Isabella (The Mitchell/Healy Family #2)(19)
Author: Jennifer Foor

I covered my mouth with my hands. “Oh no.”

He cried harder as he attempted to finish. “She just wanted to be with our daughter again. She couldn’t live without her.”

What was I supposed to say to him? I didn’t know where to begin. He’d brought me our here to save a life, while drudging up the memories of something that no person should ever have to endure. “I am so so sorry.” It was all I could come up with. While fighting my own tears I sat there watching him break down over the loss of his family. I wondered how many nights he’d sat awake wondering what could have been if they’d both lived. I thought about him being alone in that old trailer, and how he’d preferred to bottle up all of that pain for so long.

It made me feel like the devil. I’d flaunted my perfect life in front of him, while he desperately tried to communicate. He’d been so kind to me, while living with a secret that ripped him apart.

A wave of regret hit me, causing me to get up and leave him sitting there alone. I couldn’t handle it any longer. It was as if I’d known them and watched it all fall apart. I was living through his memories of them, experiencing what he went through firsthand. It was all too much to bear.

One thing was for certain as I watched him from afar. I was going to keep my baby, and treasure every single moment of that child’s life, because it was a blessing. My family was going to have to help me, and they wouldn’t be happy about it, but I didn’t care.

Chapter 12

Rusty

When I started driving, I hadn’t considered what it would be like for me. I couldn’t have known that I’d break down in front of her like that. Even when I was losing control of my emotions, I could feel her responding in a way that she’d never done before.

For the first time she trusted me. All it took was for me to bear my soul to her.

She needed to know, though. She needed to know how precious life was, so that any inclination of wanting an abortion would be gone forever.

After I’d broken down and told her about my family, she gave me some time to be alone. It was difficult for me to be there, knowing that beneath me in the ground were the two people that I’d loved more than life itself.

I wished that I could hate my wife for taking her own life, but understood why she felt it necessary to do so. Living every single day, waking up and knowing they were gone, was my own personal hell. For so long I’d been alone, never wanting to get close to anyone, in fear of losing them. I’d made peace with living in seclusion, because it gave me a sense of security.

Then I saw her one day from afar. She was feeding one of the horses an apple, while I stood in the stables watching. Even before I peered into those familiar green eyes, I was attracted to something else. She had this contagious smile, and when she was all by herself, she’d hold her head up high, as if nothing could bring her down.

Things had changed since that first day she’d caught my eye. Isabella had gone through a lot, and it had taken a toll on the way she carried herself.

I don’t know why I thought taking her to my family’s gravesite would somehow bring her to change her mind. I suppose that for a little while I lost my ability to rationalize with what I was doing. The moment I saw her so torn up in front of that clinic I knew that nothing was going to stop me until I had my point across.

The problem with my theory was that there were going to be after effects. Isabella knew my secret, and it was only a matter of time before the whole Mitchell family found out. Then I’d be faced with a decision. I could face the life that I’d left behind, or move on to another place where my past wouldn’t come back to haunt me.

For the time being, my focus had to stay on Isabella. She wouldn’t admit that she needed me, but I knew otherwise.

When I finally gained enough courage to move, I noticed that she was standing against my truck. I walked slowly, trying to think of something to say the lighten the mood. In my sudden situation I knew that nothing was going to work. It was a good thing that she took the lead. “Hey. How about we get somethin’ to eat. My treat.”

In that moment I knew that this whole ordeal had turned the tables on who was the vulnerable one. Isabella felt sorry for me, and she was willing to be nice to make it easier to cope.

At any rate, I wanted to be around her as much as possible. “Sure. That sounds nice.”

My old hometown remained the same as the day I’d left it. I drove on the outskirts, avoiding passing by where I used to live with my wife and child. I’d already suffered enough for one day. To make sure that I didn’t see anyone I knew, I took her to an old truck stop that served breakfast twenty-four hours. I could tell that she was fine with it when she started talking about one that she’d been to a long time ago with her parents.

By the time the waitress came to our table I’d heard all about their road trip that they took one summer. It was nice hearing her talk about details in her life. Had it been one day earlier I would have only gotten a wave. Somehow confessing my tragedy had changed the way she acted around me.

“I’m sorry again for today. I had no right to put you through that. I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t find it comforting that you saw me lose it like that.”

She reached cross the table and touched my hand. “It’s okay. I totally understand.”

I could have played the hand that I’d been dealt with two ways.

I could take advantage of the situation and manipulate her into liking me, or I could face the facts and understand that she was doing this out of pity. Either way it was a loss for my ego. No matter how I tried to spin it I knew she didn’t like me, and that she’d never be interested. If I wanted this girl’s attention, I was going to have to get it some other way.

“This town is pretty nice. I would have never pegged you for living in Indiana.”

I took a sip of soda and laughed at the way she was looking at me. It was strange to have her trying to read me.

“This was where my wife’s family is from. I lived in Maryland up until I was fifteen. We moved to Indiana when my father sold his company. I met Simone in college.”

She cut me off before I could continue telling her my story. “Wait. Did you just say you went to college?”

“Yeah. I went to college.”

“And you’re workin’ on a ranch, shovelin’ shit for a livin’?”

I chuckled and messed around with the glass, trying to avoid answering. When I looked up she gave me this look like she wasn’t going to let up until I told her everything. “I left that life behind me a long time ago, Iz.”