Masquerade (Heven and Hell #1)(62)
Author: Cambria Hebert

“Well aren’t you just a show off?” I smiled. I liked being like this with him. With everything out in the open, no secrets between us. It felt lighter, easier.

But then a stray thought pierced through my happy mood. I returned the bag of carrots to the fridge and cleared my throat. “I should be getting inside before Gran comes looking for me.”

He frowned and hooked me around the waist, towing me near him. “Hey, did I frighten you?”

“No. I…” I tried to step out of his hold.

He wouldn’t let me. “You what?”

The words rushed out of me, toppling over one another. “Can you live forever?”

He paused, weighing my words and searching for something in my eyes. “The idea upsets you?”

I was embarrassed, and I shrugged.

“Why?”

Because the thought of me aging and dying while he stayed behind was depressing. I wanted him all to myself; I was selfish. When I got wrinkled and old and died, he would find someone new, young and beautiful. I turned and buried my face against him, inhaling deeply of his scent.

“Heven?”

“Because I have to get old and die. I want to stay with you.”

He chuckled. “I have to get old and die too.”

“Really?” I pulled back searching for the truth in his eyes.

“Yes. You seem thrilled at my impending doom.”

“Our impending doom,” I said, burrowing against him once more. “And it won’t be for a long time.”

His chest vibrated with laughter, and it tickled me.

“You’ll come for breakfast?”

“Sure. I’m going to go home and shower first, then I’ll be back.”

At the barn door I stopped but didn’t look back. “Sam? I never really walked away. I thought of you every minute, and I couldn’t sleep without your bracelet. It was a terrible mistake that I never, ever plan to make again.”

I heard his breath hitch as I let myself out the door.

The scent of breakfast wafted all the way upstairs and made my stomach growl viciously. Throughout my routine of showering and dressing, I couldn’t stop thinking about the things Sam confided in me. I didn’t understand how his parents could turn him away. It made my stomach ache.

I stepped in front of the mirror to brush my hair, and my gaze landed on my scars. After everything Sam had been through, they seemed small and insignificant. Staring at myself, I pulled all my hair back, away from my face, into a high ponytail. If these scars were the worst that ever happened to me then I was lucky. My mother’s words floated through my head, marked by evil. I guess I could understand how Sam’s parents treated him. Wasn’t my mother treating me the same?

How could she raise me for sixteen years and then blame me for how I turned out? It hardly seemed fair that something I didn’t ask for or want could make others judge me. But, to be fair, the only one who truly judged me was my mother. My friends, they never judged me, I allowed myself to believe that is what they were doing, but they weren’t. Hadn’t they just explained that to me at prom? So, yeah, I guess I did know how Sam felt, only it was worse for him because his rejection is real. The realization was humbling. Suddenly, I ached for Sam, ached for his crooked smile and golden gaze. I wanted to touch him and feel his strength. A strength that not only came from his true identity, but from everything he had already overcome.

Downstairs Gran was heaping steaming blueberry pancakes onto a huge platter. “I hope you’re hungry,” she said, adding the platter to an astonishing array of other loaded-down platters. Eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, fruit…

“Holy cow! You made enough for an army.”

She laughed. “I noticed how that young man of yours likes to eat.”

Her words caused a stirring inside of me. Sam was mine just as I was his. “I’m not even sure he can put a dent in all this food.” I went over to the coffee and poured a mug, adding sugar and cream. “I’m starving.”

“Grab a plate!”

I sipped my coffee instead, wanting to wait for Sam. There was a knock at the back door, and I ran to it, my face breaking into a wide smile at the thought of him standing there.

Except it wasn’t Sam.

It was my mother.

My smile vanished.

“Mother,” I said, stepping away from the door as she stepped inside.

“Hello, Heven. Good morning, Silvia.”

Grandma turned from the sink. “Good morning, Madeline. I didn’t hear you pull up.”

“Yes, I’m sorry for stopping by without calling, but I was just coming from church.”

“You’re welcome anytime. Would you like some breakfast?”

My stomach suddenly lurched at the idea of food. Surprisingly, it made me angry. Seconds ago I was happy and felt really good for the first time in a long time, and she ruined it.

“No, thank you,” she replied, looking me over. “You pulled your hair up.”

She disapproved. I realized I didn’t care. “Yes. I decided that my scars are not something that I need to be ashamed of. Worse things could happen to me than this,” I motioned to my face.

“You accept your scars?”

“Yes.” I guess I did.

This seemed to worry her. “Have you filled out the registration forms for the camp this summer?”

I looked to the top of the fridge where I’d put them, hoping to forget about them. “No.”

“Fill them out now. I’ll mail them tomorrow.”

“No.”

“No?”

“I’m not going to that camp.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, Mom, I’m not. I won’t let you punish me for something that wasn’t my fault. I am not evil. I am the same girl I’ve always been.” I hadn’t really believed that myself until I said the words just now.

“That’s the evil inside you, influencing you. You must turn away from the bad, Heven.”

“That’s quite enough,” Grandma said, coming to stand beside me.

“You agree with her?” Mom seemed surprised.

“Do you think my son would approve of the way you are treating his daughter?”

Mom paled. “Jason isn’t here for me to ask, so I must do what I think is best for our daughter.”

I wished my father was here. Things would be very different. Mom would be different. Grandma stepped toward my mother and placed a hand on her shoulder. “I know. You have done a wonderful job with Heven these last years. Jason would be proud. But this, this…”