Hustle Him (Bank Shot Romance #2)(29)
Author: Jennifer Foor

My mind went back to that cold winter day the funeral took place on. So many people had come out to support me, but by then, I’d already completely shut down. Not even my parents could make a bit of difference. From the moment of the accident, after I’d looked over and realized that they were gone, nothing could ever be the same for me.

“I miss you so much, my sweet girl. Daddy thinks about you every single second.” I didn’t care if someone saw me breaking down. This was between me and my girls.

My head leaned down on the large headstone. I didn’t know if she could hear me, but I had to talk to my wife. “If your watching over me, you’re probably pissed right now. I know you wouldn’t want me to live the kind of life that I’ve been living. I just couldn’t stay in that house, Jules. I couldn’t be there and not hear you talking to Katie. When I came home from work, the house was too quiet. For the first week, I slept in Katie’s room. I didn’t know how to live without you two.” I’d never been an emotional kind of guy. Some people would have said that I never showed any, but after they died, all of the pain just took over.

“I think I’m here because I’m feeling guilty about what I’ve been doing. Jules, I know I promised to love you forever, and I meant it. I will love you forever. It’s just that I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. Someone came into my life and as much as I try to distance myself from her, I can’t seem to do it. God, I feel like I cheated on you and I hate myself for it. I just don’t know what to do, babe. I need you to tell me. Was it just a coincidence that I met her the same way I lost you? You know I never believed in all of this before, but did you send her to me? I get that I haven’t been living up to my potential. I just wanted to give up. I wanted to be with you and Katie. Please, Jules, I need you to give me some kind of sign that I’m doing the right thing. I want you to yell at me for sleeping with Vessa. Tell me you’re mad. Scream at me. Please! You always used to tell me about signs. You said everything happens for a reason. I need a sign, babe. I need something so bad.”

I kept my head against the stone, even after I had run out of things to say. It was quiet and birds were chirping in the trees that were placed around the cemetery. The morning dew had all but dried due to the bright sun having been up for a while. I knew I’d been talking to myself as some kind of therapeutic last resort. Before standing up and leaving, with no more answers than when I had first got there, I needed to say one more thing. “I can’t live like this anymore, Jules. I’ll never stop loving you and Katie, but if I can’t be with you, I need to know if it’s okay to live again. I need to know that it’s what you’d want for me.”

If I tried to tell someone what happened next, they would have never believed it. At the time, I didn’t even believe it myself. There wasn’t a single cloud in the sky, but it started to rain. I stood up and let it fall all around me. Now, I know it could have just been some kind of fluke weather condition, except I needed a sign and I was too caught up to consider that it could be anything but that.

I was raised catholic. I’d heard of spirits and exorcisms and miracles. I gave my wife her first cross and had our priest bless it. Was there such thing as divine intervention?

It had to be.

The rain shower disappeared after only a few minutes and the birds went back to chirping. With soaked clothes, I walked back to my truck and got inside. I think I must have sat there for over an hour shaking at what had just happened. Like I said before, I knew it was probably just my imagination, but it was enough for me to question my actions.

I think all along I knew that the way I was living was only hurting myself. People cope in different ways. I needed time alone. I needed to be able to let go enough to live again.

Now I just needed to figure out how to make things right again. Before I could even consider what my feelings for Vessa were, I needed to do some serious damage control on everything else in my life. It was the only way for me to be sure that I was making the right decision.

Chapter 14

Vessa

After sleeping with Ramsey, and leaving the way I had, I sat in my car crying in my driveway for the longest time. My aunt finally had to come out in her night clothes and get me to come into the house. I think when she saw what kind of condition I was in, she was afraid to ask me what happened.

Things got even worse for me the next morning. Apparently Logan had called his father while the babysitter was watching him. He told him all about Ramsey taking him fishing and getting ice-cream. Since I wasn’t present during the conversation, I couldn’t be sure what all else he had told his father.

When my cell phone rang that morning, I got an earful from Gavin.

Hello?

It didn’t take you long to move on, I hear. Did you just think you could replace with a new daddy for our kids, Vessa? You really think I would be okay with that?

First of all, you need to talk to me, not our son. The sheriff is not my boyfriend and I was never trying to replace you. My aunt asked him to take Logan fishing since you were too busy to do it.

You think I’m going to believe that?

I don’t care what you think.

Why was there a babysitter at the house last night? You want to tell me that you weren’t with that guy?

I had to work.

Bullshit, Vessa. I called the bar and your aunt asked if I was Ramsey and then said you weren’t there. I think you two need to go over your stories a little more if you want people to believe them. Just so we are clear, I’ve already called my lawyer. She thinks we have a stronger case now that you’ve also strayed from our marriage.

I never…

Save it. Consider us even. Now the judge can decide who the kids should live with.

You know you don’t want them full time, Gavin. Please don’t take them from me. I don’t have a boyfriend. Ramsey isn’t even my friend. He just lost his wife and daughter in a terrible accident. The man can’t even take care of himself. I swear, I’m telling you the truth.

Well, I don’t believe you.

When did you get a lawyer?

My parents got her for me. She also said something about getting you for taking our kids out of state.

Gavin, I’m begging you. Please don’t do this to me. You know that our kids are my whole world. If you ever loved me at all, if our marriage ever meant anything to you, please don’t do this. I was a good wife to you. Please reconsider.

The only way I would reconsider now, is if you moved back home and gave us another chance.