Masquerade (Heven and Hell #1)(68)
Author: Cambria Hebert

He seemed angry when he dropped me off at Gran’s before he went to work. When I asked him about it, he scooped my face up in his huge palms and said fiercely, “I love you.” He made it sound like a sacred vow that no one would dare challenge. I was left staring at his retreating truck through the house window with a ball of ice in my belly and goose bumps on my arms.

I spent some time staring out the windows and jumping at every strange sound I heard until my own paranoia began to annoy me.

I couldn’t live my life like this.

Sam couldn’t live his life like this.

For months and months I’d lived under a hood, beneath my hair and in the shadows. How much longer was I going to hide? My life was here now, and it was waiting. I looked out the window once more, not to be certain that no one was there, but to see the blue sky and the bright, shining sun. I looked out to the orchard where the trees were budding with new life. For too long I’d lived, mostly without knowing, in fear of China.

It ended today.

For me.

For Sam.

School would be out very soon, and I wanted us to have the best summer we could. If we were going to do that, it meant no more looking over our shoulders, no more hiding, and definitely no Bible camp to exorcise my demons. I wasn’t exactly sure how to accomplish my first two goals, so I decided to begin with the easiest: my mother.

She was surprised to see me on the other side of the door, waiting to be allowed in. “You don’t have to ring the bell,” she told me.

“I knew you weren’t expecting me.”

“Come in,” she said, opening the door wide.

I ignored how nervous I felt and walked in. It was exactly the same as always. I don’t know why, but I was surprised. Maybe because I felt so different.

“What brings you by?”

“Uh, I was hoping I could get some of my spring and summer clothes to take to Gran’s.”

Was that disappointment in her eyes? She nodded, “Of course.”

I sighed. “I was hoping we could talk, too.”

She smiled and some of the tension fell from her face. “Would you like to stay for dinner?”

Oh, God. Chicken. I couldn’t say no, I was here to make our relationship better. “Sure. I hadn’t realized it was so close to dinner already.” I guess I would just eat again later with Sam and Gran.

I followed her into the kitchen, where she began going through the cupboards. “Have you had a busy day?”

Before I could think better of it I said, “Yes. I helped Sam find a new apartment.”

I saw her shoulders stiffen, but all she said was, “That’s nice.”

“Mom,” I began, but she cut me off to say, “I don’t have any chicken. Would it be okay if I just make us some soup and sandwiches?”

“That’d be great!” Anything was better than chicken!

I started putting together some grilled cheese sandwiches while she heated the soup. It was a little awkward at first, but then I found myself telling her all about my classes and how I applied for the job at the local ice cream shop. I also told her about Gran’s and my plan for the orchard and pumpkin patch. I even invited her to come help one weekend.

I had devoured half of my sandwich when I noticed how quiet it was and looked up. She was staring at me with the spoon in her hand and an unreadable expression on her face.

I swallowed. “Is there something on my face?” I asked, picking up my napkin.

“You’re happy,” she said, somewhat stunned.

Slowly, I nodded. “I am.”

“Living with Silvia has been good for you.”

I nodded again, looking down at my soup. Living with her was easier. I didn’t feel like I had to hide myself, but I didn’t want to say that out loud. “Things have just seemed a little easier lately, you know?”

She nodded slowly, setting down her spoon. “I don’t know what to say.”

She was hurt. I’d hurt her feelings. I felt bad. “I miss you, though! That’s why I’m here. I hate the way things are between us. I was hoping we could be close like we used to be.” I reached across the table and touched her hand.

“I would like that too.” She smiled.

Feeling better, I took another bite of grilled cheese. Mom got up and went over to the counter and picked up a large white envelope and brought it back to the table. “This came for you the other day. It’s your itinerary and packing list for Camp Hope.”

“Camp Hope?” I asked, clueless. Then I remembered. “I was hoping we could talk about that.”

“What is there to say?”

That I’m not evil? That I don’t need to go to some cult camp? “I’m doing good; I’m happy. I don’t think I need to go there.”

“We’ve discussed this, Heven,” Mom said, weary. “You’re going.”

I jumped up from the table, sending my chair clattering to the floor. “That’s just it! We haven’t talked about it. You came home one day and declared that you think I’m evil, and that I need to be sent away!”

“You haven’t been making the right choices.”

“Why? Because I went to prom? Because I helped out the cheerleading squad when they needed it? Because I have a boyfriend?”

“You’re not allowed to date that boy. He’s a bad influence.”

“This is because I have a boyfriend?”

“Part of the reason. You’d been late several times for curfew, you pretended to be sick to skip school, and I caught you making out with that boy.”

“He has a name.”

“You’re moody and sullen, you hardly eat.”

“I’ve gained five pounds!” I yelled. “And I was attacked and left disfigured! You can’t expect me to walk around singing and happy after that!”

“It was a sign.” How could she just sit there calmly like that? I was so upset my hands were shaking. I could feel the muscles in my neck bunch with tension, and I was seriously sorry I ate that sandwich.

“A sign?” I said flatly, taking a deep breath through my nose.

“That you would be tested. The devil has glimpsed the bad in you, he seeks to try and turn you from God. It’s a test, Heven. You have to turn your back on sin and choose holiness.”

Was she serious? “You don’t really believe that?” I let the words slip.

Her cool exterior finally slipped. She stood up from her chair and planted both palms on the table, leaning forward. “I do, young lady, and you’d better, too. This is your very soul that’s in trouble. I will not take that lightly.”