Hot Finish (Fast Track #3)(50)
Author: Erin McCarthy

There were twin gasps from Tammy and Imogen, but mostly they just gaped at her for a long drawn-out second. Suzanne understood the feeling. She’d been pretty much feeling bug-eyed and speechless for the last week since she had started to figure out something was not right with her normally regular cycle.

“What?” Tammy managed, still hunched over the wine cabinet, her butt in the air and her hair falling over her eyes. “Are you kidding me?”

She wished. Lordy be, how she wished she were joking around.

“How late are you?” Imogen said, her feet dropping to the floor, leaning forward as she pushed up her glasses. “You’ve probably just gotten yourself off schedule a few days because you’ve been so busy and stressed. You can even skip a period when you’re stressed and not eating well.”

“I’m two weeks late, y’all. That’s not normal.”

“Did you and Ryder use protection? It could just be something hormonal, totally unrelated to pregnancy.”

Imogen, God love her, always made sense, but Suzanne knew in her gut that she was knocked up again. It felt the same. Fatigue, tender br**sts, nausea that always hovered on the edges of her attention. “I forgot to take my pill one night and took it the next day. Ryder wasn’t using a condom, which given his past, I should have made him.”

The dog. The totally uncreative hotel chooser, super-sperm Captain Dickhead.

“Well, you need to take a pregnancy test before you jump to any conclusions.” Tammy stood up, setting the bottle of wine on the buffet and coming over to the couch. “We can go to the store and get one and you can take it right now, while we hold your hand.”

“I have one in my purse. I’ve been carrying it around for three days. I figured that was sort of like addressing the problem but not really actually having to deal with it.” Proactive to a certain point, that worked for her.

“Then let’s take it now.”

“You make it sound as if this is a group effort. I can pee on the stick by myself, but I did buy a multipack because it was on sale, so you’re welcome to the spare.”

“Oh, I know I’m not pregnant,” Tammy said. “Elec can’t . . .”

Then she stopped talking and her face flushed pink.

Suzanne was actually momentarily diverted. “Are you telling me Elec can’t get it up?” Jesus, and she thought her life was shit.

“Of course he can! He can definitely get it up, he gets it up a lot. He is younger than me, remember.” Tammy glanced toward the stairs and dropped her voice. “It’s not something he likes known, and I swear if you say anything to anyone or to him, I will kill you, but he can’t have children. It’s really hard for him to know that he’ll never have his own biological kids. That’s part of why he loves mine so much.”

“Oh, Tammy, damn, I had no idea.” Suzanne swallowed the lump that had suddenly risen in her throat. God, to not be able to have children? That was something she couldn’t comprehend. It put a whole new spin on her dilemma. “I’m so sorry.”

“We’ve talked about adoption,” she whispered, but then waved her hand. “But we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you. Get your butt in the bathroom.”

“I was afraid you were going to say that.” Suzanne threw the blanket off of her and sighed. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

“How will you feel if it’s positive?” Imogen asked.

“I’m not sure,” she admitted. “I mean, I’ve always wanted a baby, desperately. But this is far from ideal circumstances. I’m broke and I just applied to law school.”

“You applied to law school?” Tammy asked, her face squinching up. “Since when?”

“Since Vegas. I always wanted to go to law school, you know, but I was afraid to take the leap, to get the loans and just do it. And after all this wedding business with Nikki, I just realized it’s now or never. I can try to do something I’ve always wanted to, something that makes a difference in the world, or I can just resign myself to a job I don’t really care for. So I figured I would apply and see what happens.”

She had needed to do it. It was time to grab the steering wheel and drive her own life instead of just being along for the ride.

“I didn’t know you wanted to be a lawyer,” Imogen said. “That’s an excellent choice for you.”

“I didn’t know you wanted to be a lawyer either and I’ve known you for six years. I swear, Suzanne, sometimes you’re such a guy.”

“What does that mean? I don’t spit and I don’t have any balls to scratch and I’ve never claimed romance is an ice-cold beer and a swat on the ass.” She wasn’t a guy, and she was kind of offended by the comparison.

Tammy laughed. “What I mean is that you do what men do in that you think things through quietly, in your head, and then just announce the conclusion. Most women don’t do that. Most women fret and worry and talk it through from all angles over and over with their girlfriends and their partner and finally, sometimes, come to a conclusion. Men work it all through in their head, and you don’t even know they’re thinking about anything so when they announce it, everyone’s left scratching their heads and wondering where that came from. You do the exact same thing.”

Her first reaction was to deny it, but as she thought about it, Suzanne realized there was a measure of truth to it. “So? It just means I’m not bugging anyone with my stupid shit.”

“But you don’t let anyone in, honey, to offer advice or to support you,” Tammy said in a soft voice. “We can be here for you more if you’d let us. And Ryder would understand you better if you shared with him once in a while.”

Disturbed by the tone of the conversation, Suzanne stood up and went for her purse on the end table. “There’s been plenty of sharing between Ryder and I lately. We don’t need any more sharing or I’ll wind up having triplets.” She yanked the pregnancy test out of the bottom of her purse where she had wedged it.

While she sat on the toilet seat in Tammy’s powder room waiting for the test to do its thing, she pondered what her friend had said. Since when had working through problems and feelings on your own become a flaw? She had always thought of it as a strength, not a weakness. But maybe there was something to Tammy’s point that coming to a conclusion on your own blindsided people.