In Seconds (Bulletproof #2)(7)
Author: Brenda Novak

“Exactly. You don’t flirt. You don’t date. You don’t sleep around. You don’t get involved in church or the school board or the politics of this town.”

“I take the kids to church on Sundays.”

“That’s it, though. You rarely even go out for a drink. As far as I can tell, your social life consists of having Claire over to watch an occasional movie and book group on Thursday nights. You live in the background of a place that’s already in the background. Why?”

Oh, God. She shouldn’t have had him come here, let alone served him a drink. “I’m too busy with my business and raising my children.”

“You don’t feel the need for intimacy?”

He wasn’t talking about sex but, thanks to the wine, that was precisely where her mind went. By the time her marriage ended, she’d cringed whenever Tom touched her. But her opinion of making love had improved once she met Rex McCready. Giving pleasure was one thing Rex could do right. “How do you know I’m not in a relationship?”

“I’d notice if a man came to the house.”

Was he as preoccupied with her as she was with him? She hoped not. For the past several months she’d been absolutely infatuated. He and he alone occupied her thoughts during the long nights when she was too tired to work but couldn’t sleep. Claire was starting to pick up on her interest and badger her about why she kept turning him down.

More wine. Right away. Getting up, she retrieved the bottle and poured herself another glass. She offered him a refill, too, but he shook his head. “Maybe I had a bad experience, so I’m hesitant to take the risk,” she murmured.

He ran a finger over his lip in a thoughtful gesture. “Bad in what way?”

The anxiety that’d been gnawing at her seemed to have lost its teeth, but she held fast to the rules she’d established for herself when she moved here. She was already too close to Claire; she didn’t need to wag her tongue to the sheriff. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

That should’ve been direct enough to head him off. He couldn’t possibly have missed her “you’re treading too close” signal. But the sheriff wouldn’t let it go. Not tonight. “What’d he do to you?”

She downed more wine as she searched for a casual response. But even the alcohol couldn’t stifle the painful memories. Tom forcing her to have sex with him several times a night whether she was interested or not. Tom heaping on the guilt simply because she craved other people and relationships in her life, especially girlfriends. Tom undermining her attempts to get a job so she’d be completely dependent on him. And then there was the physical abuse, the worst of which she’d blocked out…?.

When she finished what was in her glass, the sheriff was still waiting, and watching her closely. “He was abusive, okay? I’m sure you’ve guessed that already. But if you want to hear me say it, I just did.”

“Physically?”

She winced as she remembered some of the humiliating things Tom had made her do, how easily he’d been able to manipulate her because of their children. “Yes.”

He leaned over and touched the scar where Tom had cut his initials into her arm. “Did he do this to you?”

That had been minor, compared to some of the other stuff. She pulled away. “That and more.”

“Where is he now?”

“I don’t know. I just hope he never finds me.” There were others she feared far more, but she couldn’t tell him that. This would appease the sheriff’s curiosity; make him believe he understood why she was so withdrawn and secretive. Make him stop questioning her about the past.

“You think he’s looking?”

“He could be.” She’d had a lot to drink tonight, too much, and wanted even more—anything to further numb the sharp edge of fear—so she refilled her glass.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I wouldn’t have pushed. Except…I’ve tried asking you out so many times.”

She didn’t want to talk about them. “Sheriff, please.”

“Sheriff?”

“Myles, then.” It wasn’t easy to say his name; it felt too familiar. “In case you haven’t guessed, I’m not interested in a relationship.”

Instead of getting offended, he leaned forward again and caught her chin so she had to meet his eyes. “Is that right?”

She got the impression he wanted to touch her. Desperate for even this small amount of contact—it’d been so long since she’d been with a man—she drew a shallow breath. “You don’t believe it?”

“Sometimes the way you look at me is…a bit contradictory.”

Gazing at him from beneath her lashes, she attempted to deny it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Take now, for instance.”

The wine was going to her head. But she welcomed it. She’d had to battle for her life and the lives of her children for so many years that she felt too weary to continue. “Now?” she repeated.

“Yeah, now. This very second. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re definitely…interested.”

He could’ve said aroused, because she was. The warmth of his body appealed to her, the hard muscle, the completion he could offer, but… “Not in a relationship,” she said.

“Then what?” The softness of his voice begged her to level with him, but she couldn’t. The fantasies she’d indulged in over the past twelve months stood between them. So did his job.

“N-nothing.”

“You know I’d never hurt you the way your ex did, right?” He ran his fingers down her arm, light as a faint breeze.

“Look, you—you don’t want to get involved with me,” she said, but turned her hand over to reveal the more sensitive skin on the inside of her wrist.

“You’re sending me mixed messages again,” he pointed out.

She couldn’t seem to help herself. Although she was starved for the physical stimulation she’d grown accustomed to during the year she’d spent with her brother’s best friend and former cell mate, she couldn’t let this go any further. Myles had a daughter. And he’d suffered enough with the loss of his wife. She needed to take that into consideration. She’d hate herself if she brought any more pain and unhappiness into their lives.

“You’ll have to trust what I say.”