Home to Whiskey Creek (Whiskey Creek #4)(45)
Author: Brenda Novak

When he didn’t make any move to touch her, however, she covered herself with her arms. She wasn’t bold enough to continue standing there with her shirt off and the lights on. “I’ve always been kind of skinny.”

Sometimes she still felt like that awkward girl he’d so casually ignored.

“Don’t be nervous.” He removed her hands. “You might’ve been skinny before but you’re perfect now.”

“So—” she swallowed hard “—why are you just…staring at me?”

He pinned her arms at her sides as he kissed one breast. “The anticipation is half the fun.”

That sent another ripple of pleasure through her. Obviously, he was better at this than she was. But she’d expected to be a novice in comparison. “Okay, maybe…” She cleared her throat. “Maybe we could turn off the lights.”

He chuckled. “Are you still that shy?”

“No.” She shook her head, adamant. “Not anymore.” She’d worked so hard to overcome that. “It’s just…I haven’t been with very many men. I’m not as used to this as you are.”

He stepped closer, until his bare chest brushed against hers. “You were married.”

It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep track of the conversation. “For a few months. And I’m pretty sure he slept with one of the waitresses at the restaurant more than he slept with me.” She laughed as if she’d been making a joke, but she’d always feared that Clyde had preferred the waitress because she wasn’t any fun in bed.

“Was he your first?”

“My second. There was one other guy…before.”

“They always turned off the lights?”

“I guess.” She couldn’t remember. But she hadn’t been as self-conscious with them, hadn’t cared as much what they thought of her. That was why she’d chosen them. They were safe, nothing like Noah. At that point in her recovery, she hadn’t been ready for a man who affected her as deeply as Noah.

“I’ll turn them off if you want, but…this is a sight worth seeing. Just looking at you makes me hard as a rock.”

When her face heated, he chuckled again. “Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a woman get embarrassed so easily.”

Suddenly afraid she was making a mistake, she pulled away. “I’m not very good at this. I should go.”

She tried to circumvent him so she could get to her shirt.

“Addy.” His hands rested on her shoulders as he turned her around. “Don’t go.”

“I don’t have the experience you want.”

“I don’t care about experience. All I care about is being with you. The lights can go off. You can have anything you want.”

When she glanced at her shirt as if she was still tempted to pick it up, he grasped her chin. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “I wasn’t making fun of you. To be honest, it’s been a long time since I’ve wanted a woman so badly.”

The sincerity in those words almost had her believing them. But she told herself comments like that had to be common when it came to casual sex.

She hesitated, but before she could decide what to do, he backed her up against the wall, where he could reach the light switch.

“You have nothing to worry about,” he insisted, and plunged them into darkness.

“What about birth control?” she asked.

“I’ve got birth control.”

She had other things to worry about. But once he lowered his head to her breast she couldn’t remember a single one.

* * *

Sex had become so mechanical lately, so meaningless. But it wasn’t that way with Addy. Making her gasp or moan made it all feel new. The first time they made love, Noah was too caught up, couldn’t worry much about anything. He just went with the demands of his body. But the second time, he was determined to bring her to climax—and became frustrated when he couldn’t. She wouldn’t relax, wouldn’t let go. It was only when he refused to give up that she finally admitted she’d never had an orgasm while making love.

He could hardly believe it. She’d been married. What had been happening in that bed if she hadn’t been getting any sexual gratification from her husband?

“It’s okay. I’ve had fun,” she said when he slumped over to rest.

It was almost four in the morning. After what had occurred at the cabin, this night felt as if it had lasted a week. But Noah couldn’t leave her unsatisfied. He wanted to be the one to make it happen, and not just because of male pride. He hated that the two guys she’d been with before hadn’t, for whatever reason, helped her have that experience.

“There must be something wrong with me,” she said with a self-deprecating laugh.

She was offering him an excuse to finish without her. She’d probably offered the same excuse to the other two men she’d been with, and they must’ve accepted it or she wouldn’t be in this situation. But he highly doubted she had a physical problem. It was her shyness that stood in the way. She was so quick to withdraw, to assume a protective stance, physically and emotionally. He could feel her holding back….

“You can’t be defensive or self-conscious or it won’t work,” he said.

“I’m not defensive.” She didn’t argue about being self-conscious. “I told you in the beginning…I’m not good at this.”

“That’s bullshit,” he said. “That belief is part of the problem. You’re not being graded, you know. I’ve loved every minute of it, but I want you to love it, too.” He’d been aroused and so intent on keeping her aroused, on exploring her body, that he suddenly realized he might not have given her what she really needed—and that was a little more gentleness, a little more reassurance. She had to be able to trust him enough to quit shutting down as soon as she felt she might lose control.

“There’s no reason it should be difficult,” he added. “You’re safe with me.”

Her hands gripped his arms. “Noah, I…I really don’t think I can.”

“I know you’ve been through some shit in the past. Your ex must be to blame for that. What a bastard. But I’m not your ex. Let go of whatever happened before, okay? Abandon all resistance.”

“You think I’m resisting?”

“I know you are.” He kissed her again, this time soft and slow. “I want you to come,” he coaxed. “Let me make you come.”