His to Take (Wicked Lovers #9)(146)
Author: Shayla Black

He barreled toward her, reaching her in a few long strides. “You look beautiful.”

Callie had been kind enough to lend her a dress this morning. She still hadn’t been to Houston to clean out her house or reclaim what was left of her things. She’d have to do that after the audition—and figure out where to go from there. Right now, she was thinking she’d move somewhere she could be near her newly adopted family.

“Thanks.” Bailey didn’t know what else to say. He’d obviously made it back from Iowa. No idea what he wanted to say to her. She probably shouldn’t be so eager, but she desperately wanted to know.

“Can I talk to you?” he asked. “I know I don’t deserve it, but I owe you an apology at least.”

Bailey felt her eyes begin to swim in tears. She didn’t want to bare her heartbreak. She wasn’t sure she could live with herself if she did . . . but she was also struggling to hold it back.

“I know why you left.” Damn it, her voice was shaking. “You don’t have to say anything more. I caused you worry you didn’t need and—”

“My fear that I’d lost you stripped me all the way down to my soul. I was already struggling with how I could deserve you or show you that I love you. I wasn’t prepared to lose you, Bailey, especially when it was all my fault.”

She blinked at him, gaping. “I . . .”

He loved her? Had he just said that?

Her thoughts raced. She swallowed, then opened her mouth and tried again. “It wasn’t your fault. You did your best.”

Joaquin shook his head. “I should have shot McKeevy in the parking lot. I should have laid down my life to keep him from touching you even once.”

She didn’t need or want Joaquin’s guilt. If that’s what had brought him here, she would absolve him now and send him on his way. “I’m fine.”

“Any more nightmares?”

“Surprisingly no. I’ve had some panicked moments where I’ve been afraid to be alone, especially at night. I’m told that’s normal. I’m thinking about getting a dog.” Where had that come from? Great, now she was rambling. “I’m going to talk to a therapist about what happened to me as a child, so I can work through everything. But you don’t have to worry about me.”

He frowned fiercely, his hazel eyes looking mysteriously moist. “I will always worry about you, regardless of what happens today. But if you give me another chance, I will stay and care for you every single day. I will never, ever leave you again.”

He grabbed her hands, and she felt the shock of his touch all the way to her heart—a bittersweet homecoming. Bailey felt her knees go weak.

“I’m sorry. I miss you. I love you.” His chest buckled, and he looked as though he held back tears. “I want you forever.”

It took all of Bailey’s self-control not to leap into his arms and admit that she loved him, too. But he had to understand how she felt. “It’s not that simple, Joaquin. I’ve been left by everyone I’ve ever loved, including you.”

He closed his eyes. “God, if I could take that day back, I would, baby girl. In a heartbeat. When I thought I’d lost you forever, I freaked out.”

“I know. Just like I know you didn’t mean to hurt me when you left me. But you did.” She sighed. “I’m human. I could die tomorrow. I can’t do anything about that. I can’t live with wondering if you’ll run away every time you’re overwhelmed by potential pain and loss.”

He shook his head, looking insistent and determined. “I want every moment I can get with you, until fate decides it’s time for one of us to take our last breath—whether that’s tomorrow or a hundred years from now. But I can’t live another second without telling you how much I love you. I know you might reject me, and I’ll have earned it. But at least I know I’ve faced my fear and been one hundred percent honest with you.”

God, he sounded like a different man. Bailey scanned the familiar, masculine angles of his face and marveled at the resolution there. “What changed?”

“You,” he said as if the truth was obvious. “You make me want tomorrow. You make me ready to face whatever comes next, good or bad.” He pulled her closer, and Bailey didn’t resist. “I want you to know . . . I spoke to my mother. We’re on good terms again. I called Kata and Mari this morning. I’ve apologized. I won’t let my family down. I even reached out to Nate’s parents to offer my condolences. I think they needed it.”

“That’s great.” Bailey really meant that. For Joaquin, those were huge steps. Maybe he was truly serious.