Kiss Me at Midnight(23)
Author: Diane Alberts

“I know, but still.” She rested her head on his shoulder. “I just wish you could come back home. People change, you know. It’s not so bad anymore.”

Ethan stiffened. Everyone kept telling him that, and maybe they were right. But he hadn’t changed enough to accept this town. It just wasn’t possible. “I know, but I’m still leaving.”

His mom nodded. “I know. But I still wish you wouldn’t.” She kissed him on his cheek and then stood. “I’ll let you pack, though.”

“Thanks. You know I love you, right, Mom?”

“Of course.” She smiled at him, but it was a sad smile. “I’ve never doubted that.”

She left the room, passing Alex as he came in. “Everything okay in here?” Alex asked, hesitating at the doorway. “Mom looks sad. What did you do?”

“Nothing.” Ethan rubbed his forehead again and then rolled to his feet. “I’m just trying to pack since my flight leaves in a few hours, but I can’t get my damn clothes to fit in the suitcase.”

“Hey, here’s a suggestion. It might sound a little bit off the wall, but maybe you should try folding them.” Alex stepped inside and picked up a shirt. “I’ll help you, but I’m not doing it alone.”

Ethan grabbed another shirt. “Thanks.”

“Want to talk about it?” Alex asked, his voice light.

Ethan froze, a half folded shirt in his hands. “About what?”

“The weather.” Alex rolled his eyes. “Ashley, dumbass.”

Normally, this was the part where Ethan refused to talk about his feelings. Refused to come clean. But for once? Hell yeah, he wanted to talk about it. “I left, and she didn’t come after me. She always comes after me. She just let me go this time.”

“Would that have made a difference?”

“What do you mean?”

His brother ran a hand through his hair. “In whether you stayed or went?”

No. Yes. Maybe. He cleared his throat. “You know what she called me last night?”

Alex raised a brow. “What?”

“A runner. She said it so matter-of-factly, as if she knew and accepted this about me. I didn’t realize it before, but that’s what I am.” He stared at the crack in his bedroom wall, where he’d punched it after finding Roger and Ashley together. “I’m a f**king runner.”

Alex shrugged. “So? If that’s who you are, then it’s who you are. We all have something we do that we shouldn’t.”

“But you know the f**ked up part? I almost want to stay. Move back here and live in this godforsaken town, just so I can see her. Be with her.” He looked at Alex, whose brown eyes were narrowed on him with concern. “I almost want to stop running.”

Alex froze, the shirt he was folding dropping to his feet. “And will you?”

“I can’t.”

Ethan finished folding the shirt and grabbed the one Alex dropped off of the floor. It was the shirt he wore to the bar a couple of days ago. The night he’d gone home with her. Had it really been so short of a time since they reunited?

“Can’t?” Alex asked, snatching the shirt back. “Or won’t?”

He sighed. “It doesn’t f**king matter. I just feel…bad about letting her down.”

Alex shook his head. “See what love does to men? It’s why I’ll never succumb to the illness.”

“Who said anything about love?” Ethan asked, slamming the shirt down on the bed. “I didn’t say I loved her. I just…just…” Need to be with her to breathe. Want to stay with her. Ache to spend my life with her. “Well, shit.”

“Let me guess. You just love her?” Alex asked, his brow up. “That, brother, is why I’m the psychologist.”

“I knew I had feelings for her, ones that could develop if given time, but I didn’t know I’d already fallen back in love with her.” He rubbed his jaw, his eyes on the picture of them she’d drawn. “Son of a bitch, how did that happen?”

“Shit if I know. Speaking of avoiding love…” Alex grinned. “I’m quite good at it.”

“Yeah, I know.” Ethan dragged his hands down his face. “This doesn’t change anything. I’m still leaving. It’s not like she loves me, too, or anything.”

“Did you ask her?”

Ethan growled. “No, of course not.”

“Well, then, how do you know she doesn’t love you?”

“Because I do. We had an agreement, and we both need to stick to our sides of it. I promised her a weekend of no-strings-attached fun, and she’ll get it.” Ethan continued packing. “My feelings don’t change that. Besides, she didn’t try to stop me. She obviously wants me to go.”

“You trying to convince me of that, or yourself?”

“Fuck off,” Ethan snapped.

Alex shrugged. “You’re just mad because I’m right.”

“Stop treating me like I’m one of your patients. I’m not.”

“Fine,” Alex said. “But one more question. Are you staying or going?”

Ethan stared at his feet. Could he stay? Was that even a question? Jesus.

“I’m going. I have a life in California. A job. A house…” Ethan tossed his unfolded shirt onto the bed. “How about we get a drink real quick, though? Because I f**king need one.”

Alex clenched his jaw. “Fine. Let’s go, then.”

“Stop acting like you’re so disappointed in me,” Ethan said, shooting his brother a dirty look. “How could you actually expect me to want to stay here?”

Alex shrugged as they descended the stairs. “Easy. You just don’t get on the plane.”

“I can’t do that,” Ethan said, rubbing his temples as they went down the stairs and out the front door. “I don’t belong here.”

“I, for one, know that Mom would be happy if you did. And I have a feeling Ashley would be, too, no matter what you say.” Alex nudged Ethan in the ribs. “Hell, even I miss you, bro. The whole town does.”

Ethan snorted. “I doubt that.”

“That I miss you?” Alex asked, his brow furrowed.

“No, that the town does.” Ethan shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets as the rounded the corner. “They might miss bullying me, but that’s about it.”