Hopeless Magic
I cleared my throat again and retracted my hand, rubbing it against my jeans, "Well, I'm glad we got that settled."
"Me too," Jericho smiled mischievously at me, and I was bombarded with butterflies. "And as friends, we should probably hang out. Don't you think? I mean, that's what friends do...."
I was about to object, but he flicked on the TV before I could make an escape and the late night talk show host was interviewing one of my favorite celebrities. I started laughing with the TV before I thought twice about leaving.
Jericho seemed to relax a little more, if that was even possible, and lay back further in the couch, lifting his feet up and sprawling out. I noticed his feet, long and boney, his arches were high for a guy and his toes made a perfect arch. I couldn't even begin to understand what I found attractive about them, but for some reason, his bare feet on my couch was absolutely endearing.
"Popcorn?" I blurted out, jumping up before I could concentrate on his feet anymore.
"Sure," he mumbled as I retreated into the kitchen.
I breathed in deeply as I rummaged around the kitchen looking for the box of microwavable popcorn. I was too frazzled to really look for it, so I found myself just slamming cupboards and periodically opening the refrigerator for no apparent reason.
I stopped for a moment, and placed both hands on the cool granite of the kitchen island. I had to get it together or retreat completely up to the safety of Aunt Syl's bedroom. But either way I needed to decide fast.
My magic was pinpricks of excited energy and I closed my eyes searching for the zen I knew was buried deep beneath my firm resolve to love Kiran. I did love Kiran, with everything that I was. I knew that feelings for Jericho did not mean my feelings for Kiran were in jeopardy.
It was just that my relationship with Kiran was in jeopardy and also difficult and also lonely. For such intense feelings, we had seen so little of each other on an intimate level. The entire world was literally against us being together, and meeting each other in our subconscious sleep state hardly counted as significant alone time.
Jericho was easy. A relationship with him would be easy. He was laid back and didn't have to worry about running an entire race of people at the brink of a civil war. And on top of it all, he was a good guy, a really good guy, a guy that under normal circumstances would have been an obvious choice for me to fall for.
That was it.
That was all.
I opened my eyes slowly, taking another big breath and deciding that I would conquer this and enjoy the friendship with Jericho that I so desperately wanted.
"How's that popcorn coming?" he wasn't really smiling but his eyes were deeply amused.
"It's fine. I mean, it's coming fine," I spun around and began opening the white cabinets again determining to focus. "I just um, have to find it first and then, you know.... make it...." I trailed off, feeling foolish and frustrated. Where was the damn popcorn?
"Oh, good," Jericho, patronized me before walking over to the pantry, opening the door and then pulling out a red box of microwavable popcorn.
"There it is," I smiled sheepishly.
He continued the making process, pulling it out of the plastic and sticking it inside the microwave before pushing the correct buttons to get it going. I jumped up on the kitchen island, swinging my legs and doing my best to distract myself. He stood next to me, leaning against the island and watching the glowing microwave turn the popping bag around and around.
"So what's the deal with Roxie and Avalon?" I asked, hoping to get to the bottom of my growing suspicions.
"Roxie and Avalon? What do you mean?" Jericho turned around to face me. We were too close for my magic not to react. I hoped he didn't notice the elevated level my electricity suddenly surged to, I pretended not to anyway.
"You know, is there anything there? Like between them?" I put my two pointer fingers together in a childish way, indicating that I thought they were kissing. I laughed out loud as I did it, not even able to hide my embarrassment.
"What?" Jericho laughed too, "I don't know. Can't you just do, like your weird twin thing, and figure it out for yourself?" he reached out to stop my fingers that had continued in an absent minded way. His hand was only there for a moment, but I knew my magical reaction was too much to ignore.
I cleared my throat, pulling my hands back behind me quickly and leaning back on them. "I mean, yes I could. But I don't know, it feels like a gross invasion of Avalon's privacy. I have this rule about not digging deeper than what Avalon would just up front tell me. There are some places that are just.... sacred. You know?"
"That's awfully cavalier of you. Does Avalon give you the same respect?" Jericho turned around to grab the now frantically popping popcorn before it burnt.
"Oh, I know," Jericho looked down at the late night snack, but at least he agreed with me. "I don't think there's anything though.... between them. Avalon is pretty much married to the cause. You and he are so different in that."
"What do you mean?" I asked, reaching for more popcorn.
"I don't know, you're all, relationship first, Resistance second, maybe, second, maybe not even at all. And he's all, tunnel vision and can't even see all the girls just drooling over him. He has a one-track mind and it is definitely not where most guys his age are," he laughed a little rougher, but I realized he was right.
"Why do you suppose that is? Do you think he's a better person than me?" My mood changed and it dawned on me that Avalon was a better person than me; I didn't need Jericho to confirm or deny the question.
"No, not at all," Jericho replied with intensity. "It's just that, I don't know, Avalon was raised for this role. I mean, Angelica never kept anything from him, he knew from day one what his purpose in life was, and he has always been determined to fulfill destiny and all that. You just kind of fell into this life and still can't seem to catch up," he paused to smile at me shyly. "I don't think it's a matter of who's the better person; I think it's just a difference in personality."
"Thank you for that," I said genuinely, while still believing that Avalon was in fact, just a better person than me. "Well, if there was anyone to live up to his dedication though, I'm pretty sure it would be Roxie. Sister is a bad ass." I shivered, remembering how terrified I was of her.
Jericho burst into laughter, "You're right about that. I think she even intimidates Avalon a little bit." I joined him in laughter, finding it hard not to believe.
"Oh, my gosh, is that the time?" I shrieked after glancing at the clock on the microwave. "It is so late, I really should get to bed," I said, truly apologetic.
"Yeah it is getting late," Jericho said, sounding disappointed. "I've got a huge day tomorrow waiting for you to get home from school so I can actually protect something." He smiled at me and I realized how awful his days here must be. He couldn't really be a bodyguard if I was at school for eight hours of the day, and even when I was home, there wasn't a whole lot going on.
I moved my hands forward to jump down from the counter, but Jericho was there. He put his hands on either side of my waist, his palms hot, even through my clothes. Before I could react, he had pulled me forward, gently helping me down from the island. His hands didn't linger, but my magic was erratic from the small contact.
"Oh, that must be terrible for you," I empathized, apologetically.
"Yep, it's pretty rough," he said sarcastically. "I have Rox now though; we'll figure out how to make the most out of our days."
A pang of jealousy rippled down my spine and I felt my magic flare in an unforgivable display of emotion. I coughed loudly to try and hide the outward reaction of unexplainable envy and turned to smile at Jericho, hoping to come off more charming rather than the green-eyed jealousy monster who was supposed to only like Jericho as a friend.
"Yeah, that's true. Well, that will be fun," I couldn't pretend any longer, I had to suddenly get away from Jericho before I sent him anymore mixed signals. "Goodnight, Jericho, I'm glad we worked all of this out."
I turned around and ran up the stairs, anxious to have some breathing room and clear my head. But once on the stairs Avalon's thoughts and feelings suddenly came flooding into my mind. It was like he had been holding his breath and trying to make himself as small as possible inside my head. Then all of a sudden he let his breath out and was overwhelming me.
Are you happy? I groaned in my head, feeling Avalon's elation with how things had gone between Jericho and me.
You have no idea. He responded smugly back.
I rolled my eyes at my brother. I knew he felt the gesture, and I hoped he knew he deserved it. I was confused enough as it was; I didn't need Avalon picking a side and then mixing up all his one-sided feelings with mine.
I did a good enough job mixing things up all on my own.
Chapter Seventeen
"Damn it!" I cursed loudly, burning my forearm again on the oven rack trying to balance the heavy turkey roaster. That was the third time I had checked the turkey and it still wasn't done. I cursed again at the famous recipe I stole off the Internet, and turned my attention back to mashing the potatoes.
Aunt Syl would be back any minute with the wine; she had disappeared an hour earlier, afraid of both me and the kitchen. I couldn't blame her. Thanksgiving dinner had been a lot harder than anything I imagined. Between the turkey and the casseroles and the stuffing and the mashed potatoes and the pies, I was at my wits end, and had apparently turned into a sailor with a sudden and deep knowledge of all curse words. Not to mention the fact that I had been up since five this morning baking.
I didn't know who I thought I was, but it felt like one of those irreversible nightmares that once I had stepped inside, I couldn't escape. So I just went on baking and baking and baking and now I was almost finished with the meal portion of cooking. If I could just get that damned red button to pop.
Lilly graciously helped me for the majority of the day and we had fun rolling out pie dough and doing our best to distinguish baking powder from baking soda and what exactly a pastry blender was. But I sent her upstairs forty-five minutes ago so she could wash the flour out of her hair.
I was going to have to rely on magic to pull my look together. Kiran and Talbott were due in half an hour and I was in some serious need of makeup. Amory would be here soon, too. He was Aunt Syl's invited guest; she hadn't wanted to be the only adult.
I was glad she had thought of him, it would be nice to have an actual family Thanksgiving meal. I hadn't meant to exclude him at all, but my mind was swimming with simply trying to figure out how to make Avalon and Kiran co-exist at dinner; that I had forgotten all about my grandfather, who should have been first on my guest list.