Keeping Secret

“Holden’s making sure things stay fun.”

“Then make him dance for us.” Kellen got to her feet before I could stop her and grabbed Holden by his sleeve. “Are you going to dance for us, Holden?”

The vampire looked bewildered and amused. “I don’t get paid enough to dance.”

Kellen rifled through her glittery gold handbag and pulled out a roll of hundred dollar bills so thick I had to catch my breath. She peeled off at least ten and jammed them into his blazer’s front pocket, giving him an all-Benjamin pocket square. Once she’d put the roll of money back in her purse, she pointed to the stripper pole in our midst.

“Dance.”

I bit my lip to keep from laughing at him, but my trapped giggles bubbled over, causing me to snort.

“Secret, it’s your party. Make him do it.” Kellen was using her semi-drunken state and playing up her cuteness. I was betting this particular move went a long way with human men.

“Sorry, Kel. I need Holden’s attention out there.” I gave an apologetic shrug. “As much as I’d like to see him shake his ass, he has work to do.”

At I’d like to see him shake his ass, Holden raised two dark brows at me, his beautiful face showing faint surprise and a lot of dirty promises. I flushed.

I got up and moved to the seat across from Eugenia, and Kellen bounded off to get me my first of many drinks. During a brief lull between songs, I smiled at my sister and reached out to touch her hand. “I’m glad you’re here. I wish it wasn’t…” I rolled my eyes and jerked my chin in the direction of the dance floor. “You know. I wish we could talk.”

“There will be time.”

Kellen returned empty-handed but with a six-foot-five muscle-bound guy trailing behind her, his massive hands loaded with bottles.

“Bottle service!” Kellen cooed, cheers-ing herself. “This is Antoine.”

“Andy,” the guy corrected.

Kellen shrugged. “Andy is going to dance for us.”

The poor guy, whose skin was the color of a ripe pumpkin and who smelled faintly musky, a mixture of sweat and cologne, paled slightly at her words.

“I don’t—”

Holden extracted the wad of hundreds from his pocket and didn’t bat a lash as he slipped them into Andy’s palm. “Give them what they want. Especially the fox in the boa.” He winked at me for good measure before melting into the crowd.

As it turned out, in spite of his protestations, Andy was a bit of a pro when it came to working the stripper pole. And—much to my mortification—was apparently no stranger to giving lap dances. No amount of Patrón could wipe away the memory of a shirtless beefcake wearing my former boa while grinding his very firm butt into my lap.

He was preparing himself for round two when I saw my moment to escape.

“Sorry, ladies, nature calls.”

Before anyone could offer to be my plus one to the bathroom, I darted from the booth and skirted the dancing twenty-somethings who were too busy grinding against each other to pay any attention to me. Beyoncé was singing “Countdown”, and in spite of the catchy beat and the booze pulsing through me, I found myself uninterested in making merry.

I was almost halfway across the room when a finger hooked through the woven straps of my dress and yanked me backwards into a small alcove that led to a door marked Staff.

Only the familiar scent and the coolness of the digit pressed to my spine kept me from punching him, but knowing who it was didn’t stop me from spinning out of his grip and slamming him against the wall, my hand wrapped around his throat.

“You should know better than to sneak up on women who are being hunted.”

Holden smiled and pried my hand off his neck one finger at a time. “Then shouldn’t you know better than to sneak off unprotected into a crowd?”

“Clearly someone had their eyes on me.”

His fingers landed on my shoulders, as if to push me away from him, but instead he ran them with painstaking slowness down my arms, making me shiver in a not-unpleasant way.

“I’m the only one watching you now.”

A breath caught in my throat, making a squeaking sound when I opened my mouth to speak. “I-I should get back.”

“The line is long.”

“What?”

“At the bathroom. We have time.”

His hands came to rest on my waist. He pushed himself off the wall and continued the forwards motion until he had me backed up against the opposite wall and he was pressed against me. My heart was hammering and my eyes couldn’t quite focus on his. I kept getting distracted by the fullness of his mouth.

“I should…”

Holden lowered his mouth to my ear and forced out a breath, making me shudder. His lower lip rubbed against my earlobe when he said, “You made me a promise, Secret.”

I didn’t want to respond physically, but when he whispered the words, a primal heat stabbed at me and I arched against him. “I did.”

His hands moved from my waist and to the small of my back, and our bodies were so close I could feel the heat from my body seeping into his. His soft lips grazed my neck, and I let out a whimper.

“You’re running out of time to make good on it.” His tongue darted out, flicking against the pulse held captive under his mouth.

“I don’t think…”

“Don’t think,” he instructed. “Stop thinking. You want this.” He lowered his lips again, this time to my mouth, and when he kissed me, I wanted to stop time. The bass thump pounded through us, making my skin hum, and when his tongue curled against mine, I had to kiss him back. My whole being insisted on it. His fingers dug into my spine, winding their way through the folds of satin to touch bare skin.

When one of his hands found the tie at the base of my neck, the one that would undo the whole dress, I broke from the kiss and held his head back, my fingers buried in his dark hair. I knew if I let him kiss me again, I wouldn’t be able to force myself to stop. He tasted too good.

I felt dizzy, and it wasn’t from the booze. The tequila haze had already begun to fade, leaving an aftertaste in my mouth that had me craving limes.

The suddenness of the memory brought me back to my senses.

“I can’t do this.”

“You want to.” He seemed mystified. My arousal wasn’t the problem here, and he could probably smell as much. I certainly felt flushed, and there were other telltale signs. “I know you want to.” He tried to kiss me, but my grip was firm.

“It’s not about what I want.” I sighed.

“Sure it is. Just one night. That’s all I asked for.”

I pushed him away but left my hands on his chest. “I wish I could. You have no idea how badly I wish this was about what I want. I do want you, and maybe I always have. But I have the pack now. I have the Tribunal.” I balled my fingers into the soft cotton of his shirt and fought against the urge to pull him back to me. “I need to do what’s right. And this isn’t right.”

“Is this about your dog running away?”

I let go of his shirt. “Partly.”

“He’s gone. I’m here.”

“I’m sorry, Holden.”

He licked his lips, and I followed the motion of his tongue with hungry eyes. He watched me watch him and shrugged once. “There’s still time.” Then he vanished again, leaving me too hot and suddenly cold all at the same time.

Like I needed more complications in my love life right now.

Chapter Forty-One

Satin sheets were always a dead giveaway I was dreaming.

I mean who in the real world actually had satin sheets? I’d once had a satin pillowcase in my early teens because Seventeen magazine said it was a great way for curly-haired girls to fight off frizz. Grandmere had made one for me, and damned if my head didn’t slip off it almost every night.

Satin sheets were the bedroom version of a Slip ’n Slide.

Except in my dreams.

And those usually also featured a naked man, so I wasn’t going to complain too much.

“The sheets are a bit clichéd, don’t you think?”

Holden wrapped his arms around me from behind and tugged me close. He nestled his cheek in my hair and whispered in my ear, “I’m sorry, whose dream is this again?”

In reality this wasn’t a normal dream, and that was the only reason I was so hyperaware of it being part of my imagination. In other dreams it was hard to sort out what was what because everything felt so real. This, too, felt so real it was hard not to convince myself I was awake. But I wasn’t. Because of the bond I’d formed with Holden when I was his ward, the sneaky bugger could worm his way into my dreams if he so desired.

“Don’t forget, you have all the power now,” he reminded me, as if reading my mind. Maybe he could? He was capable of sneaking into my subconscious. Who’s to say what he could glean from me while he was there.

“You’re trying to tell me I brought you here?”

He licked the shell of my ear, and my whole body tightened. “I’m just saying I couldn’t be here if you didn’t want me here.”

I snorted, but I didn’t push him away. He trailed kisses down from my ear to the crook of my shoulder, and I closed my eyes so I could focus on the sensation of it, his lips as soft and firm as I knew them to be in real life. When I felt the graze of fangs over my skin, I opened my eyes again.

“What are you—?”

“Shhh,” he soothed, traversing a hand over my belly and lower…lower.

A shuddering sigh escaped me. I wished it hadn’t, because he took it as an invitation. He slipped one finger inside of me in the same instant he bit down, teeth breaking skin and…

Nice day for a white wedding.

Billy Idol sure seemed to think so as his voice growled and snarled from the cell phone on my nightstand.

“Ugh, can you…?” I stopped short of asking Desmond to turn it off when I remembered he wasn’t here anymore. I was alone.