Lover at Last (Black Dagger Brotherhood #11)(112)
Author: J.R. Ward

Chapter Fifty-six

Blay was antsy as he paced around his room. Although he was fully dressed for fighting, he was going nowhere. None of them were.

After the Council meeting, Tohr had ordered the Brotherhood to stay in on a just-in-case. Rehv was reaching out to the Council members, connecting outside of the mansion, getting a sense of where the glymera were. As the guy couldn’t very well show up with a six-pack of Brothers on his ass – at least, not if he wanted to preserve some pretense of civility – they had to chill. But given the political climate, it was important that backup was ready in case the Reverend needed it.

Not that he went by that name anymore…

The door to his room opened wide without a knock, a hello, a hey-are-you-decent.

Qhuinn stood in between the jambs, breathing hard, like he’d run down the hall of statues.

Damn, had Layla lost the pregnancy after all?

Those mismatched eyes searched around. "You by yourself?"

Why the hell would –  Oh, Saxton. Right. "Yes – "

The male took three strides forward, reached up…and kissed the ever-loving shit out of Blay.

The kiss was the kind that you remembered all your life, the connection forged with such totality that everything from the feel of the body against your own, to the warm slide of another’s lips on yours, to the power as well as the control, was etched into your mind.

Blay didn’t ask any questions.

He just held on, slipping his arms around the other male, welcoming the tongue that entered him, kissing back even though he didn’t understand what had motivated this.

He probably should care. Probably should pull away.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

Whatever.

He was vaguely aware that the door was open into the hall, but he didn’t care – even though things were going to get pretty goddamn indiscreet pretty quick.

Except Qhuinn abruptly put the brakes on, ending the liplock and separating them. "Sorry. This isn’t why I came."

The fighter was still panting, and that, as well as the burn in that incredible stare, was nearly enough for Blay to say something along the lines of, That’s fine, but can we finish what we started first.

Qhuinn walked back and shut the door. Then he shoved his hands into the pockets of his leathers – like it was either that or he was worried they might latch on again.

Fuck the pockets, Blay thought as he tried to subtly rearrange his erection. "What is it?" he asked.

"I know you went to see Payne."

The words were spoken clearly and slowly – and they were the one thing that Blay couldn’t really handle. Breaking eye contact, he wandered around his room.

"You saved the pregnancy," Qhuinn announced, the tone in his voice too close to awe for comfort.

"So she’s still okay?"

"You saved the – "

"Payne did."

"V’s sister said it never would have dawned on her to try – until you went and talked with her."

"Payne’s got some serious talent – "

Qhuinn was suddenly right in his way, a solid wall of muscle that there was no going through. Especially as the male reached up and brushed Blay’s cheek. "You saved my daughter."

In the silence that followed, Blay knew he had something he was supposed to say. Yeah…it was right on his tongue. It was…

Shit. With Qhuinn looking at him like that, he couldn’t remember his own name. Blaysox? Blacklock? Blabberfox? Who the f**k knew…

"You saved my daughter," Qhuinn whispered.

The words that came out of Blay’s mouth were ones he would later regret – because it was especially important, in light of the sex that seemed to be happening from time to time, to keep a distance.

But linked as they were, stare-to-stare, he was powerless to stop the truth. "How could I not try…it was killing you. I couldn’t not try something. Anything."

Qhuinn’s lids closed briefly. And then he gathered Blay in an embrace that connected them from head to foot. "You’re always there for me, aren’t you."

Talk about bittersweet: The reality that the male was going to form a family with someone else, with a female, with Layla, bit into the center of Blay’s chest.

It was his curse, in so many ways.

He released his arms from Qhuinn’s back and stepped off. "Well, I hope it – "

Before he could finish, Qhuinn was in front of him yet again, and those blue and green eyes were burning.

"What," Blay said.

"I owe you…everything."

For some reason, that hurt. Maybe because after years of trying to give himself to the guy, the gratitude was finally earned by helping him have a kid with someone else.

"Whatever, you’d have done the same for me," he said roughly.

And yet even as he put that out there, he wasn’t sure. If someone attacked him? Well, sure, of course Qhuinn would back him up. But then again, the tough-edged SOB loved to fight and was a natural hero – that wasn’t anything about Blay.

Perhaps that was the point of this emptiness. Everything had always been on Qhuinn’s terms. The friendship. The distance. Even the sex.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Qhuinn asked.

"Like how."

"As if I’m a stranger."

Blay rubbed his face. "Sorry. Just been a long night."

There was a long, tense moment, during which all he could feel was Qhuinn’s stare.

"I’ll go," the fighter said after a pause. "I guess I just wanted…yeah. Anyhow."

The sounds of shitkickers headed for the exit had Blay cursing –

The knock on the door was a single one and very loud: a Brother.

Rhage’s voice cut easily through the panels. "Blay? Tohr’s called a meeting to go over tomorrow night’s territory. You know where Qhuinn is?"

Blay looked across his room at the guy. "No, I don’t."

Oh, for f**k’s sake, Qhuinn thought at the interruption. Although in reality, the conversation was over, wasn’t it.

The good news was that at least Rhage didn’t come in. No doubt Blay would prefer the pair of them not got caught hanging in his room.

Hollywood wrapped things up with, "If you see him, let him know if he wants to attend we’re convening in five. Totally understand if he’d rather stay with Layla."

"Roger that," Blay said in a dead voice.

As Rhage went next door and knocked on Z’s door, Qhuinn rubbed his face. He had no idea what had gone through Blay’s mind just now, but the way those blue eyes had stared at him had made him feel as if a ghost had passed over his grave.

Then again, what did he expect? He barged into the room that the guy shared with Saxton, pulled a major liplock, and then got all mushy over the Payne thing….This was Saxton space. Not Qhuinn space.