Home to Whiskey Creek (Whiskey Creek #4)(38)
Author: Brenda Novak

“I was so hurt and humiliated I didn’t know what to do,” she said.

“I’m sorry. I’d like you to understand that. Even if…if you decide to come forward, I’ll still be sorry. I wouldn’t want what happened to you to happen to anyone. I can’t believe I had a hand in it. I got caught up in the fever of the moment. I’m really not that sort of person.”

She rested her head against the door. “Is that true?”

“Absolutely.”

“So why didn’t you tell?”

He laughed bitterly. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m a coward. I’ve been terrified for years that someone would find out, that my wife…” His voice broke. “God, what would she say? She tells me all the time that I’m a good man, and it makes me feel like such a fraud. I mean, I don’t want other people to know—and yet there are times I hate myself so much I’m dying to tell. Does that make sense?”

She didn’t answer, but he continued, anyway.

“Sometimes I wonder if it isn’t harder to live with a lie than to be punished for the truth. Sometimes I consider clearing my conscience. Maybe I should. Maybe that’s the only way I can truly get past what I’ve done.” He shook his head. “But then I think about the people it’ll hurt besides me. People like Noah. It would destroy him to learn what his brother did that night. It would hurt the whole family. Some actions have so many repercussions.”

Addy cracked open the door. On the other side she saw a man about her height and one hundred and eighty pounds, give or take ten, who’d already started losing his hair. With his glasses, she might not have recognized him if she’d seen him in the street. He hung his head, looking miserable and ashamed.

“Noah, he…he has no idea?” Addy asked.

“None. As far as I can tell, no one does. It would be such a surprise. The whole community would be shocked.”

“You think Noah would take it hard, though?”

“I know he would.”

So did she. And she didn’t want him to be hurt. “Why hasn’t he married?”

“Married! He’s never even had a steady girlfriend. He’s got a commitment problem or something. Goes from one girl to the next. We tease him about it all the time. He doesn’t like hearing he’s a player, but…the truth is the truth.”

A commitment problem. She’d sensed that, too.

“How long after you raped me did you meet your wife?”

“Raped you,” he whispered, as if hearing those words nearly knocked the wind out of him.

She didn’t soften them. “How long?”

“Five years.”

“And you’re happy?”

“You really want to know this stuff?” Shifting awkwardly, he scratched his head. “I can’t imagine…I can’t imagine it feels very good to…to hear that I’ve got a great wife, when I don’t deserve her.”

She wasn’t sure how that made her feel. The old anger welled up occasionally, but mostly she’d let it go. She couldn’t move forward in life, couldn’t heal if she was smoldering with resentment. “Who dragged me to the mine the other night?”

Straightening, he looked up. “It wasn’t Aaron?”

“Of course not. It had to be one of you.”

“I admit I’ve wondered about that. But I have no clue. Kevin, Derek, Stephen and I, we see one another once in a while. But we don’t talk about that night. Ever.”

“Could it have been Kevin?”

Tom seemed genuinely uncertain. “Kevin’s got a family, too. And he loves his job. Like me, he probably wishes that night never happened and tries to pretend it didn’t.”

“And the other two?”

He lifted his hands to show that he had no idea. “Maybe it was Stephen.”

“Why him?”

“He’s divorced, angry. His life hasn’t turned out the way he hoped. He played in the minors—I’m not sure if you knew that.”

“I certainly didn’t follow him.”

“Right, well, he got called up to the majors after a couple of years. Had a bright future ahead of him. Then he tore his rotator cuff and was never the same. His professional baseball aspirations ended before he ever played in a game.” He rubbed his neck. “I don’t think he’s ever gotten over the disappointment. It’s still all he talks about.”

Addy felt no sympathy for Stephen. He’d been her least favorite of the five. The rape had originally been his idea. But nothing would’ve happened if Cody hadn’t acted on it. Stephen hadn’t had the same amount of pull among his teammates.

“What does he do for a living?” she asked.

“Works for Kyle Houseman, making solar panels.”

“Does Stephen have kids?”

“A couple, but they live with his ex-wife somewhere else.”

Addy kept her finger on the send button of her phone, even though she doubted she was in danger. “And Derek?”

“Derek’s not up to much, but…I don’t think he’d ever hurt you.”

“He already did,” she stated flatly.

He winced. “I mean…as an adult. Now. These days.”

“Do you know anything about a website with the URL www.SkintightEntertainment.com?”

“No. Why?”

“I thought Derek might be involved with it.”

“It’s possible. He works from home, building websites, optimizing, that sort of thing, but…he struggles to get by.”

“Noelle Arnold says he’s making a calendar.”

Tom stretched his neck. “I heard about that. He must be trying to earn a little on the side by becoming a photographer.”

“Where does he live?” If she could get his address, she could drive by, see if he had a truck that showed damage—if and when she gathered the nerve.

“God, I’m a mess.” He smoothed down what hair he had left. “I hate what I did, wish I hadn’t even been there that night. But…it feels disloyal standing here answering these questions. I know they’d think I’m…I don’t know…trying to shift the blame.”

“You’re worried about what they might think?”

“Fine,” he said with a sigh. “Have you seen that four-plex behind the trees as you head south out of town?”

“Where the Powers family used to live?” They’d been among the poorest in Whiskey Creek. They’d had something like eleven kids.