey couldn’t imagine letting him out of her sight. She couldn’t be parted from him for even a moment. It wasn’t logical. Then again, desperation wasn’t. She needed to feel him in the most elemental way, man to woman, natural and real.

Nothing between them.

“I don’t want you to wear one.”

He hesitated. “Bailey, I don’t think—”

She lunged up and melded her lips to his, her hands tearing into his jeans. She didn’t want to think right now. She didn’t want him to think, either. She simply wanted to feel. So what if she was reckless? Everything else in her life had gone to hell through no fault of her own. Just one moment with him. A pure connection no one could erase, something she’d never forget. Was that asking for too much?

He pulled back and gripped her wrists before she could lower his zipper. “I want you, too. So damn badly. When I sank deep inside you, the feel of you around me with no barriers was the most pleasure I’ve ever felt. I’d give anything to have that again. But if you got pregnant?”