Letting Go (Mitchell Family #1)(57)
Author: Jennifer Foor

When we made it to the Kentucky border, I felt something wrong as I was driving. Ty noticed it too and told me to pull over. “Looks like you got a flat babe.” He announced.

I smacked him on the arm. “Stop calling me that! You lost that privilege, remember?”

“Yeah, whatever. You going to get out and help me, or pout more?”

I shook my head and got out of the car. I wasn’t even sure if I had a spare tire. We made it to the back of the car and had to remove a year’s worth of crap from the trunk to get to the spare. Ty bitched and shook his head the whole time. There was a bunch of our stuff in there. I still had some of his clothes in bags from when we would sleep out at the barn.

“For someone that wants to move on, you sure have a bunch of my shit.”

“Cleaning out my car was the last of my priorities you jerk!” I flipped him the finger, while he continued to dig the remaining items from the trunk. I was getting nervous as he lifted up the carpet covering where a spare tire would be.

Thankfully, there was a tire in there. It was a donut, but it would work. “So does it need air?” I asked.

“Probably. Did you even know you had it?” He asked.

“Not really. I never looked for it before.”

He shook his head. “I remember when you got this car. I went with your dad to check it out.”

I smiled and helped him get all set up before I started putting all of the crap back in the trunk. Ty got right to work changing the tire. He even started to sing while he worked. I couldn’t help but giggle and give him funny looks. He was taunting me, trying to get me to laugh at him.

By the time the tire was replaced, we climbed back in the car and started heading for the closest gas station to get some air in it. Due to the fact that Ty moved slower than a slug, I jumped out and insisted on doing it myself. He hopped out and said I didn’t know anything about tire pressure and would do more damage than good. Because he pissed me off, calling me incapable, I stormed into the store to get us some snacks.

When I came back out, I handed him a root beer and a bag of his favorite chips. He smiled and opened them up right away. “Thanks babe. You always did know me best.”

I shoved him again. “Seriously Ty, stop with the babes. Obviously, I didn’t know you enough, otherwise, I wouldn’t have been repeatedly cheated on.”

He turned to face me while I started driving. “Van that was always my dick making those decisions. My heart always belonged to you.” His hand brushed my knee and I pulled over the car as fast as I could.

“Don’t touch me Ty! Did you really just say that your dick made the decisions? Do you know how ridiculous you sound? You made the decisions. I was never enough for you. More than anything in this world, I hate liars and cheaters. Now, I am really trying hard not to hate you, but dammit, you deserve where you are at. How could you be so self centered. If I found out all of that stuff and didn’t have Colt, I might have just offed myself. Don’t you know how much you hurt me? How much you are still hurting me?”

He slowly set the bag of chips down and lowered his head. I had raised my voice and even though he had secrets, he did know me. He knew I’d had enough of his games. “Van, I’m so sorry. You’re right. I never thought about what it would do to you. I can spend my while life trying to get your forgiveness, but it will never happen will it?”

“I loved you so much Ty. God, when you were in that hospital it was Hell. I wanted to take everything back and have the future that we always talked about. I wanted to love you forever. There was never anyone else for me. When we broke up, I never even talked to another guy. I just wanted to focus on school, I never really left our commitment.” I turned off the car and faced him. My eyes started filling with tears and I hated that he was seeing me cry over him. “If Colt hadn’t come into my life, I don’t know what I would have done if Heather or someone else told me the truth. I tried to consider learning it any other way than I did that night when we were all drinking, but none would have been any easier. You shattered me. Even though I already knew my relationship with Colt was what I wanted, hearing the truth about you, well it hurt just the same. All those years, you lied to me. I was never enough. Why couldn’t you just let me go? Why did you keep me if you needed more?”

He hesitated before answering. I felt his hands reach up and touch my cheek. For that moment, I didn’t make him stop. He brushed away my tears. “Because I couldn’t imagine you being with anyone else. I didn’t want anyone else to have you.”

“It’s not fair Ty. What you did was wrong.”

“I know it. I just couldn’t share you. I wanted to only want you Van. I swear I tried to be good. I just can’t do it.” He reached over and pulled me across the seat, into his chest. “I swear to you that I love you. I have only ever loved you Van. I never would have divorced you. I would have given you all the kids you wanted. I would have given you everything.”

I shook my head and pulled away. “I believe you would have, but what I really wanted was to be the only one for you. That is all I ever wanted.”

He looked away. “I know babe. I know.”

I didn’t correct him. I felt his pain in his voice. He knew he screwed up. He knew I was never going to be his again. It was enough punishment. Me being with Colt was the constant reminder that would haunt him forever.

I reached over and played with his hair. “I forgive you Ty, but only because I know you seeing me with Colt is torture. I feel bad for that, as stupid as it is. Every other woman would want revenge, but I can’t be like that. I just want to move forward.”

Before I could speak or move out of the way, Ty leaned over and kissed me. He grabbed the back of my head and held me there against his lips. There was no tongue or some kind of romantic attempts, it was just a kiss. When he pulled away, he looked right into my eyes. “Saying good bye to you hurts me so much. I try to be tough, but you make me want to never cheat again. I am such a f**king idiot. I had to lose you to realize that you are all I want. I don’t want to see you with him.” He turned to look out the window and hit the side of my car with his fist. “Dammit!”

As much as I wanted to see Colt, I needed to be here for Ty. I couldn’t just ignore his feelings, even if he was a total ass**le. “Are you okay?”

I reached over and grabbed his shoulder. He immediately pulled away. “Just don’t. My life is ruined. I can’t play football. I lost my license. I am being sued and I lost you. What the f**k do I have to live for?”