Hustle Me (Bank Shot Romance #1)(53)
Author: Jennifer Foor

Chapter 31

Charlie

After a long night of love making, I woke up to being alone in bed. It was never a big concern because Jammer was always out doing something with my little brother. I got up like I normally did, first going into the bathroom and brushing my teeth, before making my way into the kitchen.

Jammer always made coffee in the morning. It was something that I appreciated so much. I think he just hated the fact that I was such a grump without it. Ryan was on the couch watching cartoons and I smiled as I headed straight for a clean cup. It wasn’t uncommon for Jammer to have already walked downstairs or gone into his room to change. Yeah, we shared a room, but he kept his things in the back bedroom since I had so much of my own.

When I got to the kitchen and saw the folded up piece of paper, I thought nothing of it. Figuring that he probably had something to do, I continued to make my coffee. Looking back, I guess I should have known that there was something wrong. I mean, my life didn’t exactly go as planned, but still, I wanted to think that Jammer and I would be together to see things through. After all, I was completely in love with him. The things that my heart made me feel for Jammer were so intense. He owned every single inch of my body and I wanted to be with him completely. Aside from giving me hope, he’d given me the missing piece of the family that I had so long desired. His compassion and heart, that he kept hidden inside of his rough and tattooed looking appearance, was the most intense thing I’d ever experienced. Even before I knew him, there was probably some kind of spark between us.

I looked over at my brother watching television. He loved his cartoons and I wondered if Jammer had turned them on before he ran his errand. When I thought about him going to see his disgusting father, I grabbed the letter and began to worry. Nothing could have prepared me for what that little white paper held inside of it.

Charlie,

For so long I felt like I was happy with my life. I’ve drifted around from place to place, never wanting to settle down and change the person that I had become. As you already know, the only reason I came to town was to see your father. I owed him and wanted to give him the thanks he deserved. After meeting you and finding out that you were having trouble, I felt inclined to help you. I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t feel the immediate connection between us. It was intense and I became curious why it was even happening. I don’t usually connect with girls, I just f**k them.

So after spending time with you, I thought that maybe we could really be having something. The more time we spent, the more intense my feelings became. Honestly, I tried to fight them, because Charlie, I’m not the kind of guy that settles down and plays house. For what it’s worth, I gave it my all. I tried to be happy with the little family scene. But, I guess all good things must come to an end. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t stay and pretend that I want this kind of future with you or anyone else.

Playing pool is all I’ve ever been good at, so I figure that this way it is a win win for both of us. Me leaving gives you back full ownership of the tavern. By the time you read this, I will have already been to the lawyer’s office and released my quarter ownership to you and Ryan. Please don’t try to stop me. I think it’s best if this is the last contact we have. I can understand that this is going to hurt your feelings.

I hope one day you can forgive me for giving you false hope. I want you to be happy, Charlie; I just can’t be the one to do that for you. Bottom line is, I’ve been lying to you from the beginning. I knew we would never work out. Like I said before, I’m just not that kind of guy.

I know you’re going to question if I ever loved you. Honestly, I don’t know what love is. Sure, I had intense feelings, but I think it tells you something if all I wanted to do was walk away.

Take care of yourself, Lena.

My deepest apologies,

John (Jammer)

I think I was already crying when I read the first sentence. This had to be a bad dream. How could something so beautiful not have been real? I felt it. This made no sense.

Was he lying the whole time we were together?

I leaned my body onto the counter top and covered my face with my hands. I couldn’t control the tears and sheer emptiness that was overwhelming me. He was gone. He took everything I had felt for him and mimicked it for what? Was this how he lived his life? Did he just travel from place to place seducing women into thinking they were special? It made no sense.

How could I have not known the real him?

More tears came and soon I felt two little arms reaching around me. "What’s wrong, Charlie?"

I tried to wipe my eyes, but the tears just kept falling from my eyes. "Jammer’s gone."

"Well, when will he be back?" He loved him so much.

I closed my eyes and crouched down to hug my brother. When I pulled away and looked at his face, I knew I had to tell him the truth. "He’s…he’s not coming back, Ry."

He started to cry immediately. "Charlie, tell him I’m sorry for getting sick. I didn’t mean to make him mad. Please tell him I feel better now and he can come home. I won’t get sick anymore, I promise."

My poor little brother thought that because he got sick, Jammer had decided to leave. He didn’t understand that people would never leave for that reason. "Oh, Ry, he didn’t leave because you got sick. He left because…" It was so hard to say out loud. "He left because he didn’t love me." More tears fell and I leaned my head on my brother’s shoulder.

He rubbed my back like an adult would do. "It’s okay, Charlie. I won’t ever leave you. I love you."

I cried more. Maybe it was because of Jammer, but part was because I really did have someone that loved me unconditionally. I felt the connection to my brother and knew that it was a real love. Sure, he was a little kid, but we were a family, with or without Jammer. "I love you, too."

I pulled away from him and wiped his eyes, while he tried to wipe mine. I leaned into his little hand on my cheek. "He’s going to come back, you know."

He was so confused. "I wish that were the truth, Ry. He says he isn’t the kind of guy to live in one place. He likes to travel and we can’t do that. You have school and I have to run the tavern." I was trying to assure him that it wasn’t because of him.

"Charlie, Jammer is going to come back because he loves you too."

I cried even more. "I wish that were true. Sometimes the person you love doesn’t love you back."

He nodded his head. "I know, my mother didn’t love me back. She didn’t want me."

I was shocked that the little guy felt that way. "Why would you say that?"

He looked down at the floor. "She used to yell it all the time. That’s why Daddy made her leave. Daddy always loved me."