Isabella (The Mitchell/Healy Family #2)(54)
Author: Jennifer Foor

Chapter 33

Isabella

I couldn’t take another minute in that house. Everywhere I looked were reminders of his dead wife, not to mention it was as if we were long lost sisters. The resemblance wasn’t just something his mother had noticed, I too was caught off guard by how uncanny it was. By the time I’d made it inside of that bathroom all I wanted to do was figure out a way to escape. I couldn’t handle seeing that woman looking at me as if she’d seen a ghost.

Now, I could tell the difference in overreacting, and being in shock. That woman was in complete and utter shock. I knew without a doubt that being in her presence wasn’t healthy for either of us.

Whether Rusty knew what was happening, or even if he didn’t, he hadn’t warned me just how much of his family remained in that house. I had no idea what I was walking into. Leaving was my only option.

I know I was supposed to go straight to the hotel, and call him once I was settled, but I was too angry; to angry with him, and with myself. I’d been so naive to think that we could build a future when neither of us was over our past. I’d made one compulsive decision after another, and was left heartbroken and absolutely distraught.

Rusty called my phone until I finally answered.

“I can’t talk to you right now, Rusty. I honestly don’t even know what to say.”

“Just come pick me up. I don’t want to be here without you.”

“That’s too bad. I left the state hours ago.” I really hadn’t I’d been driving around in circles until I came to the cemetery that he’d taken me to. Little did he know I was probably less than a mile away.

“You what?” I knew he was going to freak out. “Iz, I know you’re upset, but that’s no reason to go home. We need to work this out.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? How could you not warn me about your mother?”

“Iz, I haven’t been home in over two years. How was I to know she’d go to such extremes? Just tell me where you are. I’m sure my bike is here in the garage, since pretty much my whole house is exactly the way I left it. You know, you’re not the only one here that’s creeped out. You think I want to come here and see all of Sydney’s things still sitting in her room exactly how she left them? Do you honestly think that is easy for me? Or how about the fact that my mother took me on a tour of my own house, down to the details of how Simone used to organize our junk drawer?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but suddenly understood it from his angle. This wasn’t just difficult for me. It was killing him. “This wasn’t what I had in mind when I asked you to make amends.”

“I know, babe. Trust me, I know. I think I’d forgotten just how crazy my mother could be. Listen, my dad is still sleeping, and it would mean a lot to me if you would just tell me where you are. I’ll come to you. Please, Iz. I need you.”

Sensing the desperation in his voice, I sighed and decided that we were better together, instead of apart. “I’m at the cemetery. Don’t ask how I ended up here, but that’s where I am.”

“Give me a few minutes. I’ll be there. Please don’t go anywhere.”

“I won’t.”

I think I was crying even before I hung up. While I sat down on the stone bench in front of the girl’s graves, I thought about the love they had for each other, and wondered if I’d ever be able to have that kind of love from Rusty. All I knew was that I was totally in love with him, and insanely jealous. The worst part was that I knew I’d never be able to compete with them. Rusty would always love them, and I would never want him not to. It was a problem that I was going to have to learn to live with if I wanted to be happy in my life.

This trip hadn’t just opened my eyes to my feelings and issues with Rusty; it had made me once again think about Tate. I wanted to do the right thing, and not have to go through the hurdles that my parents did with me. It was as if I could either have Rusty, or tell Tate. Rusty wasn’t exactly giving me that ultimatum, but I knew him enough to know he wouldn’t do well with sharing. This to him was a second chance at having a family. It only made sense that he’d want us to always be together, and not have to deal with visitation.

I think if my biological father would have been a normal human being I’d have a different opinion. I feel like he’d never had a right to know me. Because of that experience, I was more okay with the idea of never telling Tate.

While fighting with myself about my own matters of the heart, Rusty rolled up on a bicycle. He had this old ball cap on backwards, and appeared to look half his age. I wanted to giggle, but it wasn’t the time and place. Before he was close enough to hear, I looked down at the two side by side graves. “If you’re out there somewhere watchin’, please help me make the right decision. I love this man, more than I ever thought I could.”

Rusty walked up and put his hands in his pockets. He looked down at the headstones, seemingly wanting me to speak first.

“I’m sorry for runnin’ out on you. I know I overreacted, I just couldn’t take another second in that house.”

“Yeah, I get it. She didn’t mean to freak you out. I think I probably should have warned her.”

I didn’t want to talk about his mother. “Did you get to see your dad at all?”

He shrugged. “Mom wants us to come back for dinner. Before you say no, she’s assured me that she’ll be on her best behavior. I’ve let her know we won’t be staying the night either way. You may not believe this, but I don’t want to be there with that stuff, and it’s not because it brings up old feelings. Iz, don’t you get it? What I feel for you is nothing like I felt for them. It’s new, and it’s different. They may have been my life for a long time, but you’re my future. I don’t want you to try to replace them, but it’s not a competition either.”

I ran my hands over my face as I spoke. “What if I can’t get past that though? It’s selfish and you may hate me for it, but what if I’m not okay with you lovin’ someone else. Even though I know she’s gone, it’s still difficult for me.”

He looked away and the finally back at me. “Look, I didn’t agree to come here to fight with you. I’m trying so hard to be the man you want me to be. Can you please stop making it so hard? Have I not proved to you time and again that I love you?”

“Yes, but it’s not enough for me.”