Letting Go (Mitchell Family #1)(32)
Author: Jennifer Foor

I wondered what would happen when I left in the fall. Would she go back to spending every second at that hospital? Would she want to still talk to me, maybe even come and visit me?”

We ended up sleeping in the hayloft at the old barn. It wasn’t the best night’s sleep, but waking up with something beautiful in your arms is pretty damn nice.

Savanna could turn a bad farmin’ day into the best day of the year. She made me smile like when it rained during a drought. Her sweet smile and innocent sense of humor were contagious. How could people not love her?

For the next few weeks we spent all of our free time together. When I had to work, I thought about her every second. It wasn’t just the sex, in fact I hardly thought about that when I thought about Savanna. Of course I loved that the sex was pretty amazing, but I wanted to hear her voice and hold her in my arms. I missed her when she wasn’t around. Now, I was an adult and I knew exactly what those feelings amounted to. No matter how hard I tried to fight them, they just kept coming up. Every touch, every word, led to me wanting her in my life.

Savanna made me want something with a woman that I had never had before. She made me want a family. I’d had several dreams about us being married and having children together. Then I would wake up and realize that was the future she had saved for my cousin, not me.

She talked about him less, but she still loved him the same. It wasn’t like I was giving her hope that we could ever be more. I felt like I didn’t have a right to do that. Above everything else, I wanted her to be happy, and to have the future that she deserved. If that future was to be with my cousin, then I wished her the best. It hurt like hell to think about, but it was the truth.

I never had a chance when it came to her choosing me. It would never happen. She confessed so much to me, there was no way she could ever love someone else. She had made it clear that he was her future. She would never let go of him.

Each night it didn’t stop me from holding her in my arms, wishing she was my future instead of his.

Chapter 19

Savanna

The next month went by faster than I wanted it to. During the day Colt would work the farm with his uncle, while I went to work, stopped by the hospital and even made my appointments with my shrink. We spent our evenings together either at the carriage house or at the old barn. When the weekends came, we had free reign over the farm. There was a mess of skinny dipping and even more hot showers.

Being with Colt was an addiction. I no longer worried about hiding from people, in fact we often headed to town and ate in public. We ran into a few younger kids at the old barn one night and it never bothered me. As long as I had Colt by my side, I didn’t care about anyone else.

He gave me a reason to smile every day. On nights that I couldn’t stay the night, we would talk for hours on the phone, like little teenagers. Everything about Colt was a breath of fresh air. He was kind and always made sure I was safe. He never questioned my feelings and I found myself wondering what my feelings really were for him. Was it possible that a summer fling had turned into something real between the both of us?

I wanted to tell him, to let him know how I felt.

I wanted him to know that I thought I was falling in love with him.

The idea of him having to leave in two months made me sad. I hated being without him for more than a day. I couldn’t imagine being without him completely. When I thought about it, I felt a hole in my heart that I recognized from before. I never wanted to feel that lost again. I couldn’t lose him too.

I planned it all out. Colt needed to work in the chicken houses one Saturday afternoon. There had been some fan malfunction and even his uncle and aunt stayed home from the hospital to get it fixed. While they did what they needed to do, I bought two big steaks, some potatoes and a salad. I lit candles and cooked all of the food. After I finished, I headed into the bedroom and changed into the skimpiest little outfit I picked up in town, then added my cowboy boots for a finishing touch. I sat there at the kitchen table waiting. The excitement of seeing him was killing me.

When Colt walked in the door, his mouth dropped open. It was dark in the room, but the candles illuminated it. He wasn’t looking at the table, the lighting or even the food. His eyes were fixed on me.

I crossed my legs for an extra touch. “Hey.” I announced.

“Savanna.” Was all he said before heading in my direction. I stood up and turned around for him. “You look so hot.”

“Thank you baby.” I said.

He kissed me then pulled away. “Did you call me baby?”

“I did. Actually, I wanted to celebrate. Are you hungry, because I got us two great steaks?”

He looked over the table, then back to me. “I’m starvin’.”

“Well I made your favorites, so I hope I did them justice. Go wash up and I will make your plate.” I offered.

I was getting nervous. I wanted him to attack me with kisses, but he seemed a bit caught off guard at me calling him baby. I didn’t think it was a big deal, and I hoped he didn’t either.”

After ten minutes, Colt walked out from the shower in just a pair of shorts. His hair was still wet. He kissed me again before sitting across from me.

“You look beautiful and this food looks amazin’. Are you alright Darlin’?” He asked.

I smiled and started cutting my steak. “Actually I am more than fine. I want to talk to you about something.”

Colt was in the middle of cutting his steak. His knife dropped on his plate making a loud noise. “Are you pregnant?”

I gagged on my first bite of food. “No! I’m not. Is that what you thought this was about?”

He held up his hands. “Wait before you get all upset. Just for the record, I wouldn’t be mad if you were. We haven’t been very responsible lately. I mean, most of it is my fault, but you don’t help when you attack me like you do.” He laughed.

“I’m not mad. I am actually shocked you thought I would be dressed all sexy to tell you I was with child. That’s kind of screwed up don’t you think?”

He smiled. “When you say it like that, it is pretty jacked up. So what’s goin’ on?”

“Eat your dinner and then we can talk. I want you to enjoy every bite.”

He put his fork down and began chewing. “It tastes great. Thank you for cookin’. So, I gotta ask. Do I get to watch you take that little number off for dessert?”

His smile made me want to crawl across the table of food and candles and attack him. He was so damn sexy I couldn’t control myself.