His to Take (Wicked Lovers #9)(107)
Author: Shayla Black

Bailey pondered the family camping trip, her past, her future . . . and the man in front of her, as she ate more pizza. Funny, she hadn’t eaten this stuff in two years. It was better than she remembered. Or maybe it just seemed that way because she ate it wrapped in nothing but a sheet while in bed with the man she loved.

He polished off another piece, then wiped off his hands. “Feeling any better? Tired?”

“Strangely happy,” she admitted. “I like being here with you.” She felt herself blush, then smiled. “But I’m also scared. How long can we search for something I may never remember how to find? What if we can’t find it? How long until someone catches up with us?”

Joaquin shoved the pizza box out of the way, then dragged her against him. “We’ll figure that out if it happens.”

“I can’t expect you to give up your life for a month or six or—”

“I believe in you. You’re smart. You’ve made tremendous progress already, just in the past two days. I have no doubt it will come back to you. Relax. Be patient with yourself.”

Bailey tried to follow his advice. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and melted against him. Desperately, she tried to clear her head, scuttle her anxiety, and let the memories surface.

Nothing.

“You’re still tense,” he pointed out.

“I need answers now. Later might not help me. McKeevy will probably be trying to kill me later. So waiting isn’t really an option.”

“I’m going to protect you,” he swore. “We’re in this together.”

“Why?” She stared into his hazel eyes, seeking an answer. “I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. You’ve definitely saved my life and helped me piece together a lot of my past that I’d been unable to figure out on my own. I appreciate it, but . . .” She paused, looking for the right words to explain. “You didn’t know me four days ago. Saving me cost you your job. I know you prefer to be alone, so this constantly babysitting me has to be a pain in your ass.”

Joaquin pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. “You didn’t cost me my job. I was pursuing this case even before I knew your name. I didn’t have any plans to stop, no matter what it cost me. I . . .” He grimaced, then cursed under his breath.

“You weren’t going to let more women die so horrifically, I know. Your selfless sense of justice is one of the things I really admire about you.”

“Wanting justice served for those victims he tortured and killed because he sought Tatiana Aslanov wasn’t really the reason I saved you. I had a friend.” He sighed heavily. “His name was Nate, a private investigator, but we met in the police academy.”

Bailey watched him struggle for his next words. Whatever he was trying to say caused him a great deal of pain. It creased his forehead and clouded his eyes.

“Tell me,” she murmured.

“Kata wasn’t wrong when she said that I pulled away from my family after my dad’s death. I spent a lot of years wondering what the point of family and friends was. Eventually, you’d just have to endure the fucking terrible tragedy of losing them. In my head, the fewer people I gave a shit about, the less I’d have to hurt.”

“But you have a mother and two sisters who love you. I’d give anything to have what you don’t want.”

“And I never considered it from that perspective until you. I’d convinced myself I was just fine, that I was keeping life simple, that my family had moved on without me. Nate was the first person I cared about since my father. We were pretty good buddies. We drank together, did our share of barhopping. We trained together, became beat officers together. I never really realized how much he meant to me until one of McKeevy’s victims hired him. She feared she was being followed—and she was, by the long arm of LOSS. And as soon as Nate stumbled onto the truth, they broke into his house and double-tapped him in the head. After my shock wore off, an absolute cold fury set in. I’m not sure I’ve moved past that.”

Bailey’s heart went out to him. “How long has it been?”

“Less than a week.”

She reared back and stared at him in stupefied shock. “I’m so sorry. You’ve been dealing with so much. The death, the danger . . . the long-lost orphan you had to babysit. You haven’t had time to grieve.”

“I don’t think I really ever do.” He sighed. “I just shove it down.”

Bailey hadn’t thought she could be shocked again, but Joaquin proved her wrong. “Did you ever cry for your father?”