Isabella (The Mitchell/Healy Family #2)(22)
Author: Jennifer Foor

To say that I was confused would have been an understatement.

There was no denying my attraction to him, though I wasn’t sure if it was out of feeling sorry for him, or something else all together. Obviously I’d found him attractive before, and I think that’s why it was so confusing to me.

Was my sudden interest in him something that was building, or something that had come on for my utter guilt of what he’d endured?

Rusty scratched his head, and I could tell he had mixed feelings about my question. “We could get a room with two beds, for sure.”

Right away I realized he was trying his hardest to make me feel comfortable. Little did he know that I was fighting a losing battle with my conscience. “That’s what I thought, too.” Far be it from me to give him false hope about hooking up. I was in no condition to lead him on, but I was also the one sitting silently imagining what it would be like if we did do something.

“Yeah, I guess it would be fine if we stayed somewhere local and made the drive in the morning. I apologize again for bringing you so far from home. My intentions were in the right place, I can assure you.”

I smiled, still wondering if he was blowing me off, or being kind in fear of how I’d react. “If I had any doubts about my decision, they’re all gone. I’m goin’ to have this baby. Even if I’d made it inside of that building, there was no way I would have been able to go through with it. The decision to make the appointment wasn’t my highest moment. You can imagine that it’s been difficult for me to cope with this news.”

“I can understand how one would think that an abortion is an easy out.”

I appreciated his sympathy. “Thanks. It means a lot that you aren’t lookin’ at me like I was a monster.”

He reached across the table and touched my hand. I didn’t pull away for two reasons. The first was that I knew he was being genuinely kindhearted. The second reason was because his touch gave me chills throughout my body. “I would never see you that way.”

I had to look away when the heat of his words overwhelmed me. I could feel my heartbeat increasing, and knew that my reaction was only verifying what I could already feel was happening between us.

After our conversation I felt even more eager to be alone with Rusty. I wanted to know everything about him, and this night, being away from home, was going to give me the chance.

We drove a for a while before he pulled into a nice hotel. He started to get out of the truck and stopped to say something to me. “Wait here. It’s probably best if you let me pay for the room. I don’t want your cousin knowing that we’re together, so go ahead and call someone at the ranch. I don’t care what you tell them. I sent Noah a text this morning when I followed you. I knew I wouldn’t be in any condition to work either way it went, so I told him that I had a family emergency.”

“Clever. He’s probably going to ask you about it.”

“I’ll make up something. Just take care on your side.” He walked away, leaving me alone to think up a good excuse that would keep me away from home. After a few minutes I had the perfect idea.

Can you get Rusty to check on my house tonight? I had to drive all the way to West Virginia today to meet with our partner company. It was last minute and I’m just going to spend the night here. I’m not sure if I turned off my coffee pot. –Bella

He responded immediately.

I’ll do it. Rusty took the day off. The house hasn’t burned down, so that’s a good sign. – Noah

Okay, thanks. See you tomorrow then. – Bella

Rusty came outside with a key card in his hand. “You ready?”

I climbed out of the truck and followed him inside, where we took an elevator up to the fourth floor. Once inside of the room we both plopped down on the two beds and laid there in silence for a few seconds. “I’m so tired,” I announced.

“Yeah. It’s been a long day.” He hopped off the bed and started walking toward the door. “I’m goin’ to run out and find a place to get us some waters. Do you want anything else?”

I sat up and looked at him. “Do you want me to go?”

He shook his head. “Nah. Just relax.”

“Okay. I think a toothbrush would be nice. Do you want some money? You paid for the room. The lease I can do is buy you a toothbrush.”

He laughed at me. “I’m pretty sure the hotel has toothbrushes if you call housekeeping.”

I watched him leave before getting up and going in to use the bathroom. After I was done, I started the shower. Rusty would be at least fifteen minutes, so I had time to clean up and crawl into bed. I could sleep in my bra and panties, and make him turn his head when I got up to dress in the morning.

The shower felt wonderful after such an emotional day. While I stood there letting the beads of water run down my body I thought about Rusty. It was possible that he’d used the store as an excuse for some alone time.

The man had been a mystery up until a couple hours ago. I could only imagine that his head would be a little messed up. For so long he’d kept his past a secret. Telling me could have opened up wounds he thought had healed enough to go on.

I felt so bad for him. Even though I wasn’t yet a mother, I still couldn’t imagine what it would be like to watch my child die, and not be able to do anything about it. To some she took the coward way out, but I felt like I would have done the same thing. Her mind wasn’t on Rusty when Simone took her life. All she wanted was to be with her daughter again.

I hadn’t meant to start crying again, but that’s exactly what began to happen. Waves of tears started pouring out of my eyes until I let my body sink to the tub bottom. I brought my knees up to my chest and let the sobs continue.

I thought about that man being so in love with his family, and what it was like to wake up one day without them. My heart ached, and I knew that everything I’d ever thought about him had been untrue. This man wasn’t just running, he was doing his best to get by. Meeting me had changed something in him, and now after all this time he was beginning to feel again.

Whether I wanted to admit it or not, there was this connection that I felt to him. It wasn’t just because he’d tried to save me from making a terrible choice. It was more. When I needed him, he’d always seemed to be there. He’d been trying to know me for a while and I’d pushed him away.

I thought he was a creep.

Little did I know that he was yearning for a friendship. He longed to feel needed by someone again. Whether he picked me because I looked like her, or for other reasons, I had to help him. I wanted to do it.