Love’s Suicide(43)
Author: Jennifer Foor

I hadn’t thought about it being extremely close to the Army base.

Everywhere I drove, and each store I entered, I saw people wearing fatigues. As a direct response to it, I would lose it, thinking of Brooks and how I’d never see him again. I ended up spending the majority of the day sitting in the car with B, crying my eyes out.

On the way home, we were sitting at a light and a group of soldiers pulled up in an open camouflaged jeep. My windows were down and I was trying to avoid eye contact. I didn’t notice if they were waving to her, but in the rear view mirror I could see her waving to them, full of smiles.

When the light changed to green I started driving. They were still beside me and she was waving up a storm. I reached back and touched her little foot. “B, your daddy was a soldier. One day, I’ll tell you all about him.”

We kept driving until finally we were on the open road with no vehicles near us. Out of nowhere, B started saying the word, ‘daddy’, over and over again. My stomach dropped as she continued to repeat it. By the time we’d made it to Bobby’s shop, she’d fallen asleep, but the damage had been done to my heart.

He climbed in the car and immediately knew that I’d had a terrible day. After leaning over to kiss me, he let his lips linger near my ear. “What’s wrong, baby?”

I grabbed his hand and nestled my face against his. “I just want to go home, put on some pajamas and lay with you, if that’s alright?”

He kissed me slowly, making sure I knew he was perfectly alright with holding me for as long as I needed it. Out of nowhere, things started to heat up in the front seat. Bobby had his hand down my pants and had started massaging my sex while our tongues mingled together. I was desperate for his affections to heal my heart and was ready to climb on top of him and make it happen.

Then B woke up. “Mama. Dada.”

We stopped and looked back at her sitting there, smiling. Bobby gave her all of his attention. “There’s my girl. Did you have a good nap?”

“Out!” She was done being in her car seat and I knew it was time to get home.

It was weird pulling on our road and seeing the truck sitting there again. Bobby seemed alarmed, but as we approached, it pulled away. Bobby got a license plate number and called the sheriff again. As nervous as I was about it, I stayed focused on finishing what we’d started in the car.

We worked together, playing with B until she was exhausted and out cold for the night.

Bobby led me into our bedroom and pulled my shirt over my head. He was doing well standing up, but couldn’t do it without help for a long period of time. One of his legs was almost fully healed, while the other was still in pretty bad shape.

I looked into his eyes and pulled off his shirt. “Make love to me.”

He kissed me, sucking on my bottom lip before pulling away. “I love when we’re like this, Katy. I feel like, after all this time, I finally have you.”

I pushed him until he sat down on the bed. My pants and underwear came off next, and I climbed on top of him. “You do.”

That was all he needed to hear. After removing his pants we got under the covers. Bobby took his time, kissing me in all the right places, while holding both of my hands. I savored his kisses and the way our hands fit together. Giving myself to Bobby was easy when it was what I wanted. It had taken me a long time to do it, but since I had, I’d discovered that he wasn’t just a wonderful lover. Bobby was an emotional lover, and the more he received himself, the more he gave back. I could feel his love with every kiss and absorbed it into my body as if it were giving me strength to move on.

He let go of me so that his hands could trace over my skin. With every slip of his hand, my breathing increased. He thumbed my ni**les and flicked them with his tongue, causing me to gasp. I was so hot for him and wanted him inside of me, giving me everything he had to offer.

When I knew he was starting to hurt, we switched positions, with me on top. I sat up and released my hair-tie, letting my long strands fall down over my ni**les. Bobby licked his lips, watching me run one hand between them. He positioned himself and entered me slowly, never taking his sexy eyes off of me. We moved in sync, enjoying the feelings that being intimate gave us.

After some time, we lay there naked next to each other. He played with my hair while kissing on my hand. “Katy, can I ask you somethin’?”

I nodded and smiled, while running my hand through his thick, dark hair. “Anything.”

“Have a baby with me, darlin’. Let’s give B a sister or brother. I love her as if she were my own, but nothin’ would make me more happy than to have another one.”

It was one thing that we’d never talked about. I considered the idea for only a few seconds before knowing what my answer would be. After placing a long kiss on his lips, I pulled away and looked him right in the eyes. “Okay.”

Bobby’s smile let me know he was thrilled. “Really? You’d have a baby with me?”

I shoved him playfully. “You’re my husband. We’ve been through Hell and back. I get that it hasn’t been easy being married to me. Things are different now. I can’t live in the past and expect to be happy.”

“All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. I know I never told you this, but I knew the first time I met you that you were somethin’ special. After what I’ve done, I never would have expected you to let me back into your life. I get that you did it because I got hurt. No matter what it was, I’m grateful, Katy. You and B give me all I could ever need.”

I smiled, knowing that if I hadn’t had Bobby, I didn’t know where I’d be. “I’m not going anywhere, you know.”

He pulled me close up against his chest. “Hearin’ that never gets old.”

While playing with the small patch of hair on his chest I smiled, knowing that we had a chance at making a good life together. “Get used to it.”

I knew a baby wouldn’t solve all of my problems, but we were in a good place and I wanted him to know it.

Through our worst of times, Bobby had always done one thing right; being a father.

B was the perfect example of how deep his love could go. I wasn’t making excuses for his violent side, but for some reason I could sympathize with why he felt like it had to go that far. After trying so hard to make me happy, I was basically shoving it in his face that I would never love him. It had to have hurt him intensely. How else would someone feel if the one person they loved unconditionally could never be true to them?