It Ain't Me, Babe

Sobs ripped up my throat and I broke down right there on the floor. I could hear the sounds of Styx thrashing around again, trying in vain to break free to get to me, to comfort me. I could not handle it anymore. I could not take any more loss.

“Get her. We need to move out.” Rider’s—no—Cain’s command broke me from my sorrowful thoughts. Rising to my knees, I shuffled over to Styx, throwing myself into his body, slick with exertion. “Styx… I love you… I love you.”

Styx growled and snarled as he fought to be free, fought to wrap his arms around my waist. His lips moved as if trying to speak but in vain—only silence… only silence. His words would not come and I could see the frustration on his face.

“Baby, look at me. LOOK AT ME!” I shouted as his desperate eyes met mine. I pleaded, “Do not try and find me.” He frantically shook his head. I pleaded again, “Please. Do not look for me. They will never let me go again. I will never be free of this life. Let me go… Let me go. Protect yourself, protect the club… your brothers.”

Suddenly, large hands gripped my arms. I fought against the strong hold, smashing my lips to Styx’s, needing that connection. I tried to savor his smoky taste, his musky scent. But our fleeting touch was over too soon. I was lifted off my feet and into a tight iron grasp: Cain.

“Noah, Moses, send the Hangmen a message,” Cain commanded and the elders closed in on Styx.

“No! NO!” I screamed over and over. “I love you, Styx. I love you!”

Rider carried me out of Styx’s room and to the stairwell that led to the yard. “Damn you to hell, Cain. Damn you to hell!” I yelled as I fought to get free.

Cain stopped and slammed me against the wall and his blazing eyes bored into mine. “I’m already in hell! This is f**kin’ hell! Seeing you with him… is hell! I’m bringing you back home, away from this sinful place! Back to our people! And away from him!”

Anger blazed through my body. Before I even knew what I had done, I spit in his face. Cain froze as my saliva trickled down his cheek, then into his beard.

“I hate you! How can you take me back to that den of evil after what they did to me for years? You told me you loved me! That was a lie! If you loved me, you would not take me back there. You might as well kill me. JUST KILL ME NOW!”

Cain leaned in real close and once more slammed my back against the hard cement wall, the action robbing me of my breath. “That’s the f**kin’ problem, Salome. I do love you. I’m not meant to. It is forbidden. I was meant to free you for my uncle. Deliver you to Prophet David. And I must. It is the will of the Lord. But I do f**kin’ love you and it is my burden to bear.”

I was even more confused. “What? If you love me, you should let me go. Please…” For a moment, the Rider I knew and loved as my best friend stared back at me, but when Moses, Noah, and Gabriel dragged Styx through the bedroom door, the cold Brother Cain persona reasserted itself.

“Styx!” I screamed as they dragged his bleeding body past me, my heart slamming against my ribs. His head, weak from the pounding he had just taken, lifted at my words. “STYX!” I cried out louder. My body crumpled against the wall… I could not get free. My heart broke as the elders hauled Styx into the yard, and all the time, he fought his restraints, fighting to get back to me.

He will always try to protect me, I thought.

I refocused and stared at Cain. “I will never forgive you for this, Brother Cain,” I hissed, my voice steely and even.

For a moment, a flash of pain sped across Cain’s face as Brother Jacob stopped beside us. Cain straightened my left arm. “Do it!” he ordered Jacob, sternly.

My attention moved to Jacob and I watch helplessly as he held out a long needle and injected it into my outstretched arm.

As my consciousness began to fade, I fought against Cain’s hold. “Never… never… forgive you…”

Chapter Twenty-Two

Styx

I couldn’t speak.

I couldn’t get the words out to say a damn word. Rider. Fuckin’ RIDER! He was one of them. All this time, years of being Road Captain… five years of riding with the Hangmen, front line at gun runs and deals… and he was one of them!

Motherfucker!

“Noah, Moses, send the Hangmen a message,” Rider hissed as he grabbed Mae and dragged her from the room. All I saw was a red misty tunnel.

“Styx! I love you… I love you!” Mae cried, tears pouring down her cheeks.

Rider is taking her from me!