Masquerade (Heven and Hell #1)(52)
Author: Cambria Hebert

She was practically hyperventilating, her breaths were coming in short gasps, and her face was turning red. Alarmed I jumped to my feet. I promised her I wouldn’t touch her, and I wanted to honor that promise, but I couldn’t stand to see her this way.

“I’m leaving!” She yelled and ran for the door.

I lunged after her, she couldn’t leave. People out there wanted her dead, and I had to protect her. I wrapped my arms around her waist and towed her away from the door, back into the room. She turned and shoved me, both hands slamming into my shoulders. “Get away from me.”

“Stop it, I need to talk to you, there are things you need to hear.” I reached for her again and she slapped my hands away.

“I hate you!” She yelled as she rushed forward and began hitting my chest with the sides of her clenched fists. “I hate you for this!”

I let her pound me, I deserved it, and she needed to get out her anger. Because I still had to talk, and she still had to listen. And because I hated myself too.

After a few minutes of her hitting me she collapsed against my chest and sobbed. I was afraid to put my arms around her so I just stood there, my hands at my sides and shaking with the need to touch her while she cried hot tears all over me.

When her sobs became hiccups, she whispered, “I thought you loved me.”

I groaned and wrapped my arms around her. “I do. More than anything.”

My voice or my touch seemed to break through her emotion, and she stiffened and yanked herself away. “Don’t touch me.”

I held up my hands in surrender and took a few steps back.

She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand and her make-up smeared, leaving black streaks against her pale skin. “I don’t want to see you again.”

“That’s too bad, you don’t have a choice.”

She turned away and stood, staring at the door probably wondering if she could beat me there. I was tired. My body felt drained and exhausted. My mouth was dry and the muscles in my back were sore from tension. I wondered how I could get through to her, how I could make her understand. As she stood there with her back to me I realized that talking to her this way might be easier. I wouldn’t be able to see the hate in her eyes, and she wouldn’t be able to see the devastation in mine. Maybe if I just started talking, explaining, she would stay and listen.

So I began talking.

“I live with three roommates; I sometimes call them my family because they are hellhounds like me. When I met them I was alone, and I knew nothing about what I was or how to control myself. I thought I was a freak, an outcast, and that there wasn’t anyone else out there that could do what I could. But then China – the woman you saw tonight – found me one night and offered me a place to go where people understood.”

Heven made no comment or even moved from the spot she was standing in, but I knew she was listening. So I continued, “At first I liked being with them. I learned a lot about what I am, and it was a relief not having to be alone. But China, started to change, she became harder, meaner somehow.”

Heven’s head tilted just slightly and a little ray of hope bloomed in my chest. I have to make her understand. I went to the mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of water and downed it all. I was so thirsty. Then I reached for another and uncapped it. When I lifted it to my lips I realized that she was no longer turned away. She was looking at me. “Would you like some?” I asked.

She shook her head. “How did she change?”

“China’s been looking for something, an object that she heard about, something that no one has ever seen. We’d been helping her look, even though we really didn’t know what we were looking for. All I know is that it is a map of some sort.”

“Like a map to gold?”

I nodded, pleased that she finally seemed interested. “Exactly. We used to go out every night searching. Our apartment was here, but we went all over the state looking. We could never find it, and as time went by she became angry and frustrated.”

“Then what happened?”

“She started killing people, Hev.” I heard her soft indrawn breath, but I continued to talk – anxious to get it all out before she began yelling again. “We began fighting because I tried to stop her a few times. She would get so angry at me. It was almost like she had to kill them, and if she didn’t…” I shook my head not bothering to finish the sentence.

“She didn’t what?” Heven asked, I noticed she had come forward to sit on the edge of the bed.

“If she didn’t she would get punished or something. I never understood it because I didn’t think China was scared of anything.” So why would she feel like she had to kill?

“Then what happened?” Heven asked. Her voice was deeper than normal because of all the crying she had done.

“Then I saw you.” My voice softened at the memory. “I was running through the woods, and you were out riding Jasper. I thought you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. You were so pure and carefree. I envied that in you.”

I stole a glance at her; she was staring at the wall, her face drawn.

“So I started watching you. Sometimes running in the woods where I knew you rode, and hanging near the library… I liked being near you, even if you never knew I was there.”

“Why didn’t you talk to me?” she asked, curious.

I barked a laugh; it was an empty sound. “Why would you ever want anything to do with someone like me?”

She didn’t answer.

“Anyway, I started skipping the nights that we went searching. I started pulling away from the pack. I hated that she was killing people, but I didn’t know how to make her stop. The others didn’t seem to care what she was doing…I think they even might have helped her. I couldn’t go up against all three of them. I just wanted to be normal. I wanted a real life.”

“One day China followed me, and she saw me watching you. She became angry. She became fixated on you. She got it into her head that I was pulling away from the pack and not helping them search because I was infatuated with you.”

“Were you?” she asked softly. Her eyes were riveted on my face and most of her fear had drained away. She was becoming fascinated by my tale.

“I loved you from the minute I laid eyes on you. I’ve lied about a lot of things, Hev, but I have never lied about that.”

Her eyes seemed to melt a little but then she caught me watching so she sat up straighter and all the emotion left her face.