It Ain't Me, Babe

To make matters worse, the Nazis’d vanished. They knew one of their own had been caught. They knew he’d spill his guts about their location. The Hangmen had stormed that joint, fully loaded, to take the f**kers out, but the place was a ghost town: overturned tables, drawers emptied, and tire marks on the broken asphalt road. One thing was for sure, with a bid on my head, we had to find the skinhead base before they came at us again. I had too much going for me now. Weren’t ready to burn in Hell just yet.

The beer flowed.

Tributes to Lois were made.

The wake rolled on.

The brothers slipped from paying respects to a fallen sister to an outlaw’s usual acts of debauchery. Ky and the psycho trio led the whoring and drinking.

Taking a beer, I walked to the other side of the yard and hunkered down on the ground, leaning against a bale of hay beside the barrel fire. I grabbed my Fender, lit a smoke, and let my fingers take a lyrical walk. Willie Nelson’s “Blue Eyes Cryin’ in the Rain” hummed on the strings. Lost in the music, my eyes glazed by the orange glow of the flames, the words slipped out of my mouth.

“Someday when we meet up yonder

We’ll stroll hand in hand again

In land that knows no parting

Blue eyes cryin’ in the rain…”

With a final strum, the song played off. Casting a quick glimpse around to check I weren’t puling in a crowd, I relaxed. The brothers were now clustered in small groups ’round the yard, some gone home with their families, others f**ked off their face, the trio taking target practice at a can perched on Pit’s head.

Fuckin’ chaos.

As I searched around the yard, Mae was nowhere to be seen. Rider stood beside Smiler, the two of them cutting a f**kin’ miserable picture, all long hair and sullen expressions. But Rider’s attention was fixed firmly behind me, his eyebrows drawn and his teeth worrying his bottom lip. Only knew one thing to make him act like that of late. Or one person, should I say.

Turning my head, I froze when a flow of long black hair whipped in the wind ’round the side of the garage wall. A second later, Mae’s blue eyes peeped around the corner, that small sweet smile on her pink lips.

She’d listened to me play… again.

But she didn’t want me to know she was there.

Leaning forward, I saw Mae’s full face come into view. Her small smile froze when she realized she’d been caught.

As she braced to run, I jerked my chin, ordering her to come to me. Her chest rose high in her skintight, floor-length black dress and perfectly fitted leather jacket. Beauty had kitted her out good. With a deep breath, Mae reluctantly, cautiously, came to me.

She stood awkwardly at my side, playing with her hands and her eyes were lowered in nerves. Christ, she was stunning—all small in height, perfect tight figure, long black hair, and those huge red lips and crystal-blue eyes…

No. Fuckin’. Flaws.

Making sure no one was in earshot, I tapped the bale. Mae, flicking her eyes in Rider’s direction, sagged her shoulders and dropped down onto the bale next to me. She sighed a defeated sigh.

We sat in silence for a while, Mae looking out into the trees, me pretty much looking up at her. I was trying to plan how I could make up for being such a prick with Dyson. My jaw had locked, my throat clenched tight. I tried to calm, but shit, I was f**kin’ slammed by nerves.

With a heaving sigh, Mae flickered her eyes to me, then back to the fire. Then she broke the awkward tension.

“The service today was beautiful, Styx. I have not seen a funeral like that before, the words by the pastor, so considerate of who Lois was. You did well informing him about all her good attributes. I think I would have liked to have known her better.”

I could only nod. I weren’t even thinking ’bout Lois right now as cold as that sounded. It was all Mae. Mae next to me. Mae looking hot as all hell.

“When people died in commune, they were anointed with oil and buried, no ceremony. We believed they were with the Lord, so no grieving was necessary. But I believe Lois would have been happy if she could have seen her service. She was honored properly, as every human being should be.”

I closed my eyes for a moment, savoring the fact she was done giving me the cold shoulder. Nodding, I reached up and ran my finger along her pale hand. She stilled and watched the action, her eyes fluttering to meet mine.

“I-I f-fucked up, Mae. Real b-bad.”

Her sharp inhale of breath made me look up. Her blue eyes glistened, fixed back on the fire, her lips tight and white.

“Mae, l-look at m-me.”

Subtly wiping the tears from under her eyes, she did as I asked.