Isabella (The Mitchell/Healy Family #2)(32)
Author: Jennifer Foor

After spending a good hour in her bed, I let her know that I wouldn’t be able to stop visiting her. I put my wet clothes back on, and kissed her goodbye, knowing that I’d have to head back to the trailer to change into dry clothes, before I could even settle in for the night.

It was difficult walking out that door, knowing she was still in bed naked. The annoying wet clothes left a smile on my face as I traveled back to my place, because I knew the reason they were still soaked was worth any lost amount of time.

That night it was hard to stay focused on anything. She was so close, yet unreachable in a sense. If I could only convince Noah that I wasn’t a threat to his family, maybe he could get past his having to protect his cousin from me.

There had to be a way to get into his good graces, and I was determined to make it happen.

She was passed her first trimester, and we both knew that soon she’d have to tell everyone about the baby. As much as I wanted to be there for her, I knew she wasn’t ready to hear that I wanted to be around and help her raise the baby. I’d thought a lot about it, and had made my mind up. Nothing brought me more happiness than being a father. I knew that nobody could ever replace Sydney, but at least I’d be able to feel that kind of love again.

With the upcoming nuptials of her cousin and his girlfriend, Isabella was on edge knowing that the family was coming in for a coed wedding shower. Her little belly was beginning to show, but she did a good job hiding it with baggy jackets, and sweatshirts. Since the weather was getting cooler in the evenings nobody would have questioned it. In fact, she probably could have gotten away with just saying she’d gained a few pounds, and they wouldn’t have known any different.

Still, after worrying about it for so long she was ready to come clean. She was too far along for anyone to even suggest that she not keep the child. Even before we became something more, I think I would have lost my shit if I heard someone talking about that in front of me.

On the afternoon before her parents were due to arrive, she came walking into the stable. I hadn’t spoken to her since I’d left her the night before. I could tell right away that something was bothering her. “What’s wrong?”

She just about fell into my welcoming arms. “I’m scared.”

I held her, while kissing the top of her head. “Don’t be. They love you, and they’ll love your child.”

“I hope you’re right.”

She looked up into my eyes, pulling away from me as she did it.

“It’s going to kill me to not hold you tonight. I know you’re going to be stressed.”

She turned and looked at me with such sad eyes. “If my brother’s weren’t comin’ it would be different. I would probably ask you to come over.”

“All you have to do is say the word. I’ll sneak in once they’re asleep if you want me to.”

Isabella pulled away further. Her indecisive grimace let me know she was more confused than ever. “This changes nothin’ you know. We’re just friends, Rusty.”

“I don’t give a shit what you label this. It’s something, and I’m not going to let you think you’re in this all by yourself. That’s what’s making it so hard. You’re doing this all alone. It ain’t right.”

“Just because I don’t want to be in a relationship with you doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate that. I couldn’t have done any of this without you. I hope you know that.” She rubbed her belly and smiled. “The only reason I’m able to tell them is because I know I won’t be alone, even if they push me away.”

“We talked about this already. They won’t do that.”

“I hope you’re right. I just know my dad. He’s going to flip.”

I smiled, imagining what it would have been like to see Sydney grow up and tell me she was pregnant. A warm feeling of anguish hit me, and it was difficult to ignore. “You better get going. You wouldn’t want Noah to think something’s going on between us, when obviously it’s not.” It was cruel to put it out there like that, but I was fighting my own battles with my heart and couldn’t take anymore rejection.

I knew what had to be done, and was determined to make it happen. She’d never ask me to step in, and a part of me loved her for being independent like that, but another part of me longed for her to need me.

It had been so long since I’d felt this sort of connection. For weeks I’d spent every minute of every single day thinking about being close to her. The time we spent together was awakening, showing me that it was possible for me to move on. I had a reason to wake up every day and smile, and her name was Isabella Mitchell.

Knowing that I was about to be around her whole family, I prepared myself for what was to come. She was going to make that announcement, and I could choose to stand there and let it all play out, or do something drastic to secure my place in her life.

My choice was always the right thing to do. I really didn’t have to think much about it at all. The time for being irrational and overthinking my decisions was long gone. If I wanted this second chance at happiness I was going to have to make sacrifices to have it.

Chapter 20

Isabella

Once again my mind was in a million places. The day had come that I was finally going to announce to the whole family that I was with child. I’d gotten through the first trimester, the morning sickness, the constant lethargy, and every other crappy symptom I suffered from so far. One thing that kept me from going insane was Rusty. He’d been there already for one pregnancy and knew just what I needed. He took care of me a much as I’d let him, and showed me what it was like to feel needed.

Yes, I said it.

I was admitting that there was something more between us than just sex. The more I fought with myself about it, the more I knew it to be the truth.

Of course, I refused to tell him, because I knew that my family couldn’t know about our relationship. It was one thing to tell them that I was carrying Tate’s child, but another story to tell them that I was in a sexual relationship with an older mysterious man. Besides, Noah had warned him to steer clear of me, so it only would put his job in jeopardy.

The other thing that bothered me was the fact that I was falling for a man who could never really love me. He’d lost his wife, and daughter, and been sure to let me know how much I reminded him of them. He’d been drawn to me because of that. In my heart I knew I’d never be able to accept never knowing if it was me he loved, or the connection that I had to his family.