It Ain't Me, Babe

“Then I shall leave!”

I froze. Much to my annoyance, so did Rider. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t know what the f**k to do. I could see in her eyes that she meant it. Sure as hell, I didn’t want her to leave.

Fuckin’ classic. A Mexican standoff!

“She can have the bed. I’ll take the couch until I can get back home,” Rider offered.

Like f**k she can. I fumed.

“What did he say, Rider?” Mae asked, measured menace in her voice. She had more edge to her than I’d given her credit for.

“He don’t want you staying with me,” Rider replied neutrally.

Her ice-blue eyes narrowed. “Agree to it or I leave. I mean it, Styx. I cannot stay with you right now. You must take responsibility for what you have done!”

I laughed to myself. Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it? You know what, Mae? Do what the f**k you like. I then pointed at Rider. You touch her, I kill you.

Threat made, I turned sharply.

“You hurt me!” Mae blurted, her voice breaking.

I froze.

“You made me feel ashamed of myself… my past… things that I had no control over.” I slowly turned around and saw the f**kin’ shredding pain on her face, in her stance. Christ. Mae folded her arms across her chest, dropped her gaze from mine, and moved to sit next to Rider on the couch… right next Rider.

My jaw clenched as her head fell on his shoulder. The brother looked shocked, but I watched that shock turn to a whole lot more. I walked forward and placed my hand on her shoulder.

She tensed and shrugged my hand away.

“Just go, Styx…” she whispered, and my heart f**kin’ sank.

I was such a dumb f**k.

With that, I left, intent on drowning my sorrows in my room with my buddy Jim Beam…

…Far, far away from any club sluts called Dyson who wanted to suck my cock.

Chapter Fifteen

Styx

Lois was buried five days later: black-and-chrome casket, dimes on her eyes, and laid to rest next to her folks in our compound’s cemetery—too many bodies filling that space of late.

Every brother and their old lady attended… and so did Mae. She linked arms with Rider, propping the brother up and fussing over him like a goddamn nurse. It took everything I had not to launch over the open grave and empty a 9mm into Rider’s skull. But even a sinner like me can respect the funeral service of a sister. Mae was stoic throughout the whole thing, Rider’s eyes constantly watching her and me always watching him.

I was finding it really f**kin’ hard to deal with his wandering attentions on my bitch. That’s right, I reminded myself. Mae is mine. Just had to convince her of it somehow. ’Cause if she chose Rider over me, blood would be shed… and it ain’t gonna to be mine.

Two hours later, dusk settled in. We all gathered in the yard of the compound for the wake, grill lit, Black Sabbath’s “Heaven and Hell” blaring from the speakers, and liquor on free flow.

Mae stayed next to Beauty and Letti on the only patch of grass in the entire yard. The three of them were tight as sisters now. I was glad. She needed friends outside of Rider, f**kin’ far, far outside.

Time to time, Mae would throw me a glance. Her eyes would bore into mine, but the warmth she’d always had for me was gone. The lust was still shining through as she checked me out, but the happiness and the softness had died.

She was f**kin’ all smiles for Rider though, the brother looking kinda different now his hair was loose down his back and his trademark bandana was free from his head. Fuck knows what inspired his change in appearance, but we all noticed him changing before our eyes. He was talking more, socializing more, honing in on my f**kin’ property.

Five days. Five damn days of watching Mae grow closer to the club doc while he recovered from his injury. Five days of sitting in the hallway like a f**kin’ stalker, fighting back nausea when he made her laugh. And five days of blue balls and hangovers and not one f**k. Christ, I hadn’t even jacked off. But there’d been one hell of a lot of bourbon.

I’d watched her last night in the brother’s room as she and Rider sat next to one another on the floor, playing some lame-ass board game. A f**kin’ biker playing a board game. Hades himself would be laughing his ass off at the thought. But I wasn’t. Rider was teaching her the rules, guiding her through each play. Her face became more animated as she began to work that shit out on her own, achievement and victory in her expression. One thing was clear: she looked happy.

Now, I felt like killing myself every time she flashed him a perfect smile. The smile she used to throw at me. The smile I’d chased away trying to be f**kin’ noble. The smile I’d chased away getting drunk off my ass, f**kin’ things up with Dyson the cum vacuum.