If Forever Comes (Take This Regret #2)(13)
Author: A.L. Jackson

My fingers played along the collar of his white button-up before I brushed them up his neck and through the stubble that coated the sharp angle of his jaw. Touching him sent tingles rippling in the slowest wave, covering every inch of my body. I bit at my lip to hide my affected grin. Christian managed to make me feel things that shouldn’t be possible, the softest brushes of skin igniting me through, setting me afire.

He tipped his head down so he could smile at me. “I’m so glad you’re starting to feel a little better. It was killing me seeing you so miserable day after day.”

I met his gaze. “I’d expected it to be that bad the entire time. And you know I would have happily gone through it, but I can’t tell you how relieved I am that it’s starting to go away. I’d been hoping this whole time I would feel well on our wedding and honeymoon.”

It wasn’t completely gone, not by any means. I still woke up and rushed to the bathroom every morning. But I could eat and I could work and I could easily make it through the day.

“Mmm…” His chest rumbled with the sexy sound, and the arm wound around my waist tightened its hold. “You’d better start saving your energy now.” He raised a teasing, suggestive brow.

I laughed. “Oh, I’d better, huh?”

“Mmmhmm. You won’t be getting any rest during those two weeks.”

Deep, penetrating bliss slipped through my veins, and this time, there was no concealing the smile that lit up my mouth. I could feel the force of it, the joy Christian brought me manifesting as a declaration on my face. Even with my expanding waist, Christian made me feel like I was the most desirable woman in the world. Like I was the center of his.

I no longer had any reservations believing it.

We settled into the comfort of the silence, and for the longest time, we just lay there wrapped up in each other. Christian ran his fingers through the length of my hair as I rested my head on his shoulder. Shadows danced and played across the ceiling, silhouettes twisting into unfathomable images that I only saw in my mind, flickers of imagined innuendo like glimpses into our future. The two of us seemed to get lost in it. Heat radiated from his skin, blanketing me, keeping me warm.

I’d be happy to stay in this spot forever.

Something deep had worked its way into Christian’s consciousness, the severity of his thoughts almost palpable in the quiet of the room. He shifted farther to his side and laid me down on my back. His large hand came to rest on the tiny protuberance jutting out just below my belly button, his expression suddenly brimming with intensity.

My fingers fluttered up to his face, and I took in the serious lines etched deep at the corners of his eyes.

“What is it?” I whispered.

His throat bobbed as he swallowed deeply, and he turned away to look at the wall as he seemed to gather his thoughts. Then he locked his sharp gaze on me as he increased the pressure over the spot where our child rested.

“I just want to be a good father, Elizabeth. Sometimes it scares me that I don’t know how.” The words flowed like an admission, like a hidden worry that had plagued him, something old that had haunted him in the night. He stiffened. “I’m scared of what Lizzie’s going to think once she really understands what I did. What’s going to happen when she realizes her dad was a coward? That he left her mother when she needed him most? And what happens if I don’t know how to show this baby how much love I have for her?”

Her.

It always brought a grin to me because he was so sure of it.

Even in the times when he wasn’t so sure of himself.

We’d both taken to calling the child her, even though we wouldn’t know for certain for another five weeks.

Everything in his expression was sincere. My eyes narrowed as I looked at him seriously. “Christian, you don’t see what I see.” What I’d seen since I’d finally allowed myself to believe. “Every time you look at our daughter, your devotion is clear. There is no question of it. Lizzie isn’t going to question it, either. You’re her hero. Just continue to love her the way you do. Be there for her when she needs you…show her the right way when she does something wrong, encourage her when she does something right.”

My hand traveled down to cover Christian’s where it was splayed wide across my stomach. “And this baby?” I pressed down in emphasis. “You’ve adored her since the second we found out.”

God, Christian and I had fallen in love with this child. Upside down in love. He spent hours murmuring to her with his mouth pressed to my belly, the two of us cradling her together, much like we were doing now. And dreaming…dreaming of what she would look like, imagining the sound of her voice. Would she be quiet like Lizzie or stir our house into the perfect kind of frenzy?

But I guess we weren’t prepared for how great our love really was on the morning we walked in for my first ultrasound three weeks ago at the twelve-week mark.

Seeing her for the first time…it’d jarred something loose inside of me, a spot for her permanently carved into my spirit. And Christian… He’d been overcome. Undone. I was sure the man would never be the same.

“Do you really think there’s any possibility she won’t know how much you love her? There’s no chance, Christian.”

Blue eyes flashed the deepest emotion as he gripped me, palming the small bump that fit perfectly in his hand. “I love this child so much. Love my little Lizzie so much.” He dipped down and kissed me, just the simplest brush of his lips, but still something that spoke of his passion. “God, I love you.”

I ran my fingers up the planes of his chest and over his shoulders, couldn’t look away from this gorgeous man whose presence filled up that void in me that had ached for so many years.

“Then you can’t go wrong.”

He slipped his hand up and spread his long fingers out over my chest, his fingertips ghosting along my collarbones. I could feel my heartbeat thrum steadily under them, his touch evoking a deep sense of security inside of me.

“What do you want to do, Elizabeth?”

Caught off guard by the abrupt shift in his tone, I frowned. “What do you mean?”

Christian tightened his hold, his grip like a vise as he locked himself to me. Intense. Almost demanding.

“I want to know what you want to do with your life. Do you want to go back to law school and become an attorney? Is that still what you want?” A harsh breath escaped him. “I can’t stop thinking about all the times we talked when we were in college, all the dreams you had. You were going to save the world, Elizabeth, and I wanted to be there to watch you do it.”