It’s Complicated (Her Billionaires #5)(79)
Author: Julia Kent

And pain. A pain that she had caused, too. No way around that one, she thought. Annoyingly real and torturously resonant, the pain of knowing that by trying to do the right thing she had only hurt so many others was the kind of stupidity she wished she could bang out of herself, one blow at the time, by flinging her body onto the jagged rocks at the bottom of a cliff.

While that might be satisfying to some of the people in her life, Josie knew that she would have to settle for self abuse of the mind, a never-ending stream of thoughts that dominated her twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, an ongoing reminder of the failure of the heart.

Wait a minute, she told herself. Not fair! Some tiny shred of mercy flittered through her mind. The failure of the heart? That seemed harsh. She was a big girl, and could accept that she had screwed up. But flogging herself, and not loving herself enough to forgive, though, would hurt everyone, especially her. It was bad enough that so many people were in pain. She didn’t need to add the complete annihilation of self-worth to the mess.

Someday, when Alex was ready, she would reach out and try to explain why she had acted the way she had. For now, though, space and time were the only medicine that would help to heal anyone. For two high-level medical professionals that seemed like a weak remedy, indeed.

Dusting off her bruised ego, Josie took a deep breath. There were one million things she wanted to say to Alex, but instead she would have to focus on so many other things in her life.

Like quitting her job.

Laura had made a generous offer to her, to open and manage a very different kind of company. It was time to take the offer seriously.

And besides it would help to deal with some of her own pain, pain that went far beyond the self-abuse her little inner critic was so judiciously dishing out, licking its chops as it figured out what to do with this tsunami of guilt. Everyone knows the only way to escape a tidal wave is to outrun it, right? And to get a good head start before it really comes.

Josie would do just that.

Picking up her smartphone, Josie dialed Laura’s number. The phone rang four times before she heard Laura’s voice, followed by the loud scream of a baby.

“Hello?” Laura’s frantic voice answered. The sound of a baby’s sharp cry pierced the air, and it ended quickly, with a muffled mewling that left Josie confused.

“Laura?”

“Yeah, Josie? Hang on, I’m just latching Jill on.” Aha! That was what was going on. Josie paused for a few seconds to think about what Laura’s life must be like right now. She had become so engrossed in her own new relationship that she hadn’t given much thought to what Laura was going through with this new identity change. Plus, the physical changes must be overwhelming.

“Okay. Whew. She’s on. What’s up?”

“Is that offer still open?”

The grin on Laura’s face could be heard through the phone. “Sure is! I was just looking into real estate, in fact.”

“If I’m supposed to run the place, shouldn’t I be the one looking for the office?” she said in an over-the-top, officious tone.

“Yes, boss!” Laura sighed, the sound of relief clear. “Let’s meet later today at Jeddy’s. I’ll bring Jillian and the guys and we can hash out the basics.”

Indecision washed over her. This was too real, suddenly. “I haven’t accepted. Just want to explore my options.”

A groan from Laura. “Does that include exploring Alex, too?”

“I don’t want to talk about him.”

“Too bad. I do.” Steel ran through her words. This was not the softer, insecure Laura. When had she become so demanding?

“You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t talk about!” There wasn’t any real conviction in Josie’s voice.

“Yes, I can. I am attached at the nipple to an eight-pound vampire and sleep with two men who are walking zombies these days and who can’t find two nights a week to bother with sex. It’s your turn to dish about your sex life.”

“Fine, I’ll talk about air f**king aaaaaall you want.”

“Air f**king?” Laura sputtered. “Is that like mime sex?”

Josie covered her face with her hands and dropped the phone; she was laughing that hard. Scrambling to retrieve the phone as Laura called out to her, she finally got it in hand, and with great, whooping gasps choked out, “It is exactly like mime sex.”

“What fun is that if you can’t scream when you come?” Laura said, an indignant tone in her voice.

Fuuuuccckk. Josie went blind with laughter.

“Meet us at four at Jeddy’s tomorrow, Josie. You’re crazy.” Some mumbling came over the phone, and then a soft pout of disgust. “And the baby just shat all the way up her back and into her hair.”

Ewwww. “That is quite an accomplishment,” Josie said, snorting. Her abs hurt from giggling.

“Gotta go! We’ll talk about air f**king later!”

“I’m waiting with bated breath.” Click.

As if Darla were channeling her, the phone rang with her name on it.

The sounds coming from her phone were like alien communications, high pitched and screechy. “I can’t believe I did this and they left!” was the best Josie could understand.

“Whoa! Darla. Slow down. What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Her voice went into that deadly calm she got during emergencies. Made her a damn fine nurse.

“Not physically.”

“Who left?”

“Joe and Trevor.”

“The guys from Random Acts of Crazy?”

No answer. What was going on?

“Darla? You there?” Her voice was firm again. Oh, shit.

“Yes. And yes, the guys from the band.”

“They went home?”

“Yep.” Darla began to sob, wracking sounds that made Josie’s heart hurt.

“What happened? Are you okay? What did they do?” Her voice trailed off, concern coming through loud and clear.

“They up and left me alone here at the truck-stop hotel,” Darla bellowed.

“They wha—” As if chopped off with an ax, her voice just stopped cold. “They left you.”

“They.”

“They?”

“They—yes, they. It’s a f**king word, Josie. It means two or more people.”

“MORE?” The pain in Josie’s heart turned to a thumping shock.

“No. Not more. Just they as in two guys.”

“And you…?”