Hustle Him (Bank Shot Romance #2)(26)
Author: Jennifer Foor

Ramsey put his head down. There was no expression on his face. It was like he was dead. “You need to leave.”

I stood up and walked toward the door. With my hand on the doorknob, I turned around and saw him standing in the same position. “Did you think that I would act different if I knew the truth?”

“Vessa, don’t do this. I appreciate you taking me home, but we can’t be friends, not now, not ever.”

I pushed the door shut and walked back toward him. “What are you so afraid of? I just want to help.”

“You can’t help me. No one can. Don’t you get it? Nothing can change what happened. Nothing can bring them back.” He picked up a wooden duck and threw it against a wall.

It terrified me, but for some reason, I knew he wasn’t going to hurt me. For probably what was the first time, he was letting his feelings out. “I’m not leaving!” I plopped back down on the couch and watched him giving me a dirty look.

When he wouldn’t look at me anymore, I picked up one of the papers and started rereading the article. He walked over and grabbed it out of my hand like it was sacred. “Please just leave, Vessa.”

I stood up and approached him from behind, reaching my arms around him. He stood there still and when he tried to pull away, I held him tighter. Try as he may, I continued to hold him. Finally, sensing my intentions, I felt his hands covering over mine. Quiet sniffles filled the room, and his body began to shake. I knew what was happening, so I stayed still, letting my head rest on his back as he let out what he’d been hiding from the whole world. For a few minutes he would play with my fingers and then he’d keep them still for a few more.

After some time had passed, he turned around, forcing me to let go of my hold on him. His eyes were red and his face was soaked with his emotional breakdown. He said nothing, so I grabbed him by the hand and we sat down on the couch side by side. I could tell that he didn’t want to talk. I kept his hand in mine and put my other hand over it.

Ramsey caught me off guard when he started talking. “It was cold that night. We’d just left a party at one of our new neighbors houses. The snow was falling when we left, but I was certain that I could get us home safe.” He paused and wiped his face again with his opposite hand. “I promised Katie that we could build a snowman in the morning. We were talking about decorating it, and in a matter of seconds, they were gone. They were right next to me, Vessa. I cried out to them, over and over and they wouldn’t answer me. My body was pinned down and I couldn’t see them. I told the people to save them first. I told them to let me go.” He began to cry again. “I killed them Vessa. My wife and daughter died because of me.”

“It’s not your fault. Ramsey, it was a terrible accident. You can’t blame yourself for what happened that night.”

He looked up with eyes full of tears. “They died because of me. Katie never got to build that snowman.” He stood up and kicked the table. “All she wanted was a f**king snowman.” Ramsey’s knees got weak and he sat back down beside me. This time, I pulled his head into my chest and let him cry. I could feel his warm tears running down my skin.

To be honest, I’d never seen a grown man so overcome by emotions. Gavin had cried the first time I wanted to separate, but it didn’t compare to this situation. I ran my hands through the hair that I had fantasized about for weeks, except it was for comfort instead of a turn on.

Once he had finally calmed down enough. He got up and went to the bathroom. When he finally came out, he leaned against the wall and looked right at me. I’d folded my hands and was just sitting there, wondering what in the hell had got me to this very moment. “Are you okay?”

He shrugged.

“I’ve been better.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I knew. I wanted you to tell me yourself.”

“That probably would have never happened, especially since I said I never wanted to see you again. The thing is, you were bound to find out. It was only a matter of time before Sue found out and told you. Word travels through small towns.” He sat back down next to me, but looked forward. “I didn’t want to your pity. I know what happed that night. I just can’t hear one more person tell me how sorry they are. They have no idea what it’s been like for me. I couldn’t face it. It’s why I moved out here in the first place.”

“I won’t tell anyone. The news will blow over anyway. In a few weeks there will be some teenager knocked up by the pastor’s son, or something.”

An air filled chuckle escaped him. “Maybe. They will still know though.”

“Did you really think that you could live out the rest of your life without anyone knowing?” I reached out for his hand, but he pulled away.

“Honestly?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

“For the longest time, I didn’t want to live. I didn’t get why God was punishing me, keeping me here. I mean, how could he let them die and keep me alive? They were so innocent. They didn’t deserve to die.”

“My mother died a while back. She was my very best friend. It wasn’t an accident that took her. It was cancer. Anyway, the reason I am telling you this is because, right before she died, I said the same thing. She told me that this life on earth was just a test for us to go to heaven. She said that the true at heart die young because they don’t need to live the trial like others. I thought it was just her medication making her say things, but after she passed, I looked around the hospital at all of those young children battling cancer. That’s when I understood what she was saying and started to believe it myself. I don’t know what you believe, Ramsey, and maybe saying this might make you hate me even more, but I have to believe that your girls are in a better place. They’d want you to be happy in this life, for however long you have it. You’ll see them again one day and all the time that has passed will mean nothing.”

He smiled, but remained quiet for a moment. We sat in silence.

I was pretty certain he was going to pick me up and carry me outside to my car.

Instead, he grabbed my hand and started playing with it. “You’re the first person that I’ve talked to about this. Your mom sounds like a great woman. I can see how her and Sue were sisters. They have a way with people, don’t they?”

“That they do.”

“Can I ask you something?”

I smiled and watched him playing with my hand. “Anything.”