Masquerade (Heven and Hell #1)(56)
Author: Cambria Hebert

“I have to go.”

“I’m coming with you.”

“You can’t.”

“I will not leave you here unless I know she…”

“Doesn’t think I’m evil too?”

He gave a tight nod. I looked past him to Grandma. She waved. Swallowing my fear I got out and went around the truck toward the porch. I couldn’t stop the tears that filled my eyes.

“You’re mother called,” Gran said, frowning.

I nodded.

“I told her you would be staying with me for a while.”

Relief poured through me so great that I staggered. I heard a truck door slam behind me, and I held up my hand to tell him I was fine. “Thank you, Grandma.”

Her eyes softened. “You couldn’t possibly think I’d turn you away? My favorite granddaughter?” She shook her head. “Come inside, you look like you need some coffee. And bring your friend; it’s clear he’s not leaving until he knows you’re safe.” The door shut softly behind her.

I turned and motioned for Sam. He was out of the truck instantly. A hysteric laugh bubbled out of me. Sam reached my side. “What is it?”

“She invited you in.”

“Well of course I did, I know a good man when I see one,” Grandma called from behind the screen.

I laughed again. Sam took my elbow and guided me into the house.

If Grandma only knew.

“Tell me,” Grandma said, sitting down across from Sam and me.

I looked down at the coffee she’d just handed me. Sam paused in his inhalation of a plate of muffins that sat between us. My stomach revolted just looking at them. “I thought Mom called you.”

“She did. I’d like to hear your side of things.”

“She doesn’t approve of me,” I said, skirting around the ‘E’ word.

“How so?”

I sighed. “She thinks I’m evil. She thinks my scar proves it.”

“She said that to you?”

I nodded, wrapping my hands around the mug. It was nice and warm. Beside me, Sam was quiet.

“What else?”

I repeated everything that happened from the time Mom found me in the kitchen making sandwiches with Sam. I left out the part about us kissing, because that was private. I ended with, “She wants to send me away to some church camp so that they can ‘fix’ the evil inside of me. I couldn’t be there, so Sam brought me here.”

Throughout the explanation, Grandma sat quietly listening, sipping her coffee. When I was finished she sat silent a few more minutes before speaking. “It’s utter nonsense. I’m glad you came here.”

“You mean you don’t agree with her?”

“No. I knew your mother was very dedicated to the church, but I had no idea that she believed such…nonsense.”

“I can stay?”

“Of course you can. Now don’t you worry.” She reached across the table and patted my hand. “I’ll take care of your mother.”

It was only early afternoon, and yet the day felt as if it dragged on forever. I was so exhausted, and not just from today, but since prom. After Gran promised me everything would be all right, she made lunch and insisted that Sam stay. It wasn’t uncomfortable because Grandma didn’t let it be. She seemed genuinely interested in getting to know Sam, and he didn’t seem to mind the questions. Probably because the questions were light, and the food was good.

“Will you be in school tomorrow?” he asked now, standing beside his truck, keys in hand.

“Yeah. Will you?”

“I’m not sure.”

“I have a few things to take care of.”

“Well, thanks for today. For the ride.” I started to turn away.

“Heven.” His voice was rough and so was his hand when he pulled me back. I looked down at where he held my arm, and his touch lightened, his thumb stroking the inside of my wrist. “I’ll be by in the morning to pick you up for school.”

His light touch and gentle words made my eyes sting with tears. I willed myself to be strong, not to cry, but the idea of not seeing him really hurt. I didn’t want to send him away. Even so, I said, “I loved being here with you today, like this, I loved pretending that everything was okay, but it isn’t and I need time. Time to decide what I am going to do.”

“Why?”

“Because you lied to me. I don’t know if we can be together anymore.”

Hurt flashed across his face, but he covered it. His grip tightened on my arm before he let go. I couldn’t help but feel like he was giving up, by not arguing, by not fighting to be with me. I wanted to be angry, but then I remembered what I’d just said. I couldn’t fault him for doing what I asked him to do.

“If you don’t want to see me anymore then I accept that, but I will be around, watching.”

“Is she really going to come after me?” Without thinking I reached up and touched my scars.

“I won’t let her hurt you,” he vowed.

But she already had, and really, hadn’t he been the one that had brought her attention to me? “I have to go.”

He sighed and jammed his hands in his pockets. “If you need me, just call out my name. I’ll hear you and come.”

“Go home, Sam. I don’t need you.” I tried to convince myself of that as much as I was trying to convince him. I knew I would need him if China came back to finish her task, but it was just as hard thinking about him being so close, when I didn’t know if I could trust him with my heart, but knowing he was the only one who would ever have it.

It took all my courage to walk away. And when I did, I blinked back my tears because I had to be strong. I needed time – time to really convince myself that I didn’t need him, because deep in my heart I was afraid that I did.

That night I had a nightmare.

And the night after that.

And the night after that.

In fact, since I told Sam to go away, I had a nightmare every night for two weeks.

They were always the same: dark, scary and lonely.

They all started out the same. I was alone, walking home in the dark. I’d stayed too late at the library and the clicking of my high heels on the pavement was like an exclamation point that danger was lurking. Then there was the rustling of the bushes and the running…

I woke up screaming.

Every time.

The first few nights Grandma came running into my room to see what was wrong. She’d rub my back and hum a lullaby, and I would pretend that it soothed me. When she was gone I would get up out of bed on shaking knees and run to my dresser for the bracelet Sam gave me. The metal always felt warm in my hand and the weight of it around my wrist was comforting.