Insider (Exodus End #1)(93)
Author: Olivia Cunning

May 5

Dear Journal,

Sorry I missed writing to you yesterday. I was really busy. First with interviews, then with Logan. I almost didn’t write again today, but my head is so full of thoughts right now, I can’t contain them. The same cannot be said for Logan. It’s almost noon and he’s still asleep. I didn’t want to disturb him on his day off, but I was starting to get bored, so I decided to write.

Yesterday I did all my interviews with the band. Most of what they told me can’t be used in the book. Figures, right? It’s good that they trust me enough to tell me their secrets, but I do need material I can actually include. There’s one secret incident that Reagan actually wants me to spill in the book. And I guess I don’t blame her.

A couple of weeks ago someone tried to kidnap and kill her. And the public doesn’t know about it. I can’t believe it was covered up. I Googled the incident before we arrived at the hotel and the full story isn’t online anywhere. There is a short report about Pyre Vamp assaulting someone and being arrested, but it doesn’t say who he assaulted or what happened. I didn’t think it was legal to cover up crimes and protect the culprit. And maybe it’s not. So I’m going to write something about it in the book. Hopefully it’ll make Reagan feel better. She seemed really upset that it’s being kept a secret. But I think she’d be more upset if her other secret became public.

Reagan admitted to me that she’s dating both Trey and Ethan—Ethan’s her bodyguard, by the way. Even more shocking is that Trey and Ethan have sex with each other too. So they have a committed threesome. I don’t get how that works exactly. I guess I’m dense. Logan said he’s had threesomes before and even suggested that Steve would be a willing participant if I wanted to try it, but I don’t think I’m brazen enough to be naked in front of two men. He also said something about him being with two women at once and while I might be okay with being intimate with another woman, I don’t think I’d be able to stand watching her touch Logan. He’s mine.

Or I want him to be. He guards his heart so fiercely, I’m afraid he’ll never let me in.

He did open up to me a little during our interview. He told me about his estrangement with his brother. I can tell that he’s hurt more than mad. Logan apparently feels that he was replaced in his brother’s life by his stepbrother. I was surprised the two of them never made amends—they’re brothers. I can’t imagine letting anything come between Birdie and me. Unfortunately, I don’t think Logan has ever told his brother how he feels. I guess that’s to be expected. Logan has a very hard time admitting his feelings to me too. He probably never even told his mom how hurt he was to be excluded from her happy little family. I guess his relationship with his dad is pretty distant as well. It’s no wonder he tries to keep me from getting too close. But too bad. I’m not backing away.

I talked to Birdie for a little bit this morning. She had to go to school, so we didn’t get to talk long. I feel bad that I’m on this assignment and left her at home. I know I need to make a life for myself, but surely there’s a way to include Birdie in it. I’ll have to think about it. She seems to be doing okay with Mom, but I can tell she misses me. I miss her too.

So what else has happened since last I wrote?

Oh yeah—Steve’s ex-wife. I read things about her when I was doing my research and he’s right, he always comes across as the bad guy in their divorce. I never even questioned the tone of the information out there. Even when the truth is told, it can be worded in such a way that points a finger or exaggerates or understates or picks sides. I must be careful with my own phrasing in the book. The written word is arguably the most powerful tool on Earth. Too often it’s used to cause harm. I can tell it bothers Steve to always be portrayed as the one at fault for the breakup. I don’t think I’ll pry about it. I don’t want anyone to get hurt by something I write.

Dare said he might be able to talk the band into creating a song just for the book and letting me be a part of it. Wouldn’t that be cool? He came up with the idea. And he told me all sorts of stuff about their creative process. Sounds stressful. I hope they don’t throw things around the room. I’ll have to wear a helmet.

I need to remember to make a copy of Susan’s questions for Max. He didn’t like being put on the spot during the interview. Actually, if the guys are willing to sit there and write out answers, I should probably do the same for them all. They’ve been so great to me, I’d hate to be a pest. But damn, Susan is a total bitch. If I could show I already had all of her stupid questions answered, maybe she’d quit pestering me. Or maybe if I answered her text messages and told her to fuck off and leave me alone, she’d go away.

Highly doubtful.

Okay, I think Logan has slept long enough. I wonder if he’ll mind if I wake him up with a kiss.

On his cock. And let’s find out how much he likes a vibrator up his ass.

Feeling-frisky,

Toni

Twenty-Four

Needing something to do with her hands besides put them all over Logan, Toni switched on her video recorder to capture footage inside and outside the limo. After their thirty-six hour marathon of sex, fun, and more sex had come to a climactic end that morning, Toni thought she’d be able to concentrate on her work today. But all the man had to do was sit beside her and she was wondering how long she’d have to wait before she could get him naked.

Unfortunately, getting naked wouldn’t be happening soon. The line of Exodus End fans in front of the record store was five deep and wrapped around the block.

“Looks like we’ll be here for a while,” Logan said.

Darn. She hadn’t known what to expect at a record store signing in Billings, Montana. She should have known that fans would drive for miles for the privilege of meeting the band.

The limo drove around to the back of the store and the band members were escorted inside by Exodus End’s security team, which had arrived a few minutes before them. Once again Toni was allowed to follow them behind the scenes. They ended up in a storeroom where some woman fussed over Max’s hair for ten minutes. Toni snapped a couple of pictures, not sure if she’d include a chapter on preparation for public appearances, but it was better to collect too much information than not enough.

Noting that her video camera was already out of storage, Toni put a new memory card and freshly recharged batteries into the device, which she could also use to take still shots. Someone stepped up behind her, and she knew by the way her body yearned for his that the person was Logan.