Lustly(31)
Author: Jennifer Foor

Cybil had told me that I couldn’t ask personal questions to protect his identity, but I appreciated that he was telling me all on his own. “Why me?”

“I have personal reasons.”

“You’re the second person that’s tried to save me from myself.”

“The second?”

Was this guy jealous of someone he’d never met before? “Yes. I had this friend. Actually he’s my divorce lawyer. He’d been helping me, letting me work off my debt in his office. For the past two months we’d become good friends. He was my only friend.” My heart ached talking about him in a past tense. “He tried to offer me money to not do this. When I declined he couldn’t take it anymore. I haven’t heard from him in a week, and I don’t think I’m going to.”

While I sat there feeling sorry for myself I heard him typing. “Do you miss him?”

“Do you even care? Obviously you didn’t sign on to be my therapist. Is that what you do for a living? Are you some kind of doctor?”

“You ask a lot of questions. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t care. No, I’m not a therapist, but I do like to help people. It’s in my nature I guess.”

“Yes,” I nodded as I said it. “I miss talking to him. He used to check on me when he didn’t see me, and toward the end of our friendship it felt like something was happening between us.”

“Your husband is having an affair. Did you do the same with this man that’s helping you?”

“We made out a couple of times, but that’s it. I pushed him away because I knew he’d be disgusted with my life choices.”

“You told him the truth? That’s surprising.”

I sighed. “Yeah. I’m not one for secrets. I need honesty, so someday I can learn to trust people. The idea of being lied to makes me sick.”

The room got quiet for a moment and then I heard typing. At the same time my phone started vibrating in my purse, in the drawer. Since it was dark I felt around until I could locate the bedside table and retrieve it.

The message was from Eli and I got butterflies when I saw the fake name appear on my screen.

Can we talk later? –E

When? – L

An hour? – E

Two? – L

Okay. At my house. – E

See you then. – L

I put my phone away and apologized. “Sorry. I had to take care of that.”

“Your kids?”

“No,” I laughed. “It was actually my attorney.”

I heard him shuffling. He typed something and stood up as it was speaking. “Will you go to see him?”

“As a matter of fact, yes, I’m going to see him in a couple hours.”

“Will you make love with him?”

“Do you really want to know who I sleep with? Aren’t you here to sleep with me?”

“No. I’m here to protect you, to make you feel like the woman I know you can be. If we have sex it will be because you want it, like when it happened before. I don’t take advantage of women.”

“Why even make me your whore? This is just a clusterfuck of confusion, if you ask me.”

“I have my reasons, and they aren’t something I can talk about.”

“How do you know me? Do you know my husband?”

“The only thing I know about your husband is that he’s a douche.”

I laughed at his reply.

“Yeah. I’ve been blinded for a long time apparently.”

“Do I make you feel uncomfortable?”

“You are the one asking a question when you haven’t answered mine. How do you know me, Frankie?”

“We’ve met in passing.”

“Would I recognize you?”

“Yes.”

I was surprised that he admitted it. “Do my kids know you?”

“No.”

“Are you from the diner?”

“No.”

“Have we spoke?” I was trying to think of all the men I’d ever met. I wondered if he was someone that worked at the doctor’s office, or possibly somewhere else. I was a mom. I ran all over the place with the kids.

“Yes.”

“So I’d recognize your voice and your face?”

“Probably.”

I was beginning to get creeped out. This man knew things about me, but him being mysterious made me so uneasy. I felt like when I left that he was secretly watching, or stalking me. “Did you come here today to just talk to me?”

“I feel like you needed a friend.”

He was right. I did need a friend, but he wasn’t who I wanted that friend to be. I wanted Eli. I needed his arms around me telling me that he forgave me for taking such huge risks. “Thank you for being kind.”

“Would you like to leave early to go see your friend?”

“I can’t cut our time short. It’s bad enough that I’m nothing like you probably expected.”

“You’re exactly what I expected. You’re too good for this occupation.”

“Are you paying me just to get me to stop?”

“I told you that I had my own reasons for wanting you. We will have sex, and it will be because you want me as much as I want you. So the answer is no. I’m not paying you just so you’ll quit. My motives are biased to my wanting you for myself.”

He was kidding himself if he thought I’d sleep with him again. Sure, the last time I’d been caught up in the moment. How many times in someone’s life were they seduced by two people in front of an audience, or however it ended up playing out? “You’re willing to meet me every week, pay me a ton of money, when you may not get anything out of it besides a sob story about a mother who sells her body for sex to get out of her adulterous marriage.”

“When you say it like that it sounds like a terrible idea.”

“Well it is.”

“I’m still not giving up.”

“I’m wasting your time.”

“Time with you is never wasted.” His words made me feel special, even if the surrounding circumstances were far from that.

“I want you to get your money’s worth.” It was true. If I wanted to take advantage of someone with money I would have taken Eli’s and stopped this disaster of a decision.

“So you’re willing to sleep with me even if I’m not asking for it?”

“Well, I’ve already slept with you. It’s not like a second or third time makes it different. Either way I slept with another man while still married to my husband. He’s out doing it to me right now. As a matter of fact he’s in the next town over right now at a shitty hotel f**king my neighbor as we speak. Why can’t I do the same? It certainly makes me feel better about what he’s doing.”